Detroit, MI – My dear friends in Christ through the Lonaldian Way, in this edition of IWAM, I sat down (without shaking hands) with James Pearson, a 19 year old Juggalo, who naturally lives in the basement of his parent’s home in an undisclosed suburb of Detroit.
Although of normal complexion beneath his hideous white and black clown makeup, James is a filthy Juggalo, meaning a fan of the trip hop shock duo, Insane Clown Posse. Juggalos are a self-rape subculture, having used their hands for sin since the first ICP Faygo showers back in 1989. The band’s lewd lyrics focus on murder, gluttony, and a psychopathic method of masturbation dubbed, the “Jack-all,” illustrated on their breakthrough rap album “The Great Mil-yank-o.” I won’t even mention what a Juggalo would walk up and do in your macaroni dinner.
NOTE: The heavy use of ghetto gang slang and offensive expletives has forced extensive editing of the subject’s responses.
The subject seemed in an amphetamine state, in constant motion. I finally got him to sit down with his arms crossed and right leg nervously tapping the floor.
Cassidy Pen: Good Day, Mr, Pearson. What propelled you to become a Juggalo?
James Pearson: Be like jammin’ in the elementary trip when uptight straights peddling their establishment propaganda on the kids force me to shake my head at the sh*t and be all like what I wanna be, home.
CP: After you turned away from Faith to embrace the sin of self-rape, what did your parents…
JP: yo yo yo old punk-ass muthaf*cka be judgin and sh*t…who the f*ck you be rapping at me ’bout what I do wit MY HANDS and MY LIFE…you ol’ bastard, be hatin’ an think you f*kin’ above us wih yo g*ddam beard and hat and shit…f*ck this, man I’m outta here…crazy bitch ass mutha f*kin (further dialog inaudible)
At this point young James fled the interview. I placed my Glock 21 back on safety and released grip as he left. Thankfully, I was not forced to draw in self-defense.
Sadly, young James is beyond redemption, a prayer category classification of “Lost Soul” to the sin of masturbation. He’s a product of his peer group, the Juggalos and their anti-social lifestyle, forged by Satan…a mind and body addicted to the erection and the hand finale. Young James is a prisoner to the “pull & pop” lifestyle that has corrupted thousands of Juggalos.
Our efforts to redeem souls and point sinners toward the light of Lonnie’s Golden Love is best focused elsewhere for only frustration will result if we attempt to reach out to these dregs.