Why are People Masturbating While Watching The Walking Dead?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—One of the most popular television shows this decade has been The Walking Dead. It is a show about a rag tag group of survivors fighting their way through a post-apocalyptic world.  The show seems innocent enough, however our data shows a marked increase in masturbation and masturbation related activities when people view this Showtime television program.

Thanks to a federal grant from the Foundation For a Better Tomorrow we analyzed all the episodes to look for masturbation related content and what we  found out is a must read for any concerned parent.

Nudity:
Each Walking Dead Episode has 11 nude scenes.  Many are gratuitous and do not further the storyline.

Lesbian Sex:
There is nothing more sickening or selfish than two attractive women having sexual relations with one another. Unfortunately in the Walking Dead most girls have constant lesbian relations.
tumblr_mockd8uYIQ1r3iafjo1_500 Redheads:
Redheads are a constant temptation to people who are abstaining from masturbation. Unfortunately the whole case of the walking dead seems to be full of supermodel redheads.

 

Breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding is wrong, especially when the kid is ten. In The Walking Dead, breastfeeding happens at all ages.
755259_1308878589689_fullHodor:
In the world of The Walking Dead the word Hodor means self-rape.
hodor-v2

 

13 Comments on Why are People Masturbating While Watching The Walking Dead?

  1. I am majoring in faith medicine/healing at B.L.U.F.F we have learnt that male masturbaters develope a condition known as “erectile glaucoma” they become literally blinded by their sinful act! My studies have reinforced why our mission is so important! In my spare time I have developed a new garment for lesser gendereds, quite inexpensive. All that is required is a burlap sack with a lonnie approved veiwing window. Praise.

  2. No we do not promote Game of thrones as it promotes Masturbation. Everything posted on this holy net site is 98% accurate. Praise

  3. Those pictures are from game of thrones. Leave it to religious people to be incapable of factual research

    • Oh John John you know nothing. You were probably so busy masturbating at the 17 minute mark of season 3 episode 4 that you didn’t realize what show you were watching

  4. If you are going to sling around your hateful site…..get it right. It’s Game of Thrones not Walking dead….

  5. Jesus and Bro Lonnie please forgive me! Every time one of those wanton, sinful actresses shows her Satanic PLayground on the cables, I HODOR in my pants!

    Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

  6. These are the same geniuses that confused john denver with bob denver…fap fap fap… oh i love mary ann’s body…

  7. LOL, I can’t fucking tell if this is a real site dedicated to anti masturbation by religious wackjobs or if it is legitimately a joke website. I love it.

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