Faith Fact Series

Are Masturbators Mentally Handicapped?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—It’s the age old question… what came first the chicken or the egg? Well it kind of depends who you talk to, if you are a faithful follower of the teachings of Lonnie then you are well aware that the chicken was created intact and whole. However if you are a liberal who worships scLIEnce, then you believe that some goo morphed into a fish and then a chicken. Well the same question is often asked here, does masturbation make people stupid or is it just that stupid people are prone to rape themselves?

Thanks to a $50,000 federally funded grant from the Foundation for a Better Tomorrow we did some research on the subject.

We asked 100 college students whether they feel more or less like studying after masturbating.

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We also tested a cross section of people with various IQ levels to see their masturbation level.

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These results may not tell us whether masturbation makes you stupid or whether stupid people masturbate, but it is obvious there is a correlation.

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cumsprayer69
cumsprayer69
5 years ago

This is the stupidest fucking shit I’ve ever read in my life.

Teasipper
Teasipper
5 years ago
Reply to  cumsprayer69

And that is exactly why it sells so well.

t0ejam
t0ejam
5 years ago

Obviously a self rapist reaching out for help but cannot find the words.

masturbatingfun
masturbatingfun
4 years ago
Reply to  t0ejam

I swear all you “anti masturbators” play wack-a-mole with your cow once in awhile. it’s a human thing damn it.

stealer of Lonnie's golden showers
stealer of Lonnie's golden showers
5 years ago

Dinosaurs had eggs long before there were chickens. Stupid question. Always has been.

Bonzo Dog
Bonzo Dog
5 years ago

You got $50,000 dollars for this garbage..what idiot thought that waste of money was a good idea..and what’s his name..I could do with that kind of money just to ask ..how many…oh that’s right 100 students? The only Wankers here are the fools that stumped up the cash.

Dick Beninya
Dick Beninya
5 years ago

Im masturbating to this article right now.

Mac Wilde
Mac Wilde
5 years ago

i am masturbating to that hot blonde you have at the top of the article. Wow, she is hot!! Sorry, forgive me, but she is tempting………..

Vinly
Vinly
5 years ago

How were these statistics recovered? Did you mainly ask Christian people? We’re they only kids? If so we’re their parents Christian?

Anon
Anon
3 years ago
Reply to  Vinly

I’m Christian and I don’t believe their shit.

morris shrem
morris shrem
5 years ago

Best part is the headline is about being mentally handicap.
LISTEN UP U FUCKING STUPID ASS SHITS BEING MENTALLY HANDICAPPED DOESN’T MEAN BEING STUPID AT ALL YOU GUYS MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE JUST PLEASE GO BACK TO FUEDAL EUROPE AND DIE

Nigel Covington
5 years ago

Dear Morris Shrem, I challenge you to explain your comment where you said… “BEING MENTALLY HANDICAPPED DOESN’T MEAN BEING STUPID AT ALL.” So how do you explain retards?

F this site
F this site
4 years ago

Intelligence is not directly controlled by inheritance because intelligence is ADAPTED. However, mental capacity is directly controlled by the protein FOXp2 which controls and facilitates thinking. what causes Intellectual disability is error to DNA in the protein FOXp2. The difference between Intellectual disability and retardation is that retards LACK FOXp2 in its entirety. People with mental disability can still participate in intellectual ability but with a disadvantage.

Sandra Bee
Sandra Bee
3 years ago

mentally handicapped is not based on what you did to yourself at any point in life. that is who you where born to be. being stupid in my oppinion is the same as ignorant. thats the difference. i am otherwise indifferent to your oppinions people but i dont masturbate, i do have sex with my significant other and i am not a saint Lonnie child. i have a toy to help me if i should need it. i just dont. so what am i? a lost cause???

Dneiesndnei
Dneiesndnei
5 years ago

This is bullshit

Jessica Lawrence
Jessica Lawrence
5 years ago

This is the most ridiculous site I have came across. Fuck you and all you pretentious Bible Bangers. “Straight male over sight? ” This is nothing but a bunch of sheep blindly following a controlling, mind washing and degrading cult disguised as religion. I “pray” that you poor fools pull your heads out of your ass and realize there is nothing wrong with sex, or liking sex for that matter. If you are a good person, who ever is running this world won’t damn you for enjoying everything this planet has to offer. Get out there, live your life and… Read more »

Alden
Alden
5 years ago

This whole page is a joke right? It has to be.

Atheist for lifr
Atheist for lifr
4 years ago

This is the most hallarious website I have ever seen, proof that Christians are nuts

W I S D O M
W I S D O M
4 years ago

I mean not all christians are like this.
I masturabte,i smoke weed,i partake in sex w bae,i believe in homosexual marriage ,ect and im christian.Even i think this is ridiculous and has to be a joke!

Nerdy ?
Nerdy ?
4 years ago

Sciences is the process of how God created something. God created things like cells dividing and stuff like mitosis and all that

Sad Walrus
Sad Walrus
4 years ago

the creators of this article must masturbate a lot

A Biology Teacher
A Biology Teacher
4 years ago

Being mentally handicapped implies having a disease that alters your brain in some way, which is not the same as being dumb. Being dumb implies that you either don’t know things, or don’t care to learn them. There is NO correlation.

Assface
Assface
3 years ago

Being dumb is being deaf

Poo On You
Poo On You
4 years ago

What a fucktard. The question pertains to chicken eggs. Not dinosaurs. So in your retarded language, what came first, the dinosaur or the egg?

F this site
F this site
4 years ago

Intelligence is not directly controlled by inheritance because intelligence is ADAPTED. However, mental capacity is directly controlled by the protein FOXp2 which controls and facilitates thinking. what causes Intellectual disability is error to DNA in the protein FOXp2. The difference between Intellectual disability and retardation is that retards LACK FOXp2 in its entirety. People with mental disability can still participate in intellectual ability but with a disadvantage.

Commie
Commie
4 years ago

If you’re trying to prevent people from masturbating you should remove the hot school girl fetish woman image from this page.

Intelligent Wanker
3 years ago

My IQ is over 130 and I masturbate every day. twice. an hour.

Bro
Bro
3 years ago

Dude this whole website is a joke.

Michael Mcdoesn'texist
Michael Mcdoesn'texist
3 years ago

Honestly, this website is horrible. First off, Quit making fun of mentally handicapped people, and quit telling people that masturbation is a bad thing. It’s actually a good thing. If you have ever taken health in 9th grade, you would learn that STD’s come from SEX with ANOTHER person with STD’s, NOT from masturbating. Maybe if you finished school, you would know this shit! A lot of the stuff you post on this website is DISCRIMINATING! SO STOP!

JimmyWhacker123
JimmyWhacker123
2 years ago

Silly Willy, look up “definition of troll” for me, will you?

TrumpForMasturbation
TrumpForMasturbation
2 years ago

It’s a proven fact that Trump masturbates while Russian hookers piss on him. You’re not patriotic if you can’t get behind jerkin Donnie.

JimmyWhacker123
JimmyWhacker123
2 years ago

You guys realize this whole entire website is a troll right?