Family Dies in House Fire Caused by Masturbating Teen

San Francisco House Fire Claims Five Lives
San Francisco House Fire Claims Five Lives

By Nigel J. Covington III, The Covington Report

(SAN FRANCISCO) – An early morning fire broke out shortly after midnight Tuesday morning killing a family of five. The fire occurred at the Bryant home at 1561 San Juan Rd. in that sewer dump of San Francisco.
The fire started in one of the bedrooms and quickly spread to other areas of the house according to Fire department Capt. John Montorello, who added it took three fire companies to get the fire under control. The house was completely destroyed.
The victims have been identified as Bruce Bryant, 38, Kimberly Bryant, 34, Billy Bryant, 14, Jennifer Bryant, 12, and Breanna Bryant, age 8.
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Capt. Montorello, said fire investigators believe the fire was accidentally started by the Bryant’s 14 year-old son Billy. Billy appears to have been viewing filthy and vile pornographic images of people engaging in unspeakable acts of sins of the flesh by candlelight while masturbating in his bedroom.
One of Billy’s friends from school admitted they’d found a stash of pornographic magazines the day before while playing in the woods near the Bryant’s home.
Investigators believe the boy was vivaciously masturbating after his family had fallen asleep and at some point, likely on a down-stroke Billy unknowingly knocked over the candle which caused the window drapes to burst into flames that quickly spread to other areas of the house. The case remains under investigation.
The loss of a family of five is tragic but all the warning signs and portents of doom were present. Mom and dad both worked for two liberal Silicon Valley social media giants. The Bryant’s lived in the Godless, Democrat-run, liberal, shit-hole of San Francisco and none of the Bryant’s were registered members of any church in the city.
San Francisco was once a beautiful bustling international port city, but today it’s a Democrat-run, filthy, disease-infected, shantytown overrun by the homeless, illegals and other burdens on society who’ve taken the city over.
The facts are statistics show an alarmingly higher rate of incidents of God’s vengeance; such as the Bryant house fire and tragic loss of life being recorded in most left-winged, liberal, Democrat-run cities and states around the country.
Masturbation is rampant in California, Florida, New York and in that greasy shit-hole of Chicago. Only in these regions where masturbation has become so alarmingly high do you see God’s vengeance coming so swiftly and having such unimaginable and dire consequences.
Make no mistake about it you never see an angry God wielding such swift and harsh punishments in America’s heartland where God’s people live in harmony and work together.

43 Comments on Family Dies in House Fire Caused by Masturbating Teen

    • Greetings Matt,
      Yes this is a real website and no the article is not a joke. Sadly many Americans have lost their way and their faith in God. Liberal Democrats and all the dangerous illegals they allow into our country are largely to blame for the high rates of murder, rape, child molestation and disease. During the disgraced and corrupt administration of president Obama millions of Americans became depressed, they lost their trust of government and their faith in God which has led to the rampant, even epidemic increase in masturbation which plagues our country today. We hope to restore the nation’s dignity with the help of President Donald Trump. Hope you’ll be apart of the solution.

      • Child molestation. It’s preists who are engaging in most of this shit! Come on! If god hates masturbation so much, then why do men who don’t masturbate have a higher risk of developing testicular cancer? The more fapping the better. Not only that, but instead of focusing o the aspect of don’t play with fire, you instead focus on the political aspects which had little to do with it! What if it was 2 married consenting adults attemping to conceive a child? It’s the fire part, not the fapping part you should be worried about!

        • I agree, there are some fucking dumb idiots in this world, this website won’t stop masturbation since there are some dumb fucking people who think masturbation is a sin when it really isn’t.

      • Also, atheists are less likely than christians to commit crimes. Less than 1% of the prison population is atheist. (Compared to the 15% of Americans that are)

      • I pray in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth that Masturbation comes to an end in America and my own country Great Britain, both countries that were once great nations because the majority of the population believed in God, now Christians are sadly becoming a minority, which isn’t surprising since God’s word predicted this. (1 Timothy 4:1-3).
        Before my conversion to Christianity, I used to masturbate and I used to enjoy it, there was a time when I could never get enough of it, but now I don’t enjoy it anymore, so I stopped doing it. Whenever I had an orgasm through this ungodly act, I felt like I was having a seizure, then after I had ejaculated all over my bathroom floor, I felt ashamed, depressed and suicidal.
        So now I don’t do it anymore, I am now a good little boy and I try and live as holy as I can like Jesus, I will pray for both nations, (Genesis 12:1-2)
        God Bless you all in Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen!

      • Is there a link to the news story? I live in the Bay Area and can’t find it. Googled “San Juan Avenue fire San Francisco august 14 2018”

    • Greetings Turbo Masturbator,
      Why do you ask, you’d recognize sarcasm when you see it wouldn’t you? Have you come to this holy website seeking to break and end the vicious cycle of masturbation you’re trapped in? You can contact us if you’re ready to admit your problem and wish to live a better life without the sin and shame associated with masturbation.

  1. I’m really hoping this bitch was made completely ironically. Damn, you really going to go for the claim that this house fire was doomed to happen because the family thinks a little differently for you? I’m sure house fires aren’t just reserved for democrats, but okay sweetie. The bible is completely silent on the subject of masturbation. For all you know, god can be jerking it right now to some anime titties.

  2. I masturbated so frequently last week that my penis is sore. Can anyone recommend a good lube I can use? I’m a Christian and I’m really trying my best to cut down my self abuse, and I’m down from 2-3 times a day to just once each weekday and twice of a weekend. I also now only look at Christian porn, ie porn where I can verify that the actors / participants are Christian and when I ejaculate I say a little prayer (“oh Jesus” or something like that). I’ve also cut way down on my consumption of gay porn and now just use it now and then for a little treat, say on my birthday or Christmas. I’m hoping to stop altogether one day.

  3. there’s multiple full-ass reasons i left the church in the first place and the absolute malice for porn and masturbation was definitely one of them. i honestly cannot tell if this is sarcasm but the whole of this site seems so fake. anyway i love ringing the devil’s doorbell almost every single day. masturbation is a healthy and HUMAN thing to do. y’all are so weird.

  4. All you dumb christan motherfuckers are so fucking retarded. I thought this website was a joke, and still do. FUCK YOU FAGGOTS! I’m fucking catholic and I fucking jack off every day! You can’t do shit!

  5. The End times are approaching we will be seeing more and more of these events in the future. All masturbators will be removed and be sent to where they belong.

  6. “No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously to make pleasure on her own terms” ~ 1920

    • what you’re saying is that if I masturbate I’ll be able to shoot fire out of my hands? wow that’s sick!

      But for real now. There is no real proof of masturbation being the reason a house burnt down. Unless someone gives me a link to an actual news article about that incident, this right here is even worse than masturbation (according to the seven deadly sins). You are lying about someone’s death just to use it as an example for insane claims.

  7. I cannot find any articles pertaining to this story anywhere on the internet… Not one.

    As a once religious man, who is on the right of the politucal spectrum, I can say that you and you jedgemental attutude is utterly shameful to all those you claim to represent. I find it amusing that you claim to live by the word of god, but you are more than happy to blaspheme, judge, and hate your fellow man. You, sir, need to find god, because I don’t believe you have found the love that christianity used to proffess. But more importantly, you need to find peace. You are clearly a man at war with himself, a man who is not content with controlling his own life, so he feels the need to direct hatred to others.

    Love, Gay 16 year old who believed in god until he was abused by a female christian headmaster.

  8. Fucking idiots. Masturbation is actually healthy for you. I even learned about it in 5th grade. Its part of human nature. So you should’ve thought twice before making this dumb fucking website. Making a website like this won’t stop people from masturbating.

    • im hoping this is a meme website lol, masturbation is definitely healthy, prevents prostate cancer for men aswell

  9. I looooove masturbating, especially taking it in the ass with my vibrating and rotating dildo, just makes me cum all over the floor, but my most amazing jack off session is when I came on the bible

  10. Lmao came here from a reddit post thinking i would find a good meme website, found this shit XD
    I wonder if the poor, misled sod who made this website still updates it? I mean just look at the wikipedia article for masturbation if you want to see the scientific community’s (clearly a much smarter community than you) opinions on it. The overwhelming consensus is that it is a normal thing. Apparently babies have strayed from the path of God at five months old, because they are known to play with that part just the same as they would their ear or nose. I generally have a high opinion of religious people who are reasonable, as they usually have a good moral compass. However, YEC, flat earthers and delusional people like you are a principal reason I’m an atheist.

  11. Well I don’t think men would have a higher risk of Jack Elation cancer thing? I mean I have ejaculated in my sleep so if guys do that then it’s healthier and they won’t get ejaculation cancer well technically injaculating in your sleep is more cleaner in God’s way maybe. so like I said just keep on getting hard in your bed and you’ll be fine peace out God bless.

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