SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Pending the announcement of the grand jury verdict in Ferguson, Mo. clearing Officer Darren Wilson of wrongdoing in the shooting of robbery suspect Michael Brown, angry protesters vowed to take their rage to the streets regardless of the decision.
With racial tensions flaring anew, Childs urged the Bleck community to stop rioting and killing each other. “Bleck lives matter too. While we appreciate them keeping their gang killings and looting within their own community, these kinds of monkeyshines are wholly unproductive and prevent any kind of empowerment and advancement,” said Childs, speaking from the parking lot of Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts™ (B.L.U.F.F.) in Safford, Ariz..
“I marched with Dr. King as a young man in the 1960s when I was in seminary school, and I carry his dream with me to this day. However, these madcap shenanigans in Ferguson are getting out of hand. The marauding looters and protesters need to be kept in check by any means necessary,” said Childs as he unpacked his vintage Manville riot cannon from the trunk of his car and test fired several incendiary flares into the air. “This is in case any of the violence spills over into Arizona. It’s highly unlikely, but we always like to be prepared.”
Brother Lonnie Test-Fires Riot Cannon with Incendiary Flares
“These inner-city youths can stop killing each other, pull their pants up and learn calculus at any time. They can also to stop listening to the raps and the hip hops, which only encourages the sexist braggadocio and violence. A healthy respect for the police wouldn’t hurt either.”
“They may be second-class citizens, but they’re our second-class citizens,” said the Christian minister.