Family Values

You Are Cordially Invited…

Paula Austin awaiting her Holy Wedding Day in the Purity Cage.

Paula Austin awaiting her Holy Wedding Day in the Purity Cage.

You are cordially invited, that’s right, the entire Internet is invited, to celebrate the Holy Matrimony of my Brother Myron Danus to his Lonnie-approved, Same Race Assigned Spouse, Paula Austin, on Friday December 12th at 6pm.

The best picture I could find of Myron.  Sorry ladies, his Fedora only tips for Paula Austin now.

The best picture I could find of Myron. Sorry ladies, his Fedora only tips for Paula Austin now.

The wedding ceremony itself will be a private function for family and friends at the B.L.U.F.F. compound in Safford, AZ at an undisclosed time, in order to limit the paparazzi, but you are all still invited to the reception at Senator August Weisz’s home in Sandpoint, ID, provided you are of Normal skin or are Lonnie-approved whitewashed. Dress-code will be strictly enforced. No saggy pants, ball caps, Hijabs, or Reggae clothing allowed.

Do not wear this outfit, or you will be turned away at the door.

Do not wear this outfit, or you will be turned away at the door.

The main goal of this wedding is to save Paula Austin from her life of drug-abuse and self-rape, so my brother, Myron, needs the full support of the Interweb community, because she has been addicted to drugs and masturbation since she was 7 years old. Myron and Lonnie have their work cut out for them with this lesser-gendered type, but all things are possible through Lonnie’s golden shower of love. Lonnie Child’s will be officiating the ceremony. Deacon Riley Lucas will be giving Paula away to Myron. Julian Taylor, Matthew Perkins and Liam McKey will be Myron’s Groomsmen. Tina Black, Polly Gamus, Cathy Redmond and Truffle will be Paula’s Bridesmaids. Musical entertainment will be provided by Matty B Raps
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAZi8Sjf1ek&w=560&h=315]

and additional music will be provided by David Hasselhoff. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vNsDhFaKUk&w=420&h=315]

The finale will be Peter Cetera though, Paula loves him. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWHOF_0-6Hg&w=420&h=315]

I hope to see you all at this once in a lifetime event. Let’s make it the biggest wedding reception in history. If you wish to attend, RSVP in the comments section, and you will receive an email with the address and a travel and hotel voucher for 30% off your tickets and accommodations. Thank you in advance for joining us in this celebration, and there will be a full write up of the wedding and reception for those who can not attend. God bless most of you.

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Truffle
Member

OML!! I am so excited, I’m fit to burst!!!

Blessings and Praising to the future Holy happy couple!

Milton Grits
Member

When two of Lonnie’s flock are joined in holy, heavenly bliss, it always brings me to tears (NO HOMO)

Ms Millie Tant
Guest
Ms Millie Tant

Gender traitors deserve to be caged inside Xtian marriages. Not even the womyn shelters care about them anymore. They are a lost cause. They had their chance to escape but chained themselves up instead. Mostly due to internalized misogyny and their disgusting submissive sexual rape fantasies. If they want to be heteronormative breeders and sex objects I wish nothing on them except the sweaty balls of sexually frustrated fedora wearing neckbeards slapping against their faces repeatedly. “Chill Girl” gets what “Chill Girl” deserves. Maybe if she was chubbier, had less of a tan and dressed modestly she wouldn’t have been… Read more »

Caroline Penny
Guest
Caroline Penny

This will be the wedding of the year! So good to see that Myron does his best to rescue Paula from her sinfulness. I always love to see them together. A couple united with Lonnie’s blessings will survive anything

A Smart Guy
Guest
A Smart Guy

I’m just going to say that if this is real, saying you must be of “normal skin” is able to qualify as racist. Oh yeah, you would need a crap-ton of people to make it the biggest. I’m pretty sure that the biggest were done by kings and queens or any other type of ruler. And I know that putting and locking someone inside a cage when they are against it, as you can see from her facial expression, is illegal, in like any country in the world besides ones in the Middle East. PS: Hope this marriage goes bad… Read more »

Truffle
Member

Will you be attending the Holy wedding, SmartGuy? It would be nice to finally meet you, although your wife and children wouldn’t be allowed entry, being non-normals an all. I have been chosen to be a bridesmaid. I’m so excited! I hope you’re pleased for me.

A Smart Guy
Guest
A Smart Guy

Ok 4 things:
1. I have a job, a very important job to do, because I provide for my family
2. I will not attend the wedding of idiots, racists, and sexists
3. I am not looking forward to meet you, I never want to
4. How are my children and wife non-normal? If you’re talking health wise, my wife is dysgraphic, but besides that they’re all all healthy.

Truffle
Member

Oh lovely! See you at the reception party!

A Smart Guy
Guest
A Smart Guy

Ok, I’m not going, I’m not wasting vacation days on a stupid reception. And also, answer my question, how are my wife and kids denied entry?

Paula Austin
Guest

Hi A Smart Guy, I am being forced, against my will, into marrying Myron. He disgusts me. I have no clue what to do. Myron constantly bothers me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks FOJ,
Paula

Jack Meoff
Guest
Jack Meoff

That’s kind of rude to wish misfortune on newlyweds. That’s like putting kittens in a garbage bag and throwing it in the river. You just don’t do it. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce already. Ya don’t need to add the extra crippling blow.

A Smart Guy
Guest
A Smart Guy

Relax, it’s only for supporters of this site. And that’s only because they’re racist, sexist, and the definition of stupidity. AND I WOULD NEVER HARM KITTENZ!

nigelcovington
Guest

I’m always pleased to hear about holy matrimony between a normal man & woman knowing their love has been blessed by Jesus and Lonnie. Praise. As a personal friend of Myron Danus I know this marriage is for life and that he will be the perfect husband to this young woman with her detestable and sordid past. Anything she needs will be provided by her husband as God intended. This beautiful girl will no doubt have the life she could’ve only dream of once. Myron believes in respecting women so long as they know their place, don’t speak out when… Read more »

A Smart Guy
Guest
A Smart Guy

Don’t know about you, but in my opinion my wife can interrupt any of my conversations, use my stuff, and leave the house for me to clean, and I shouldn’t give a flying fuck, because I most likely did the same to her. Marriage is an equal partnership.

Godzilla
Guest
Godzilla

Preach it man preach it!

Matt Perkins
Guest
Matt Perkins

Its so great seeing two lovidians join in this holy sin-free matrimony! Praise!

Jack Meoff
Guest
Jack Meoff

Um….I’d go to a racist/idiots/sexist wedding….happily. I tried being non racist/sexist for many years, but at every turn I met all kinds of people that were mean jerks. So I’m tired of being the gods damned bigger man. Hell with that. I’m going to be just like everybody else. Judgemental and a jerk. It’s not like being nice ever got me frakkin anywhere. I wish I could go to a wedding or something fun. I’ve been engaged 7 times and they all end up being freaky weirdos that like to masturbate and want to have plural type sex and invite… Read more »

Jack Meoff
Guest
Jack Meoff

And in addition , I hope you are feeding the young lady well. She looks like she hasn’t eaten in days. A good rule of thumb: a fed bride is a happy bride.

Jack Meoff
Guest
Jack Meoff

Peter Cetera…..doesn’t he do that one song…..forever tonight, with crystal bernard? That blonde lady from wings…..if so, that’s a really good choice for wedding music. Kinda mellow and melodic, smooth and peppy at the same time. Yes, real good choice. More mushy than sexual, yet still with an acceptable sexual undertone at the same time. Kinda like the old Vince gill music,…..but more sexual.

Jack Meoff
Guest
Jack Meoff

Wish I could figure out how to put a profile pic up here……technology kinda irritates me sometimes. Kinda like lesbians. Instead of making things easier, it just makes things more complicated than it has to be. And it smells llike doritos when it gets warm. I never did understand why lesbians smell like doritos. It’s just…..weird. and they’re saltier than normal people too.

Jack Meoff
Guest
Jack Meoff

Maybe it’s because in hell, the fire and brimstone smell like doritos, so……I mean, I’ve smelled brimstone , and it sorta smells like original doritos, and since doritos are cooked in an oven with fire, or….something, then lesbians smell like cheesy doritos because it’s the scent of hell, since that’s where people say they are going. I dunno. Really. I dont. My boss is a lesbian and she scares me. My little brother is gay, and THAT scares me. Plus there’s a lot of people -idiots- out there that assume since he is gay, I am too. And I’m tired… Read more »

Jack Meoff
Guest
Jack Meoff

Dangit. Now I’m hungry for doritos. And maybe a cheeseburger. Mmmmmm….cheese….

Smart Boy
Guest
Smart Boy

Smart Guy, you are a life raft in a sea of Internet retardation, and I will help you to correct these idiotic racist cunts on this so called “holy netsite ”
FUCK YOU LONNIE CHILD TOUCHED