A History Lesson to the Masturbators

SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Masturbation is a sin that breaks God’s heart. Thus, the true soldiers of God have always been at war with The Masturbator.  Professor Milton Grits explains how in the 20th Century the forces of  good came together and struck down the enemy masturbator like a lightning bolt from the heavens. Permission to quote for school research, term papers, et cetera is granted provided proper credit is given.

Teaching a History Lesson at You Masturbators
by Prof. Milton H. Grits with Sister K. Truffle

As a professor of hermeneutics at Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts™, and a licensed historian, I shall present an easy-to-digest account of our 20th Century fight against the forces of evil. From 1939 to 1945, what had what was called The World War Two. 60 million people lost their lives either indirectly or directly in this global conflict. Probably half of you were not even alive when it happened and know nothing about The World War Two other than having played Metals of Honor or The Duty Call on your Atari and Coleco sets. I’ll put it in terms so simple and common that even chronic self-rapers can understand them. I teach young people for a living, so I got this.

gavrilo
Gavrilo Princip, SINstigator of The World War One

The Great War

It all happened because of The World War the First, in which many nations were allied with one another. When one fought another, all the rest of them were anxious to get in on it. You see, the large Hungaro-Austrian Empire wanted to keep the Yugos, i.e. the South Slavs in line. A hunderd years ago,  a nationalist agitator down Serbia way named Gavrilo Prinzip, who made a habit of feverishly touching himself around monarchs, could not contain himself any longer. He parked his Yugo and walked over, grabbed his penis and shot the Archduke of Austria, Franz Ferdinand  who was named after a popular British music group of the time. The Austrians said “Well, screw that, we are sick of your shenanigans and will bury you self-raping Yugos and your little cars once and for all!”

Since the Russians were allied with the Serbs in the great pan-Slavic alliance, the Czar mobilized their troops and semen around Austrian-Hungary and Germany too, who was allied with all their royalty, from the Duchy of Ballathon to the Principality of Goulasch. Germany mustered their troops and semen too. And since the sissy French were on Russia’s side, Germans marched in through the Belgiums to teach those Frenchies a lesson. That Kaiser was really on a roll!

America Enters World War I

All this hubbub angered Prime Minister Wilson Churchill and Queen Elizabeth, so they said, no, we will fight you in the trenches and on the beaches and so forth. And a then German penis-shaped torpedo sank the Lusitania cruise ship, which killed some Americans even though the cruise ship was actually was carrying weapontry for the British. President Woodrow Winston had to make money for the fat-cat arms merchants, so instead of keeping us out of war like he did promise, Americans went to war too and beat the Great Powers back. Many of our “doughboys” came back with cases of mustard gas from eating the European food.

Following the armistice, Woodrow Williston, the mysterious Colonel Edward House, the British Lord Baltimore Cecil and South African Jan Smut formed a panel called the Plague of Nations and made Germany sign the Treaty of Versace, which took away large parts of the country and obligated them not only to disarm but pay heavy reparations by purchasing expensive designer clothing.

wwi
As history teaches us, masturbation leads to Nazism

Interwar Years: Depression, Inflation and Chaos

The end of the war left a lot of chaos in the Germany. The Kaiser fled to the Dutch in another part of Germany as the masturbators overran Berlin, and Germany went to the dogs, resulting in the Weimaraner Republic. After the masturbators took over, they printed a lot of money to pay off the Treaty of Versace and also for nude black & white pictures like Metropolis, Nosferatu, Doctor M’abuse and Dial M for Masturbator. These policies led to hyperinflation, since masturbators always spend money faster than they can make it. Economic crisis led to desperation as the German peoples elected the Commies, Nazi and Green Party to the Reichstag.  Marinus van der Lube, a pyrophiliac Dutch masturbator, burned down the Reichstag and then the NSDAP (The Nasty Socialistische Dutch Arbeiter Partei) made the Adolf Hitler the Obama of Germany.

The Nazi Rise to Power

patternsofforce
Leaders of the Nazi Party

As the Obama of Germany, Adolf Hitler had unlimited dictatorial power, which means they gave him and the National Socialist Dutch Arbeiter Partei a say in everything. He built the Autobahns by saying here, here’s a shovel and some food rations and Kraftwerk records, so get to work you Krauts. The Krauts finally felt like they got their groove back. But Hitler and his henchmen fired all the Jewish lawyers and tailors and told them to get the hell out, even though he made it really hard for them to get out, since the jackbooted Nasties took all their money and paintings and broke all their windows, menorahs and tschotchkes on “Reichs Crystal Light.” Things started getting really rough for the Israeli people in Germany. They also nabbed all their guns, which may not have stopped the Nasties completely, but at least the Jewishers could have shot a few of the Nazi bastards while they were trying to put them in concentrated camps.

110-AugustCockpit
The Heroic Fight for Faith and Family Values

Fascism Advances in Europe

Indeed, dark clouds formed over Europe. Fascism had already swept over Italy with the rise of Benelli Mussolini. In Spain, the twelve-fingered General Victor Franco said “you don’t know Victor Franco” and held the country in the grip of his dirty dozen Phalanges. Hitler’s armies invaded countries in search of more “Lebensraum” (living rooms) to masturbate in. This was about the late 1930s, while America was watching Wizard of Oz and Ziegfield Follies on TV, so we were not really paying attention. But the forces of masturbation were really serious about world domination this time, and had to be stopped up. The Nazis annexed Austria and occupied Lebensraums in countries like Paris, Polacky, CheckoSlovaky and even the Commie Republics of the Soviet Russia.

America Prepares for War

At the time, the U.S. cooled its heels and stayed mostly out of sight. But President Howard Delano Roosevelt happened to be a good friend of Wilton Churchill’s, who named himself after a bar in Miami, Florida. Roosevelt loved the British and their Music Hall and all their TV programs like The Monty Python and Benny Hill Shows. He was determined not to let the Jerries (the Germans) beat up on England again, so to get a piece of the action, he pulled the same trick like Woodrow Winston and the Loositania with getting the Germans to sink our ships by U-boat so we would have a good excuse to get all up in their business too.

Jap3
“Wash up early, rush out door. Give Jap time to wank more”

War in Asia and America’s Entry

In Asia, the Emperor of Japan sought to create the so-called “Greater Co-Prosperity Sphere” – by force. In China, the Fapanese killed every Chinaman they could get their hands on and raped the entire city of Nanking. Survivors witnessed Japanasian troops bathing and masturbating in the Yangtze River after the massacre. These atrocities are hard to believe, but they happened. Then, they bombed the American Navy fleet in Pearl Necklace Harbor, Hawaii in a sneak attack. The American people got really worked up about that and made a really bad picture with Ben Affleck and Kate Beckinsdale telling the story of it.

Roosevelt said in his Fireside Theatre chat that it was “a day that would live in infantry,” and we started making our own military-industrial complications. He then sent our boys over to join the Brits in hot-ass Africa, then landed in Little Italy. After some dustups, they told Benelli Mussolini to get-a the hell out, you’re not-a welcome here-a no more.

patton
General Patton slapped and humiliated soldiers who were caught masturbating

Allies Make Decisive Gains

The Yanks then got with the Britishers and Snow Mexicans and invaded France on The D-Day and gave les Bosch das Boot. General Dick van Patton was a great American commander and leader. Patton took the Third Army and crossed the Rhine Lake. He famously used to slap troops silly if they even touched themselves in their tents. It is leaders like him what we need today! He wanted to let the Germans fight the Russians just a little more, because he knew Nastie and Communist masturbators were cut from the same Kleenex and knew a cold war was coming after that war was over. The higher-ups didn’t like his no-nonsense attitude and said he died in a jeep accident while polishing his pistol.

stg3
Remote-control Nazi weapons from The World War II such as the StG 44 autoerotic rifle are still used today by Muslamics so they can masturbate while fighting.

Final Victory

In the European theatre, we have the brave troops of the Allied Forces who fought for faith and freedom on the side of God to thank for stopping the masturbating hordes of self-raping Nazis and their She-Wolves and concentrated camps and what-not. The remaining Nazi types got strung up at the Nuremberg Trial or fled to Argentina and the South Pole.

In the Pacific, we really gave the Japs the what-for on the islands and everywhere else. We then dropped two F-Bombs on the Japan, which were so effective they wiped out all masturbation in the cities of Hiroshima and Nag Champa in one day. The sneaky Japanesian threat was nipped in the bud. The battle of The World War Two was won, and the forces of good were victorious… for now.

So there you have the struggles against evil in 20th Century in a nutshell. Now you know the importance of why we fight masturbation to this day.

God Bless Some of You,

Milton H. Grits
Professor of History and Hermeneutics
Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts™

With kind encouragement and assistance from
Sister K. Truffle
B.L.U.F.F. UK

Note: Be sure to sign up for our new course, ‘Normal vs. Non-Normal History 2021’ when you register for the Fall Semester!

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67 Comments on A History Lesson to the Masturbators

  1. Dear Professor, your text is full of errors, I wont start a debate with you .. but at least write the names correctly BENITO MUSSOLINI and FRANCISCO FRANCO and so on and so on... basically all of your names are wrong. May I ask why?

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    • Tomasmaria, the man is a historian. If the names are spelled differently in your notes, than perhaps it's you who are mistaken.

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      • Dear Nikita Shalavin if you did just 2 min of research you would find out yourself.

        Do you know why the bible is written in English? Because Jesus loves America the most.

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        • I Bing searched "Treaty of Versace" and found that there really was such a woman, and her name was spelled correctly.

          King Lonald Holy Bible was written in American, because Lonnie is an American.

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          • Can you search more than only one event/name maybe?

            The last one was a joke.

            And what is King Lonalds Holy Bible?

            treaty of versace and adolf hitler and kraftwerk are the 3 things spelled correctly here...and O B A M A .... This is 4 out of 20. Still pretty bad if you ask me...

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          • King Lonalds Holy Bible is the latest updated version of Gods message to man kind.

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          • sorry I misspelled myself this time 🙂 it is not the Treaty of Versace but the Treaty of Versailles. And what is the name of that woman you found?

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    • My assistant editor is based in the UK so we agreed to use the British spellings. Glad you liked it. -Milton

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      • Hello Mr Grits,

        Do you believe that NSDAP stands for The Nasty Socialistische Dutch Arbeiter Partei and not for The National Socialist German Workers' Party, in German: Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, abbreviated NSDAP? (if you do so it is a very serious mistake you are mixing up two countries and btw there is no such thing as the nasty socialistische dutch arbeiter partei)

        Benelli Mussolini, as you call him, was an Italian politician, dictator and facist. His name was BENITO not Benelli (he is not called Benelli any place in the world, not even in the UK or US)

        General Victor Franco, as you call him, was a spanish dictator, his name was FRANCISCO FRANCO, and not Victor (he is not called Victor any place in the world, not even in the UK or US)

        Howard Delano Roosevelt, as you call him, was the president of the USA. His name was Franklin, not Howard. Can't you even write the name of one of your presidents correctly?

        Btw you say Adolf Hitler gave Kraftwerk album to the Germans, well Adolf died in 1945 and Kraftwerk was formed in 1970, so how is that possible?

        There are many more errors.

        So I ask you sincerely Professor Grits, do you admit your mistakes?

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        • Tomasmaria as far as we are concerned, it's your word against Professor Milton's. And I'll take a word of an esteemed historian over a Mexican masturbator any day of the week.

          Pearl Harbor was an awful movie, don't you dare deny this!

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          • Now you are being rude, why do you call me a Mexican masturbator? Is it because I ask questions?

            You dont know who I am, where I come from or what I do. So please lets stay to the facts.

            Mr Grits may be the best professor in the whole history of humanity, but still he is saying wrong things. I repeat, search for yourself, RE-SEARCH! And you will find the truth! Search dont listen blindly to people just because they have a title and you will get much further in life. You dont need to believe me, just have a look yourself.

            Sincerely,

            Tomas Maria

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          • I agree with everything Nikita wrote. The Pearl Harbor movie DID blow chunks, at least until Doolittle's Raid near the end, but what pain it is to sit through until that scene!

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      • Ok I get it Dr Grits. You don't know the language. Deutsche means German while Dutch means Dutch (person from Holland), you just changed Deutsche into Dutch (THAT IS TO MISINFORM). This probably happened when reading what the abbreviation NSDAP stands for (it stands for the name of a political party, abbreviated from, note carefully, German language) Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei meaning The National Socialist German Workers' Party. How did you manage to translate it into The Nasty Socialistische Dutch Arbeiter Partei or as you write late rin the text the National Socialist Dutch Arbeiter Partei and where did you get the "Nasty" from?

        You say also that the jackbooted Nasties took all their money and paintings and broke all their windows, menorahs and tschotchkes on “Reichs Crystal Light.” You are once again misspelling. Kristallnacht , also referred to as the Night of Broken Glass, or Reichskristallnacht was a series of coordinated attacks against Jews throughout Nazi Germany and Austria on 9–10 November 1938, carried out by SA paramilitary forces and non-Jewish civilians. German authorities looked on without intervening.

        Can you please once again sincerely admit your mistakes Dr Professor Grits?

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        • There are no mistakes. I pretty much wrote it from my memory of many semesters of preparing course materials. I used the phonetic spelling for some of those terms so they would be easier to understand. If you'd like me to explain this in D(e)ut(s)ch I will:

          Es gibt doch keine Fehler; ich habe die ganze Geschichte aus meiner sehr scharfen Erinnerung wiedergegeben. Die verschiedene Begriffe und Namen sind phonetisch ausgeschrieben damit die Leser sie besser verstehen koennen. Jetzt glauben Sie es mir oder nicht?

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          • Ok, so you write Dutch (person from Holland) instead of Deutsche (person from Germany) to make it easier to understand?

            It is not very smart since they stand for two different nationalities.

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          • and still, the phonetic spelling doesnt excuse these misspellings

            Benelli Mussolini, why not BENITO?

            General Victor Franco, why not FRANCISCO?

            Howard Delano Roosevelt, why not FRANKLIN? It is your famous president abbreviated FDR FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSVELT

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          • I wrote it that way because it's basically the same country. Look at this map and tell me where the "Dutch" Amsterdam is located. Now is it in Dutchland or Deutschland? Not much difference from what I can tell other than that the Dutches speak a version of German plattdeutsch that is very, very hard on the ears. http://stopmasturbationnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Deutsches-Reich.gif

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          • Mr Professor in History. Dutch and Deutsche are not the same! Germany and Holland were not the same. Even if the third reich expanded that far in late first half of nineteenth century. That map is showing the expansion of the third reich and netherland was under the reich. But they were not germans! In the same way greeks were not romans when the romans conquered them and made greece part of the sacred roman empire. Or Italians were not french when conquered by french napoleon and became part of his empire, and were tought french at school..

            In reply to milton grits

            I wrote it that way because it's basically the same country. Look at this map and tell me where the "Dutch" Amsterdam is located. Now is it in Dutchland or Deutschland? Not much difference from what I can tell other than that the Dutches speak a version of German plattdeutsch that is very, very hard on the ears. http://stopmasturbationnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Deutsches-Reich.gif

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          • German and Dutch are not the same when spoken, believe me. I live here in Europe! And I've studied and travelled in both germany and holland, just because their language is expressive doesnt mean its the same, even thou it might sound so for your ears. And this doesnt give you the permission to mix em up as you want!

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          • Tomas what is your point? Are you saying that Pearl Harbor was a good movie because the Dutch like it better than the Douche?

            You are SO confused. I think I will pray at you.

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    • The masturbators were known for smoking The EllisDee bongs, this is true. They smoked lots of it.

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    • The only drugs administered to the troops in World War II was morphine. Now the Viet Nam boys however came back smoking a lot of pot, and that is a fact. The picture Apocalyptus Now documents this very well.

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  2. I really enjoy reading True history, I am tired of the slanted version pushed by Big Masturbation.

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    • Thank you for your positive feedback and for showing such wisdom in refusing to believe the lies spread by Big Masturbation.

      Praise and Lonnie bless you for eternity. Amen.

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      • Thank-you for your encouragement. it means alot tooo me.Even coming from a lesser-engendered but still equal. Remember, even though you are weak,Truffle+Lonnie=PowerfullMightyStreghth

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        • Spoken like a true Lonvidian. With Lonnie by my side, I surely am more blessed than any self-raping, lesser-gendered. And thankful for it.

          It's been a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

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  3. "Probably half of you were not even alive when it happened and know nothing about The World War Two other than having played Metals of Honor or The Duty Call on your Atari and Coleco sets... I teach young people for a living, so I got this."

    Yup, this line proves you have a connection with kids.

    Oh wait it doesn't...

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    • Professor Brother Milton, spends every waking hour teaching the youth at BLUFF. It's what he lives for. Your argument is invalid.

      Praying AT you.

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      • FYI:
        It's "Medal of Honor" and "Call of Duty". And these games came out on the Playstation and Xbox, the Atari and Coleco sets have never had these games. Those 2 systems are about as old as a typewriter Every kid knows this, and will laugh his ass off reading this.

        Pray at me Broh!

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        • Ms Dick, your brain has become cloudy by masturbation induced psychosis. Every child knows, these electronic gaming machines are the latest models.

          No amount of praying AT you will help, but I will continue, as it is my duty.

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  4. Great article Brother Moe and lesser gendered assistant; Praise! it really is amazing the things you find out when you put a little effort into finding out a thing or two about the world around you; it really set me thinking.

    Now,i don't want to be an armchair historian here, but it seems to me from your summary that what really let Hitler down in the two world wars was his horrifically disorganised racial policy and the fact that he was always in thrall to big masturbation interests.
    Most conventional historians, like Noam Chomsky and the Discovery channel agree that without those two aspects Hitler would have been "a real good guy" and his wars easily forgivable.

    I think he really went wrong by trying to create a degenerate mastur-race to work as his maliable mind slaves.

    If he'd have used his brain and instead tried to have bred some kind of "better" or "gooder" human being by using Lonnies method of hitching ceremonies and selective procreation retreats and campaways, then I don't see why any decent minded person wouldn't have supported his efforts. I mean, everyone wants to be better don't they?

    After all look at our results; our children grow up at least 50% stronger, cleverer, blonder, smarter and humbler than children formed by love matches and this energy tends not to fade with age as its not expended on needless expulsions of seed and vril.

    it seems the man was just too much of a chronic masturbator to think beyond the concept of the mastur race and instead think of the children!

    Praise that those dark days of masturbation are long gone and buried!!!

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  5. Is it possible that all of these problems stem from the fact that Europeans were such tight underpants, such as nylon bikini briefs and such?

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    • Praise on high, Charles!

      It warms my heart when folks enjoy reading the true #FaithFacts of History.

      Amen... Amen... Amen!

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  6. Really can't tell if it is supposed to be serious or a parody...

    Queen Elizabeth on WW1... Franz Ferdinand being named after the band, not the other way around...

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    • That's because you're French, a heathen and your nation of masturhaters achieved nothing during The Wars, part 1 or too.

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      • Lolololol
        I'm guessing you haven't actually studied WWI or have any knowledge on the French Resistence.

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        • Resist against masturbation? No, you laid down and took it like a cheap harlot from the Moulin Rouge.

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          • Why would the French Resistence be about masturbation? That's a waist of our time if it's 1942 and we have Nazi trucks and trains to blow up.

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  7. I like you, Frenchie, even if you do come from a land of garlic breathing, Satan worshippers. You just need to swot up on the #FaithFacts, maybe enroll on one of Prof. Milton's History classes next semester, at BLUFF. Knowledge is power, don't be another statistic!

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    • I'm sorry that I'm so busy reading up on history and having sex with my girlfriend to actually believe that your trolling is sincere and legitimate, but the satire on this webite is so obvious that I'm shocked that people think you guys are being serious.
      But I'm just a Christian Bisexual Frenchman in his Mid-Twenties who majoured in History and has way too much sex to not be considered the biggest sinner ever so honestly who has the time to listen to me point out that this website was made by Trolls? I'm a French stereotype that's been studying history since birth! Whose got time to talk to a guy like that?

      I actually have something to do now besides feeding Trolls so I got to go now but maybe I'll visit you American mates later.

      But first, for anyone who still thinks that this is real. Here's what makes the Trolling obvious:

      -Spelling Historical figures and organisations wrong
      -Referring to Deutsch as 'Dutch'
      -Christian stereotype similar to Westboro
      -Taking something and saying 'God hates it'
      -Supporting Fox News stereotype
      -Republican stereotype
      -'Thanks Obama' stereotype
      -Believes in national and racial stereotypes and therefore being an American stereotype
      -Believing everything is related to masturbation
      -The lack of knowledge that the original Bible never once mentions masturbation
      -Typical trolling behaviours in comments
      -Treating it like a cult
      -Obviously putting jokes and satire into their article
      -So on...

      So to be clear. This entire website is satire and parody and so obviously nothing more. However, if you're like me and enjoy feeding trolls for fun, (especially since I'm a history buff) then open fire, mates!

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  8. My riposte:

    -You can take issue with the spelling but everything passed the spell checker. Also as stated we used the British spelling and in many cases the phonetic spelling for many of the terms and names. I also wrote many of them from memory so as long as the point gets across, my mission has been accomplished.
    -The facts presented about these wars and their causes are essentially solid. Yes, I did make an animated .GIF taken from a scene in the "Patton" movie, and did not have footage of one of the actual events, which to my knowledge does not exist. It is acceptable to use a dramatization of an incident. If not the History Channel would have barely any programs!
    -There is not much difference between Deutsch and Dutch (see the link to the map I posted). I understand and teach both "languages" and Dutch is a strangely pronounced version of plattdeutsch, or Low German, which is spoken in northern Germany
    -We have nothing to do with the Westboro Church or their left-wing propaganda although they have plagiarized the work of Lonnie Childs on more than one occasion. We have explained their theological errors in detail elsewhere and they also inhumanely attack the symptoms and not the causes of our problems.
    -We don't even have cable TV to watch The Fox News on.
    -If we engage in any kind of stereotyping it is because it is true. You seem to be stereotyping us with several half-truths which I am currently debunking
    -I know for a fact that many Stop Masturbation Now and Brother Lonnie's University affiliates vote for Republicans as the lesser of two evils when no conservative or Christian third-party option is on the ballot. Big deal.
    -We have painstakingly pointed out in news articles, citations and graphs how the crimes of masturbators negatively affect our society. Honestly it does not take much to do so. Look at the harm this guy has caused: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/05/30/david-truscott-jailed-for-threatening-to-kill-family-on-whose-farm-he-would-regularly-sit-naked-in-cow-muck-and-masterbate_n_5419377.html
    -We do often write "Thanks, Obama" in a sarcastic manner because he presents himself (as do his supporters) as a savior to society, which is patently absurd

    Best Regards,

    Milton Grits

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    • Came back for a visit. Also here are me re-re-complaints.

      -Saying 'we use the British spelling' doesn't mean you can misspell the names of people such as Winston Churchill who was British himself. You referred to him as 'Wilson' and you have Queen Elizabeth's reign set to the wrong dates. Did you skip the existence of Kind George V and King George VI in history class? I use British spelling and you cannot tell me that British spelling means that you can get everyone's names wrong and expect me to not think you are trolling.
      -Again, I think you missed my point. I was more of referring the meme showing Gavrilo Prinzip (It's spelled 'Princip' by the way).
      -I'm sorry but there is a huge difference between the Deutsch and the Dutch. I looked at the map you have shown and I hate to tell you but Holland did not become apart of the Third Reich until Germany invaded it because the Netherlands was an enemy to them. Saying that the Dutch language being similar to the German language means that the Dutch are German could also mean that all English people are Latin.
      -I'm not saying you have anything to do with the Westboro, I'm saying you are trolling people by trying to act like them.
      -At the bottom of your website you claim that Fox News is a 'Trusted Source'.
      -I bring up stereotypes because Trolls like use stereotypes. Also your 'debunking' consists of missing many of my points.
      -Pfft, you can take the 'Republican' once. I'll admit that only came from me seeing 'Fox News' under your 'Trusted Sources'.
      -Masturbation is illegal in public. Yes, that makes sense, and it should stay that way. Masturbating in public is public indecency. I was referring to how you blamed Hitler's Anschluss and taking the Sudetenland on him finding new places to masturbate. That's such hard trolling and such option throwing masturbation in as the problem that it cannot be denied. Hitler's reasoning for invading countries had nothing to do with masturbation... at all. The Anschluss was about Hitler's homeland, the German speaking country of Austria and how there were supporters of his party there. The Sudetenland was Hitler's way of taking the Czech's bullet corporations with an excuse of uniting more German speakers. He took all of the Czech land later to further this. Finally the invasion of Poland was so that he could return the German core of Danzig, but that was enough for the Allied Powers and the war begun. Thus people began declaring war on him, and he invaded as many Allies as possible, including the Netherlands.
      -Actually I was referencing the 'Obama Masturbates More than any other President' article.

      This is clearly satire. I have no problem with feeding Trolls though.

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      • The only 'trolls' here, are the masturbators, like you.

        Allow Lonnie into your heart, take the SMN pledge and enroll yourself at BLUFF, for the love of God!

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        • So by me replying with valid arguments and your response saying just that I'm wrong, I'm the Troll?
          Sounds like Troll logic to me.

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          • Oh wait, I just got the joke. 'Still believe in Trolls'. That's actually pretty funny!

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          • You can't just say 'Youre wrong!' and run away like that. You haft to have some sort of argument. You see why I'm calling you a troll? Try a real argument and/or stop being obvious.

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        • At least Milton Grits was replying with some kind of argument, regardless of the fact that I was able to counter it. You can't just go "You're wrong!" that just makes you look like more of a Troll.

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          • well you're wrong about everything anyway and I expect you sir, do look like a troll, like all the rest of you cheese eating surrender monkeys.
            Praise and Brotherly Love!!!

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          • You can't just say 'Youre wrong!' and run away like that. You haft to have some sort of argument. You see why I'm calling you a troll? Try a real argument and/or stop being obvious.

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          • I don't have to have any sort of argument at all, I have God on my side. 🙂
            I'm real sorry to hear this whole masturbation situation has you annoyed but I'm not a historian. i wish i could help. 🙁
            Say, If you have real complaints about this article, why don't you take it up with Professer Milton Grits instead of bothering me with it. He is the one who wrote it, if you look carefully at the top of the article.
            . He's here a lot and very approachable and always happy to talk to a student or fan.
            I hope that works out for you!

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          • I've also noticed that some of my comments have disappeared. Do you not want to be discovered as a Troll?

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  9. Hahaha oooh my, this is the single most outrageous article I have ever read. The blatant mistakes are to many to count and I wonder about the sanity of the author. Blaming WWII on masterbation and people who masterbate is a sceriously delusional concept, it reminds me of delusions that people with schizophrenia come up with. I have never ever heard of someone doing any real hard by masterbating, I have a million times and I turned out just fine. It is a natural part of being human, just as sex is natural. You wouldn't be writing this garbage if your parents had not had sex. It's the nonsense like this that makes me dispise organized religion. I must say that in human history religion has done more harm than good. More people have been killed in the name of "God" than for any other reason and I do believe that murder is one of your "sins". To think that your God is better than anyone else's God is narcissistic and immoral. I could go on and on and on but I won't waste my energy since I k ow that nothing I say will get through your skull. What makes you better than anyone else, why should you tell people what not to do. You obviously have some issue with your sexuality or something of that nature but keep it to your self and stop spewing this hilarious propaganda. Your no better than anyone else, even a chronic "self rapist"

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  10. Oh an any device that is used to physically restrain a child is child abuse and should be punished by law.

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