New Zealand, the World’s Self Rape Hell

New Zealand is a volcanic mass in the middle of the sea lying east of the Island nation of Austria. It has been proven that the earthquake and natural disasters which formed New Zealand were the point from which devils burst through the earth in the demonic ascension, one of Satanism’s blackest unholy days.

The Holy Bible contains countless references to this event. Ezekiel 16.3 speaks of “great rumblings of darkness where no souls care to tread” and the book of Lonvidicus describes of “those which thou better yet considered nay and herefore hath not been borne.” All this has now been confirmed. The earth was that of peace and blissful gardens of God’s creation until the day Satan tricked Eve. He had her tempt Adam using his appetite for her loins and fruits against him. Hell then broke loose. That very point where devils ejected Hell and burst out all over God’s Earth. That encouragement of seed spilling…is New Zealand.

Settled in Old Testament times by masturbating tribes of Maoyi people, or those adherent to chairman Mao’s style of communism. They used tactics like state run religious persuasion and penalty to persecute the people and enslave them in a masturbation bondage. At around 225 BC, their capital and most advanced civilization came to be the sprawling city of Masturbania

Recently completed B.L.U.F.F. excavations sponsored by the Foundation for a Better Tomorrow have unearthed disturbing FaithFacts about the Maoyi culture, who by the 5th century, became known as the Mao-Yang. They craved vegetables and cattle stock grown and grazed on nutrient-rich soil made disturbingly moist by hell’s fire. In fact, those pagans believed the hell fire rock to be perfect to cook on and use in a strange “pulling” ritual. They became a race of sodomites and, some argue, the first socialists.

So forsaken was the devil cursed hamlet of New Zealand that the first Caucasians to visit and conquer New Zealand were the lazy Dutch. England, France, and Spain passed on New Zealand. Even the Germans could not drum up the nationalistic will to dominate New Zealand.

The Dutch were not all that amazed to discover the natives in ceremonial circle jerks around lava beds near the core of the island. They eventually succeeded in trampling the Maomao under their jacked boots. The Dutch settlers were themselves escaping crackdowns on masturbation at home, but they found the island self rapers to be an easy conquest. The spoils came to be known as New Zealand. One may exercise self rape with a renewed zeal, or New Zealand. All this happened in the 16th century.

The Maoist tribes were not technically advanced in warfare, preferring a good choke to a fight. Where else would lonely masturbator people live but in a forgotten land all tucked away where no one can see? The resulting inbreed of white masturbators and theses Maoians created a mixed masturbation hell race.

Today, morality rates from respiratory illness and heart disease in New Zealand are higher than any red meat devouring nation on earth. The constant dust in the air, a mixture of fumes, hellish volcano ash, and masturbation residues, is a concern.

Thanks to all of you for the kind donations which provided facial coverings and masks for the B.L.U.F.F. Scientists who dug through the most hell cursed point on Earth.

New Zealand leads the world in those doomed for their devotion to Satan’s will. Masturbation and homogay lifestyles are not only allowed, but encouraged in the schools and entertainment culture that they wish to export to the rest of the world. Parents are advised to monitor their offspring for media material on Doomed New Zealand. Confiscate their Tiger Beat and Creem Magazines if you see write-ups and pictures of Mel Gibson or any of those alternative fluff-heads inside.

Praise Lonnie.