Once again, fall is approaching. As a husband and as a father, you may hear rumblings about a “Sweet Sixteen” celebration. Below are a few ideas that are sure to make your sixteen-year-old, same-race wife very happy.
1. Tell her that she can decide what’s for dinner on her big day. Make sure she knows that this is HER DAY and she can cook you WHATEVER SHE WANTS (within reason of course).
2. Allow her to find a babysitter for her two young children. If there is ever a time for her to take a break from being a mother, this is it.
3. Encourage her to make an announcement on Facebook, that she is 16, during her supervised computer time. Her approved friends will make sure to congratulate her.
4. Have her lay a wreath next to the “Beyond World” wall, while praying at all the masturbators outside the compound, who have given themselves the bad AIDS while masturbating with dirty hands.
5. Have her bring a nice hot meal for any sister-wives of hers that may be locked-up in the menstrual hut.
6. Most importantly, make sure to buy her a nice gift. Not only is this her “Sweet Sixteen” birthday, it’s also your two-year anniversary.
If you are afflicted with the Latino genes, you will need to get a head-start on this, as your wife may be expecting a “quinceanera” celebration on her 15th birthday. If so, the above recommendations will still apply, but make sure the babysitter knows to expect three children instead of two.