Brother Lonnie Announces He Forgives Native American Teepee Indians

White Americans must forgive savages for being selfish with their land

Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs has long been a pioneer in race relations through his compassionate programs to institute White privilege for all through prayer and free skin bleaching procedures.  As such Brother Lonnie has seen a disturbing rise of intolerance that he has decided to combat.  With recent efforts by intolerant White LIEberals to erase Teepee Indians from our culture by renaming the Washington Redskins, Brother Lonnie has decided it is time for America to own up to it’s treatment of our red skinned brothers and sisters and has announced that he as a White American male forgives the savages for being selfish with their land and not wanting to share with the White man.  For far too long White Americans have held onto the grudge against the Teepee Indians for being so selfish but Brother Lonnie with his enlightened belief system feels it is time to let go of our rightful anger and finally forgive the Teepee Indians.  We as a nation will be better off for it and since making his announcement, hundreds of letters have poured in from grateful savages wishing to apologize in person and take the STOP Masturbation NOW pledge of self-celibacy.

The full text of Brother Lonnie’s statement below.

“My fellow White Americans…as much as it pains me to say this, our country has committed some sins and one of our greatest sins is against the savage Teepee Indians.  All decent White Americans wanted was to share this great land with the red man, but selfishly they wanted keep the White race out of their hippie compounds which were rife with masturbation, hemp bonging and the worship of false Gods.  The Teepee Indians fought hard to keep White Americans out and killed many women and children while doing so.  Understandably we have since held a grudge against the savages that has poisoned our soul as a nation.  However when I saw White LIEberals attempting to rename the Washington Redskins in an effort to erase the Teepee Indians from our superior culture I knew I must lead the way to understanding between our people.  So I would like to take this time to announce that I, Lonald “Lonnie” Childs as a White American Male forgive the Teepee Indians for being selfish with their land and their racist attitudes towards the White man.  Let the healing begin.

God bless some of you.

Lonald “Lonnie” Childs

About Carlos Danger 18 Articles

Staunch anti-masturbation Christian soldier and former lifelong Echo & the Bunnymen fan until I learned the dangers of secular music. Brother Lonnie saved me from a life of homoerotic servitude in which I was paid with food items from McDonald’s value menu. I co-founded Christians Overcoming Carnal Knowledge (or COCK) to help former homogays test their firm commitment to a heterosexual lifestyle. I enjoy Gladiator movies, Top Gun and Christian fellowship with Latino men.

38 Comments on Brother Lonnie Announces He Forgives Native American Teepee Indians

  1. I had to get a contractor to remove their skeletons from the building plot I bought to build my house,these savages refused to remove them themselves,sacred burial ground indeed just another way to con decent Americans out of money…but I forgive them.

  2. I’ve never heard of them before. They’re certainly not mentioned in the King Lonald Holy Bible. I know it is not right for a lesser gendered to question anything, so I will just assume they are some kind of mix breed species that waltzed in over the boarder.

        • I don’t flirt with idiots, and I’m not gay, I’m a guy married to a women, but does it really matter? And you’re calling my kids non normal because my wife’s Hispanic and I’m Caucasian?

          • LIES! If you procreate with a non-normal, your offspring will be non-normal. Its called biology. We can offer them complementary skin bleaching treatments with our very own, Brother Nikita aka The Holy Sexologist.

          • Well aren’t, you racist, and how do you know I’m “non-normal” I have no birth defects, mental issues, me, my wife, and my kids are 100 % healthy, so how are we non-normal?

  3. Dr. Childs proves once again that he is the beacon of white, blinding light and purity that can guide us through the darkness that has been created by the unholy trinity of Barack Obama, Kim Jong-Un and whoever leads ISIS this week. The simple fact that he is the first decent white American to forgive the original American wilderness people for their sins just goes to show you how pious of a man he is.

  4. Really. As a half native man, I have to say the truth. We were willing to share the land. Build a house here, build a house there, sure. But, you colonists took your rifles, and shot innocent men, women, children, and animals. You were killing the people and the enviroment. I support the changing of the name, and I’m not a libral! This is because “redskin” is a racist name. It is an insult. It is not to preserve native american culture in Amerikkka. That is like calling a black man “Jim crow” or “Negro”. You were civilized? We did not kill innocents. Well we didn’t, until we wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine. You also force your religion on us. So, white man, keep you forgiveness. To learn about your barbarism, watch Shubel Morgan on youtube. Ecpecially Final Solution and Kkkolumbus day. And This land is your land (not). Good day Nazis.

    • I can’t say that I feel the same way as my mother’s ancestors were colonists, but I will say, I don’t like that they did that, if I discovered intelligent life, I wouldn’t destroy it, I would ally with it. The colonists were horrible

    • No, the Native Americans migrated here millions of years ago from an old land bridge connecting Russia to America, which disappeared.

  5. I love this website. It makes me laugh at how idiotic some people are in this world. Sometimes though, with racist articles like this, I get really pissed off. Teepee Indians!? I dare anyone to call a Native American that to their face. Why this faux article is even on a anti-masturbation website is beyond comprehension. Anyone who takes this site seriously should seek mental help.

  6. “White American male forgives the savages for being selfish with their land and not wanting to share with the White man”
    When it comes to extreme statements such as these, you really can’t tell whether somebody is joking or is actually serious.

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