I Was Self-Raped

One Saved Normal's chilling tale of redemption.

(SMNN)

The sad fact of the matter is, no one asks to be self-raped. You don’t wake up in the morning, and say “Hey, maybe I’ll violate myself today, that’d be great.” Self-rape happens. Here we have the chilling confession of a self-rape survivor, who wished to remain anonymous.

“I was self-raped. I was self-raped, and through Lonnie Child’s Redemption, I was saved, but that’s not what I want to talk about, I want to relate the graphic detail of just how terrible this was, and how my life started a downward spiral into oblivion.

It was the Summer of 1991, and I was a young lad, doing whatever it was people did in 1991, which was probably rad scooter tricks, or BMX skateboards, or maybe Super Genesis games on the Atari, anyways, I was minding my own business. Then out of nowhere my attacker cornered me. I was reading the Caldors circular and a bra add in black and white, showing many tantalizing mammaries. That’s when I noticed my attackers turgid attitudes. I tried to resist, but his tumescence had grown out of control, and he decided to attack myself. I wept in shame as I let myself over come me, powerless in my efforts to fight myself off of myself. I sat there, violated, and filthy in my own shame, as my attacker laughed at me, smug in his wickedness.

The next day I started smoking a potweed and I found myself obsessed with my own male member, thus making me obviously self-gay. I immediately left for the degenerate filth-state of California, where I became a homeless. I supported myself by giving handy-J’s to whoever wanted one for money to bang the pots. I became riddled with diseases

Then, a virile and glorious man, who had come to town because of talk of 154-ounce steak, found me huddled in a gutter, drinking a Surge, and dying. He reached out his hand, and lifted me up. Then, for 10 days and 10 nights he sternly reformed me, and Normalized me entirely with his teachings and stern physical discipline. It wasn’t easy, or even pleasant, but nothing that truly matters ever is. I’d let him rain his Golden Shower of Faith and Love down upon me again, if need be.

I could have died, and I surely would’ve got the Hells for sure, but I was saved. I can only hope the masturbators wise up, and accept Jesus and Lonnie deep inside of themselves, and become as full of faith and love as I am today. Praise. “

About Thomas Kelly 62 Articles

Thomas Kelly, SMN Faithscience Editor, is the Dean of several B.L.U.F.F’s, as well as the preeminent authority on Faithscience. In addition these lofty titles, he is also a powerful wizard, and holds over fifty non-secular PHDs.

49 Comments on I Was Self-Raped

  1. God, i love to fuck myself every day. I love masturbation. I find great new porn to jack my dick to every motherfucking day. Its great. There are many great pornsites out there. The possibilites are endless. So many erotic choices such as orgy, ganbang, lesbian, threesome, anal, you get the picture. Its just so great to be given this kind of freedom

      • At least he has one and isn’t mentally challenged like some people (Lonnie Childs, Cassidy Pen, Ken Day, Bruce Danus, Truffle, everyone in BLUFF compound.

          • I do have hobbies, it’s called making rockets for NASA, go-karting, caring for my kids, playing video games, I have more too.

          • Racism, sexism, and plain out homophobia. This is the 21st century not the middle ages. CATCH UP. We have proven that masturbation CAN NOT make you sick, blind, or grow hair on your hands. If so most people would be blind very sick and Very very hairy… so just give me 5 UNBIASED. reasons why it’s unhealthy…. has to be unbiased and not theories or whatever you talk about.

          • DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE DEFINITION OF RAPE?!?!? let me tell you……

            _________________________________________________________
            Rape
            noun
            1.
            unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.
            2.
            statutory rape.
            3.
            an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation:
            the rape of the countryside.
            4.
            Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
            verb (used with object), raped, raping.
            5.
            to commit the crime of rape on (a person).
            6.
            to plunder (a place); despoil.
            7.
            to seize, take, or carry off by force.
            verb (used without object), raped, raping.
            8.
            to commit rape.
            _________________________________________________________

            Under any of these definitions does This so called “Self rape” Go under this Rape Is Without consent…. If you do it to yourself you give yourself consent…. you CAN NOT rape your self. It is simply impossible.. plain as that….

  2. My favorite thing besides masturbating, is jackin it to gay porn, chokin my chicken to other guys chokin their chickens just really gets me going

  3. This article is bullshit I “self rape” everyday and I’m perfectly healthy, this has to be a troll article because you can’t be seriouse saying the next day I started smoking a pot leaf and found myself obssesed with the male race ” yet you just jacked off yesterday about a bra ad” but I really hope people like this just realize how ignorant they are I am a zen Buddhist and I support good hearted Christians like the pope not these ignorant Americans who think they can stop something with lies.

    • I really hope that you repent from your false saviour and find your way into our loving herd. In the meantime, stop raping yourself – you will see how good it is for your mind when you don´t destroy your brain cells for a change!
      Praise the Lord.

  4. i swear to god . . yes that’s right to god. . . the fools that made this pathetic excuse for a website are the reason the world id such a messed up place. if idiots like this weren’t running around spreading their stupidity the world would be a far better place. self-rape? really? get a life. grow up. admit to yourself that the earth is round and delete this useless site.

  5. Omfg you guys are so fucking stupid. GOD DOESN’T EXIST
    SELF RAPE ISN’T A THING I CAN’T EVEN. THIS LITERALLY MAKES ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF. AND I WONT GO TO HELL FOR IT BECAUSE HELL DOESN’T EXIST. YOU PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING STUPID. BUT YOU’RE TOO STUPID TO EVEN CARE SO THERE IS LITERALLY NO POINT IN ME DOING THIS,. BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD TO POINT OUT ALL OF YOUR BULLSHIT. SELF-RAPE?!?!?!? ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO RUIN THE WORLD. AND THIS IS DUMB. ALL THE THINGS ABOUT THIS DETERIORATING BRAIN CELLS ISN’T TRUE. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE CAN BE SO DUMB. YOU ALSO SAY THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE GAY ARE GOING TO HELL AND OTHER STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS. PEOPLE CAN’T GET MARRIED BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID FUCKING MADE UP BOOK.

  6. this is a waste of a fucking website. are you fucking shitting me rn? the fact that you people actually believe in this utter bullshit is beyond me. self-rape? homo gays? you need to fucking realize that GOD DOESNT FUCKING EXIST. ITS A LIE. WELL DONE. PAT YOURSELF ON THE FUCKING BACK FOR FALLING INTO A TRAP OF LIES. think about it. when god does good stuff you guys are all like “PRAISE THE LORD YAAAS HALLELUJAH” but when he does bad stuff youre like “god works in mysterious ways…..” LIKE WTF PEOPKE ARE DYING BECAUSE OF RELIGION. RELIGION IS THE CAUSE OF MOST WARS, DRUG CARTELS, HONOR RAPE, AND THE SYSTEMATIC FUCKING OF CHILDREN. HELLO NEWS FLASH YOUR LIFE IS A FUCKING LIE. YOURE ALL LIKE 1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!!!!!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!!1 MAYBE GOD WILL GIVE ME A RAISE 1!1!1!!1!1!11!!1! NO YOU WOULD GET A RAISE IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY FUCKING EDUCATED AND WERE GOOD AT YOUR JOB. MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY WENT TO WORK INSTEAD OF PREACHING TO SKY TO TRY AND GET THINGS FROM SOMEONE THAT DOESNT EXIST. THE WEALTHIEST AND THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE ATHEISTS AND IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THAT THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY AND GET YOUR MAGICAL WIZARD THAT DOESNT EXIST TO SRIKE ME WITH LIGHTNING THANK YOU VERY MUCH OK BYE :):):):):):):)):):):):):);):)

  7. I’M PISSED OFF BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP UGGGHH GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS I GUESS MAYBE ONE DAY HE WILL BRING ME MY CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP :3

  8. OH YES OF COURSE THERES LIKE POPPING AND SORT OF CHOCKING SOUNDS GOING ON THE IN THE BACKGROUND TOO. THERES ALSO A SLIGHT WHISPER SAYING ” OH GOD HELP ME ” BUT IT SEEMS TO BE COVERED UP BY SOMETHING I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S JUST THE NOODLE SOUP COOKING

    • OH YEAH I AM SURE ITS JUST THE NOODLE SOUP COOKING SO YOU WILL GET IT SOON MAYBE HE WONT PUT IN THE BLACK JAM NOW , HE MIGHT WANT THE BJ WHEN HE GIVES YOU THE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP HAHA IF HE IS SAYING “OH GOD HELP ME” I DONT KNOW HOW THAT IS BECAUSE HE IS GOD SO HE WILL HAVE TO HELP HIMSELF HAHA

  9. OOOOH SO DOES THAT MEAN I SHOULD GIVE HIM THE BJ BEFORE HE GIVES ME THE NOODLE SOUP OR ARGUE AND FORCE HIM TO GIVE ME THE NOODLE SOUP BEFORE I GIVE HIM THE BJ? WELL IF GOD CAN’T HELP HIMSELF THEN WHO CAN :O ?

  10. WELL IF YOU GIVE HIM THE BJ BEFORE HE GIVES YOU THE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP HE MIGHT RUN AWAY WITHOUT GIVING YOU THE SOUP LIKE HE WOULD USE YOU JUST TO GET SOME BLACK JAM SO I SAY YOU SHOULD GET HIM TO GIVE YOU THE NOODLE SOUP FIRST THEN GIVE HIM THE BJ :3 EXACTLY WHO WOULD HELP HIM IF GOD CANT HELP HIMSELF

  11. Self rape seems more like someone with multi personalities, and one or more of them are present at the same time. One wants to rub one out, the other doesnt. Bam! Self Rape, Better call the cops so this person can do proper time in the slammer. To be self gay is kinda like buffalo bill, I mean he would fuck himself so hard.

    On another note I do believe at the end of this article you were actually beaten and raped by another person. You may want to contact the police before they do it to another.

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