Brother Lonnie Childs is seeking damages after the heathens at HBO have reportedly bastardized a “reenactment” of a private Lonvidian custom in their hit series Game of Thrones. The episode in question, the “season finale” of Season 5, entitled ‘Mother’s Mercy’, features a scene with the character Cersei that would hit too close to come to any devout follower of Brother Lonnie.
“None of us have seen it,” explains Brother Foster Good. “The Brothers we task with scouring ‘popular culture’ for legal violations could not get the HBO video services to work on the world wide web access we have here at Safford.” Brother Good says that several of the brothers took to the popular Bing™ internet search service to learn about the current season of Game of Thrones.
“The ‘walk of shame’ that the character Cersei must do is almost an exact recreation of a long-standing Lonvidian custom that the Brothers do when the lesser gendered members of our alternative religious organization fail to meet their obligations to their spouses or Brother Lonnie Childs, himself,” says Brother Good. “Brother Lonnie was whipped up into such a rage after learning of HBO’s theft of our culture, that we were worried that some non-normals had entered the campound. Thankfully, in a way, it was just His reaction to masturbation culture taking something noble and twisting it into masturbation fodder.”
Brother Good claims that the custom being stolen by Game of Thrones is the practice called “The Shaming”.
“We force lesser gendereds to do ‘The Shaming’ when we’ve caught them slipping on their vows. However, unlike the sick masturbators at HBO, we do not make the lesser gendereds strip nude,” adds Brother Good. “We take them fully clothed into greater Safford, Arizona and follow them around shouting “Shame” over and over again while the disgusting citizens of Safford throw fecal matter at the lesser gendered, expose themselves to her and typically masturbate wildly in front of her.”
Brother Good purports that ‘The Shaming’ works “nearly every time” and reminds the “lesser gendered that they are reducing themselves to the level of a masturbating beast and that is not tolerated by Brother Lonnie”.
“‘The Shaming’ is a private custom and we feel that a writer for the series must have been in Safford, Arizona during one of the events; likely throwing their own feces at one of our lesser gendereds,” concludes Brother Good. “Brother Lonnie is seeking to have the show removed from the air entirely for their numerous transgressions and feels that we finally have the leverage in order to do so.”
HBO has yet to respond to any of my emails asking for their response to Brother Lonnie’s allegations.