Lonnie Childs To Sue HBO Over ‘Game Of Thrones’ Scene

The episode "Mother's Mercy" depicts an inappropriate reenactment of a Lonvidian custom

The only known authorized photo of 'The Shaming'

Brother Lonnie Childs is seeking damages after the heathens at HBO have reportedly bastardized a “reenactment” of a private Lonvidian custom in their hit series Game of Thrones. The episode in question, the “season finale” of Season 5, entitled ‘Mother’s Mercy’, features a scene with the character Cersei that would hit too close to come to any devout follower of Brother Lonnie.

“None of us have seen it,” explains Brother Foster Good. “The Brothers we task with scouring ‘popular culture’ for legal violations could not get the HBO video services to work on the world wide web access we have here at Safford.” Brother Good says that several of the brothers took to the popular Bing™ internet search service to learn about the current season of Game of Thrones.

Game of Thrones character Cersei Lannister
Game of Thrones character Cersei Lannister

“The ‘walk of shame’ that the character Cersei must do is almost an exact recreation of a long-standing Lonvidian custom that the Brothers do when the lesser gendered members of our alternative religious organization fail to meet their obligations to their spouses or Brother Lonnie Childs, himself,” says Brother Good. “Brother Lonnie was whipped up into such a rage after learning of HBO’s theft of our culture, that we were worried that some non-normals had entered the campound. Thankfully, in a way, it was just His reaction to masturbation culture taking something noble and twisting it into masturbation fodder.”

Brother Good claims that the custom being stolen by Game of Thrones is the practice called “The Shaming”.

“We force lesser gendereds to do ‘The Shaming’ when we’ve caught them slipping on their vows. However, unlike the sick masturbators at HBO, we do not make the lesser gendereds strip nude,” adds Brother Good. “We take them fully clothed into greater Safford, Arizona and follow them around shouting “Shame” over and over again while the disgusting citizens of Safford throw fecal matter at the lesser gendered, expose themselves to her and typically masturbate wildly in front of her.”

Brother Good purports that ‘The Shaming’ works “nearly every time” and reminds the “lesser gendered that they are reducing themselves to the level of a masturbating beast and that is not tolerated by Brother Lonnie”.

“‘The Shaming’ is a private custom and we feel that a writer for the series must have been in Safford, Arizona during one of the events; likely throwing their own feces at one of our lesser gendereds,” concludes Brother Good. “Brother Lonnie is seeking to have the show removed from the air entirely for their numerous transgressions and feels that we finally have the leverage in order to do so.”

HBO has yet to respond to any of my emails asking for their response to Brother Lonnie’s allegations.

About Cathy Redmond 104 Articles
Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.

13 Comments on Lonnie Childs To Sue HBO Over ‘Game Of Thrones’ Scene

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E90i6IOvQOs
    You think your life’s so grand
    You don’t believe a word you say
    Your feet aren’t on the ground
    You let your life just slip away
    Just so uncertain of your body and your soul
    The promises you make, your mind so blank
    And then you lose control, then you lose control!

    I never was the one, the one to say the things you say
    Never seem to wonder what you say
    You think you’ve got your life completely in control
    You’ve got a lot to learn,
    The bridge you burn is gonna take its toll!!!
    Pay the burnt bridge toll!!!

    So practice what you preach!
    Practice what you preach!
    Practice what you preach!
    Practice what you preach!
    Practice what you preach!

    You think your life’s so grand
    You don’t believe a word you say
    Your feet aren’t on the ground
    You let your life just slip away
    Just so uncertain of your body and your soul
    The promises you make, your mind so blank
    And then you lose control, then you lose control!

    Pay the burnt bridge toll, then you lose control
    Pay the burnt bridge toll, so practice what you preach

    So practice what you preach!
    Practice what you preach!
    Practice what you preach!

    • Thanks for your words of wisdom to all of the masturbators out there, Cliff. I think most of them already practice what they preach though (masturbation).


    • I did some research on this Satanic band Testament. Their lead singer is some fat Injun called Chuck Berry. Injuns should not sing in bands. They should shut up, stay in their reservations/casinos and be thankful to Godly white Christian men that they are even allowed to stay in the USA.

        • Iron Maiden wouldn’t approve either:


          I would like to sincerely apologize on behalf of Mr. Baggins over there. He is a corrupted hobbit, who still clings staunchly to the old, draconian ways. He smokes tea leaves, so his mind is not where it is supposed to be. Frodo regards him as that “crazy uncle I wish not to speak of”.

          Here, have more rear-kicking Heavy Metal:

  2. “Jesus Of Suburbia”

    [Part 1]

    I’m the son of rage and love
    The Jesus of Suburbia
    From the bible of none of the above
    On a steady diet of
    Soda pop and Ritalin
    No one ever died for my sins in hell
    As far as I can tell
    At least the ones I got away with

    And there’s nothing wrong with me
    This is how I’m supposed to be
    In a land of make believe
    That don’t believe in me

    Get my television fix
    Sitting on my crucifix
    The living room or my private womb
    While the Mom’s and Brad’s are away
    To fall in love and fall in debt
    To alcohol and cigarettes
    And Mary Jane
    To keep me insane,
    Doing someone else’s cocaine

    And there’s nothing wrong with me
    This is how I’m supposed to be
    In a land of make believe
    That don’t believe in me

    [Part 2: City Of The Damned]

    At the center of the Earth
    In the parking lot
    Of the 7-11 where I was taught
    The motto was just a lie
    It says home is where your heart is
    But what a shame
    ‘Cause everyone’s heart
    Doesn’t beat the same
    It’s beating out of time

    City of the dead
    At the end of another lost highway
    Signs misleading to nowhere
    City of the damned
    Lost children with dirty faces today
    No one really seems to care

    I read the graffiti
    In the bathroom stall
    Like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
    And so it seemed to confess
    It didn’t say much
    But it only confirmed that
    The center of the earth
    Is the end of the world
    And I could really care less

    City of the dead
    At the end of another lost highway
    Signs misleading to nowhere
    City of the damned
    Lost children with dirty faces today
    No one really seems to care

    [Part 3: I Don’t Care]

    I don’t care if you don’t
    I don’t care if you don’t
    I don’t care if you don’t care

    I don’t care

    Everyone is so full of shit
    Born and raised by hypocrites
    Hearts recycled but never saved
    From the cradle to the grave
    We are the kids of war and peace
    From Anaheim to the middle east
    We are the stories and disciples
    Of the Jesus of suburbia

    Land of make believe
    And it don’t believe in me
    Land of make believe
    And it don’t believe
    And I don’t care!
    I don’t care! [4x]

    [Part 4: Dearly Beloved]

    Dearly beloved are you listening?
    I can’t remember a word that you were saying
    Are we demented or am I disturbed?
    The space that’s in between insane and insecure

    Oh, therapy, can you please fill the void?
    Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed?
    Nobody’s perfect and I stand accused
    For lack of a better word, and that’s my best excuse

    [Part 5: Tales Of Another Broken Home]

    To live and not to breathe
    Is to die in tragedy
    To run, to run away
    To find what you believe

    And I leave behind
    This hurricane of fucking lies

    I lost my faith to this
    This town that don’t exist
    So I run, I run away
    To the lights of masochists

    And I leave behind
    This hurricane of fucking lies
    And I walked this line
    A million and one fucking times
    But not this time

    I don’t feel any shame, I won’t apologize
    When there ain’t nowhere you can go
    Running away from pain when you’ve been victimized
    Tales from another broken home

    You’re leaving…
    You’re leaving…
    You’re leaving…
    Ah you’re leaving home…

  3. Did I catch a masterbater? ou’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

    You and the stranger both like roleplay.

    You: Hi

    Stranger: dude here

    You: 23 F Russia

    Stranger: oh hi! Lou here, 29

    You: Nice

    Stranger: what,s your name, love?

    You: Eriska

    Stranger: Sexy!

    You: Thank you

    You: This is me by the way http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p544/toto242/2011-6-11.jpg

    Stranger: oh thank you I was gonna ask, just a sec

    Stranger: wow, you’re really pretty

    You: Thank you

    Stranger: i’ll send you one…what do you want to see?

    You: I don’t really care to see a picture

    Stranger: oh ok

    Stranger: I’m 6′, short blondish hair, blue-green eyes, slim, somewhat athletic, facial hair…anything else?

    You: Well, if you want to do a sexual roleplay, I have a scenario prepared.

    Stranger: 🙂

    Stranger: yeah go ahead!

    You: I wake up one morning and find myself extremely horny. I hadn’t been fucked in a while and I decide to do something about it. I drive to a public area and lay down a mat. I place a sign that says ” Free fuck!” near me, hide my clothes, and I lay naked on the mat like I lay in this picture. (http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p544/toto242/IMG103.jpg) Also, your starting role is as a mean cop. (Be very mean, rough, and have the “I’m getting what I want” mentality for the character)

    Stranger: haha ok!

    Stranger: (you’re fucking hot by the way)

    You: (Thank you)

    Stranger: I am doing my run on the public beach. A few people here and there, nothing much going on, just beating a kid who was smoking pot. Then I see that girl. Naked with a sign saying ”Fuck me”

    Stranger: I walk to her ”Is that some sort of joke, citizen?”

    You: “No it isn’t, officer.” I reply

    Stranger: ”And you think I’ll let you do that on my beach?”

    You: “How is it your beach?”

    Stranger: ”Cause that’s the way it is” An erection gorws in my pants as I look at you ”So you want to be fucked, is that right?”

    You: “Yes” I reply

    Stranger: ”Well you’ll be fucked alright” I get on my knees and make you turn on your stomache

    You: “Good”

    Stranger: I slap your ass real hard and bring two fingers in your sandy pussy

    You: My back arches in pain. (I don’t have any sand on me as I was laying on a mat.)

    Stranger: (oh yeah sorry)

    Stranger: (who took that picture by the way?)

    You: (My boyfriend)

    Stranger: (cool)

    Stranger: I finger fuck your pussy, some people walking and wondering what’s going on

    Stranger: I slide a third finger in, grabbing your hair with the other one ”You like that, you lil scum?”

    You: “Um, yes.” I say not pleased with being called names.

    You: (As note, I don’t orgasm in my roleplays)

    Stranger: (I do)

    You: (As is expected of you)

    Stranger: (do you masturbate though?)

    You: (Yes)

    Stranger: (nice)

    Stranger: I let go of your pussy and unzip my pants, taking my cock out of them. ”Give that a taste!”

    You: “What do you mean?” I ask as I continue to lay on my stomach

    Stranger: I Kneel in front of you and grab your hair to lift your head to my cock ”Suck it!”

    You: “But I don’t want to!” I say as I turn my head.

    Stranger: I reach a han to your boobs and squeeze a nipple really hard ”But you will!”

    Stranger: hand*

    You: “Ow! Ow! Okay!” I say in response.

    Stranger: ”And make it sexy!” I say, loosening my grip on your hair and tit

    You: I start to suck your dick.

    Stranger: I moan quietly, undoing my cop shirt as I’m getting really hot

    Stranger: (you don’t care to see it?)

    You: (No)

    Stranger: (kay, if you have any other sexy pic, feel free…)

    You: http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p544/toto242/IMG81.jpg

    Stranger: I make your head move, pushing my cock deep in your mouth

    Stranger: (oh yeah!)

    Stranger: ”Make yourself wet and ready for my cock!”

    You: I reach back and rub my pussy

    Stranger: ”faster!”

    You: I suck your dick faster.

    Stranger: ‘,Do I make you wet?”

    You: “Sucking dick isn’t a turn-on.” I reply

    Stranger: ”You don’t diserve a turn on. Hands on that tree, now!” i say pushing you

    You: I get up and stand against the tree with my hands on it.

    Stranger: (When you said that cop is my starting role, did you mean you wanted mor people to get in?)

    You: (I meant that when the cop is done with me, you can choose a new role. Just make sure that it follows the same rules.

    You: )

    Stranger: I stand behind you, my pants to my knees. I spread your legs with my baton and bring the head of my cock to your clit

    You: I push back to press your dick into me.

    Stranger: I push myself into you, grabbing your neck real hard as i do

    You: “Take your hands off my neck!” I yell

    Stranger: I push all 7 inches all at once in your tight pussy ”You shut up!” I only grab the back part of your neck, taking a frim grip

    Stranger: firm

    You: “Erm, okay?” I say nervously.

    Stranger: ”You only speak to tell me how my much you love my cock” I say starting to fuck your pussy real hard

    You: “Yes sir.” I say quietly

    Stranger: I let my hands run on your body, roughly and careless ”You’re one hot pieces of ass”

    Stranger: piece*

    You: “Thank you, officer”

    Stranger: I slap your ass real hard ”So how do you that?” I fuck faster

    Stranger: how do you like that?*

    You: “Not much” I say as I rub the sore spot.

    Stranger: ”Well that’s what you get for fucking around on my beach” I fuck faster and pull off, jerking a few times to cum on your ass

    Stranger: I was walking on the beach, enjoy the heat of the day when I saw something incredible. A cop cuming on a nude girls ass

    You: (Continue)

    Stranger: The cop gives the girl a baton hit on her side, before he leaves her there screaming ”And don’t I see you again on my beach…”

    Stranger: I run to her and kneel to her ”Hey are you okay?”

    You: “Yes, who are you?”

    Stranger: I’m wearing a bathing suit, my hair messed up ”Just a dude walking on the beach…?”

    Stranger: ”Did he rape you?”

    You: “No

    You: ”

    Stranger: I see the sign ”What’s going on?” I say looking at your naked body, a bit nervous

    You: “What does it looks like?” (Remember the mean and roughness rules.)

    Stranger: (oh that was a rule…ok)

    Stranger: (did you like the last fuck?)

    You: (Yes)

    Stranger: (did you make yourself cum?)

    You: (Yes)

    Stranger: (I did too…hey you’re hot, d’you have yahoo messenger?)

    You: I have a gmail. Can we keep going with this roleplay?)

    Stranger: (yeah, it’s just that i,ll have to go soon…and I want you later…we’ll do my scenario)

    Stranger: As I understand what,s going on, I look at your breasts. I smile. I bring your hand on my dick that,s still soft

    You: I start to jack it off.

    Stranger: I take off my bathing suit, my dick growing in your hand

    You: (Continue)

    Stranger: I slap your face ”You like that?”

    You: “Ow!” I rub my face in shock and ask, “What was that for?!”

    Stranger: I grab your ass and make you lay on your back

    Stranger: ”Just for fun!”

    You: “Wasn’t very fun on my end.” I say.

    You: http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p544/toto242/IMG107-4.jpg

    Stranger: I slap you again, not so hard, bringing my dick on your clitoris as you keep jacking it ”was on mine”

    You: I glare at you.

    Stranger: (you just made me hard again)

    Stranger: I rub my dick on your wet clit

    Stranger: close to cuming

    Stranger: I push it inside once and come back to your clit

    Stranger: I pinch your nipple

    You: “Don’t tease me.” I command

    Stranger: I slap you again ”I’ll fuck you the way I want”

    Stranger: I push it back inside giving you a few thrusts

    You: I moan softly

    Stranger: I pinch your nipple harder, puling on it

    You: My face has an expression of extreme displeasure on it.

    Stranger: I pull my cock out and slap it a few times on your wet clit

    Stranger: ”You want it in the ass, don’t you?”

    You: “No, God no” I reply

    Stranger: I slide my wet cock down and spread your butt

    You: I kick you off of me.

    Stranger: I grab your legs and and make you spread again ”Don’t make it harder on yourself

    Stranger: (fuck I really got to go, can we share email?)

    You: (You’ll have to have some authority to fuck my ass)

    You: (eriskahottie@gmail.com)

    Stranger: okay, and a last pic before I go?

    Stranger: REDACTED

    You: http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p544/toto242/IMG5-1.jpg

    Stranger: (nice!)

    Stranger: I bring my hard cock back in your pussy and fuck you hard

    You: “Good boy” I say

    Stranger: ”D’you want my sperm in you or on you?”

    You: “On”

    Stranger: I fuck you faster, slapping your ass here and there

    Stranger: ”ah”

    Stranger: ”Fuck yeah” My cock starts pumping in your wet pussy

    You: I relax and start to moan

    Stranger: I control myself as I hear you moan. I grunt loudly not to cum

    You: (Continue)

    Stranger: I fuck faster and faster, feeling your drip on my balls

    Stranger: I bring my hand on your clit, rubbing it hard

    Stranger: ”Ah, fuck!”

    Stranger: My cock starts pumping again

    Stranger: My body crisps

    You: “Are you alright?” I ask

    You: (Be right back)

    Stranger: I push a last time in the bottom of your pussy

    Stranger: then pull out, sperm coming out of my cock

    Stranger: landing on your pale skin

    Stranger: some of it lands on your face

    Stranger: (really got to go!)

    Stranger: please right me when you’re online…tomorrow around the same time or a bit later I should be on, I have a 8 hours bus ride to do, maybe you can entertain me

    Stranger: (bye)

    You: (Okay)

    • Leave it to a masturbator to share their detailed forays into deviancy on a completely unrelated article.

      We’re all praying at you, Bill.

      The time you spent “sexting” with this robot could have been used showing devotion to the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, or supporting your favorite of the Republican candidates for the 2016 election. It would have been time well spent in either of those cases.

      But, like most masturbators, you spend your life tuning your sin stick and allowing your precious time on Earth to tick away with each wasted stroke. I hope you enjoy eternity in Double Hell. Praise.

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