New Female Masturbation Solution

Brother Lonnie’s Anti-Masturbation Research and Development team has recently completed work on one of their most ambitious projects to date; a contraption that serves as a solution to the female masturbation problem. The new product, dubbed the “Sin Cave Stopper®” by Brother Lonnie, himself, has reached the final testing stages and should be released to the general public shortly.

Lead Engineer on the “Sin Cave Stopper®” project, Raymond P. Ellis, explains the faith technology and how it works, “Project “Lesser Gendered No-Go” (the production name for this amazing new product) works by simply plugging up the genital area of women who don’t have the will power to refrain from giving into Satan’s urges. The ‘Stopper’ is a rubberized plastic inverse cup that the female shoves into her genital area and it creates a tight seal inside the cavern. Not only does this serve as a way to trap all of the devil’s moisture before it can cause a problem; it also block all foreign object entry to further stimulate the female genitalia in unacceptable ways. Notably, it will keep unauthorized penises, sexual toy devices and wood carved into phallic shapes from being used in unapproved ways.”

Ellis thinks that, “He (Brother Lonnie) will make certain that all lesser-gendereds at His various campounds are outfitted with this new apparatus immediately.” There will also, “be a version marketed to those outside the campound” as Ellis explains, “Market tests have proven that men around the world have had enough of the disgusting female masturbation problem and are excited to finally be able to do something about it.” The faith products division of BLUFF hopes to have this item on store shelves by “Spring 2015” citing that “by Spring is essential as the masturbation rates skyrocket once the weather heats up”.

The retail version of Brother Lonnie’s “Sin Cave Stopper®” . Available soon from Brother Lonnie’s site and fine religious outlet stores across America.