SAFFORD- ARIZONA (SMNNN)
In a revelation, His Resplendence Saint Lonnie Childs has decreed motor scooters to be the most Holy of all motorcycles.
Brother Lonnie stated that he was visited by a beautiful seraphim, which along with granting Brother Lonnie The Secret of The Universe, also decreed scooters to be superior to all other forms of motorcycle.
” And then the angel of the Lords flew me back from the Endless Tom Collins Fountains of the Celestial Country Club, and she was radiant. She lifted me in her arms, and spoke to my soul, and said, ‘ Lonald, The Lords think scooters are the bee’s knees. Go forth and decree them Holiest of Holy motorcycles, for they are not masturbatory. Great is the faith, and strong are the morals of the scooter motorcyclist, for they sit inside the frame in piety. As the heathen straddles the frame of the Harley Davidson and begets sin and disgrace, so the scooter motorcyclist begets glory and life everlasting in the kingdom of Eternal Normals.’
Then we went to Sizzler. Man angels are cool! Praise! “
-St Lonald C. Childs III, SMN Exalted Leader!
As such, non-scooter motorcycles are to be disposed of in the B.L.U.F.F Burning Circle. B.L.U.F.F staff and faculty members that ride scooters have been granted a 700% pay increase.