Lonnie Childs received great news over the weekend when the Graham County Juvenile Detention Center in Safford, Arizona delivered the results of a three-month study on the effectiveness of the Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket®. According to spokesman Dennis E. Cross of the GCJDC, “We found Mr. Childs’s jackets were of great benefit to our juvenile detention officers. Our staff found a staggering 100% reduction in sexual misconduct amongst our youth detainees that were kept in the jackets. One can’t argue with those types of results.”
According to Mr. Cross, the Graham County JDC will sign an exclusive contract with Lonnie Childs to provide the detention center with “more jackets and other restraint systems for alternative uses”. When pressed for more information, Mr. Cross declined to state what other faith products that they plan to incorporate at their center.
Brother Hunter Runyon, speaking on behalf of Brother Lonnie Childs, shared the enthusiasm on theGCJDC’s test, “This is great news as it validates Brother Lonnie’s mission!”. Brother Runyon added that, “We’re going to have extend the working hours as it will be tough for the children to make enoughstrait jackets to keep up with this new demand.” As of press time, all of Brother Lonnie’s faith restraint products are still hand-made by children workers at the Safford, Arizonacampound.
“We were more than willing to help out a local businessman like Mr. Childs,” explained Cross. “The local law has its differences with their group for a while now. But, after looking at Mr. Childs’s aims and goals, we found them surprisingly similar to what local law enforcement is also hoping to achieve.” Mr. Cross also mentioned that his superiors have reached out to the Graham County Sheriff’s Department to hopefully convince them to use more of Brother Lonnie’s tactics in the jails and adult centers they oversee. “The reduction in masturbation amongst inmates of all ages is a big concern in Graham County” said Cross. “While always a problem with adult inmates, masturbation in the sexually charged 9 – 17 year olds we house here has been a huge concern. Thanks to these methods, we hope to maintain a 0% masturbation level in our facility.”
Brother Runyon doesn’t anticipate any delays on shipments to private customers who have purchased faith products from Stop Masturbation Now. “We’ll just cut down on breaks, meals and if needed combine prayer classes into the work periods for the children on the assembly lines,” explained Runyon.