The Self-Rape Salute: PresiDON’T Obama Disgraces His Office Yet Again

Barack Hussein Obama, our first Muslim President, has disgraced the office of POTUS time and again during the six long years we’ve had to endure him. Bowing to foreign dignitaries, playing golf, wearing the wrong color, being the wrong color — there’s just nothing this arrogant, godless man won’t do to mock Americans on the world stage. But this time, he’s gone too far.

Seen here in this video brazenly posted on social media by White House staff, the PresiDON’T is seen offering up a half-hearted, homogay salute to two Marines.

Doubtless, he was preoccupied with thoughts of his golf swing and airstrikes on the bad ISIS. And he has made no secret of his disdain for the white man and our military in the past, so we might not expect him to return the respect offered him by these fine young Caucasian males.

We at STOP Masturbation NOW Ministries, however, can see through to the root of the problem. When you have completed Lonnie Child’s How To Spot a Masturbator Home DVD Course, this one’s almost too easy. Obama is coming off the heels of a masturbation all-nighter and is too fatigued to hold his hand at attention (this explains why he is drinking coffee). He can’t even look these upstanding normals in the eye, shame-filled and soul-sapped as he is after the vain depletion of his seed several times in one evening.

Masturbation poisons everything, including the God-appointed throne of the American presidency. Shame on you, Mr. PresiDON’T. Your limp-wristed “Self-Rape Salute” is a mockery to the anti-masturbation values this nation was founded upon. May Lonnie have mercy on your soul.

About Dr. Cornelius Felcher 11 Articles
Dr. Cornelius Felcher, J.O. is the chief medical correspondent for Stop Masturbation NOW Ministries. Dr. Felcher specializes in Preventative Masturbatory Medicine. His motto is, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of sperm." He has been called the Mehmet Oz of masturbation, the Sanjay Gupta of self-rape, the Drew Pinsky of diddling, the Joseph Mercola of jacking off. Dr. Felcher earned his online degree in Biblical Biology from Brother Lonnie's University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.), a WASP-accredited reactionary arts college in Safford, Arizona. He is a fully licensed and certified GP (Godly Practitioner) with additional training in TCM (Traditional Christian Medicine), homogayopathy, supernaturopathic medicine, sackupuncture, and various other forms of Sinless Christian Alternative Medicine (SCAM).

8 Comments on The Self-Rape Salute: PresiDON’T Obama Disgraces His Office Yet Again

    • Oh Lonnie ive been thinking. I would like to join your campound.. I can supply beer and weed, and you can supply campound hookers (fluffle and cathy). We can all join sin sticks under the moonlite Autumn skys and engage in a communal circle jerk. We can all get legless over a few beers and watch sister cathy, and fluffle scissor fuck each other. It would be such a magical experience for the entire lonald family if we all reached climax with each other. .. we can smoke some weed too it makes the feeling 100 times better.

        • Just doing my civil duty. I dont understand why they are so against masturbating, I masturbate-religiously… im a good person.. im a good citizen, I pay my taxes, I recycle and I masturbate. .. and im proud of it. And later im going to masturbate over lonnie and there is nothing he can do about it.

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