Thou Shall Make NFL Sunday a Holy Day

A Reading from the Book of Hostess

Oh, righteous of women, serve your man the brewed
nectar of grain and hops for with he shall enjoy
the nfl action.

Make not appearances without a scrumptious snack or
beverage in silent servitude, for the action is intense
and worthy of thy male eyes.

Forthwith, during halftime, pleasure thou mate on
thy knees with vigor, for 14 minutes shall pass
in quickening.

Place a steak meal in a tv tray before thy mate upon
the final whistle, for it is honorable.

About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O'Reily "No-Spin" Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.
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