WASHINGTON, D.C., AMERICA — (SMNNN) The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) sued popular wireless carrier, T-Mobile USA Inc. today, accusing T-Mobile of billing their users for hundreds of millions of dollars in “false” charges on their bills. According to the FTC, the vast majority of the charges were in the form of a monthly “morality fee” of $9.99 levied on all users who accessed pornography sites via the T-Mobile network.
T-Mobile called the FTC’s suit “immoral” and “the typical cronyism we’ve come to expect from the Federal Government lately”. T-Mobile stopped short of defining the “cronyism” as Big Masturbation pulling the FTC’s strings; but all Lonvidians know what is being implied in their statement.
The FTC’s complaint alleges that a massive amount of masturbating T-Mobile users tried to call and complain about the “morality fees” but their complaints fell on deaf ears. “It’s wrong for a company like T-Mobile to profit from scams against its customers when there were clear warning signs the charges it was imposing were fraudlent,” FTC Chairwoman Edith Ramirez said. “The FTC’s goals is ensure that our special interests are satisfied so that is why are pursuing this case against T-Mobile.”
While this pending lawsuit could potentially damage T-Mobile’s bottom line, there is a potential light at the end of the tunnel for the wireless carrier. Their “morality fee” imposed on masturbators caught the attention of the Stop Masturbation Now movement.
Brother Bert Chandler, Communications Liason for Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (Safford, AZ), had this to say, “After seeing T-Mobile USA Inc. take this stand against filth and corruption, we are imploring all Lonvidians who require wireless communicators to switch their services to T-Mobile. While charging filthy masturbators a $10 fee is a step in the right direction, we hope that by supporting T-Mobile in this trying time we can make sweeping changes in the telecommunications industry. Big Masturbation may have their filthy tentacles wrapped around the FTC, but we can still make a difference. Praise.”
Cathy Redmond, reporting for StopMasturbationNow.org.