Is Obama Secretly Married to Satan?

satanicsatan(Stop Masturbation NOW)— Obama, probably the most controversial and nefarious creature in history has mysteriously risen to the presidency of the United States of America even without being a US citizen or even showing any love for America or its state religion. Some would say he is the antichrist, some would say he is Satan. But those are both male traits and Obama is obviously a homogay and the effeminate and weak partner. This leaves only one conclusion, that he is Satan’s bride.

Let’s look at the facts. Liberals love interracial and interspecies couplings. Liberals love perversions. Liberals love homogay marriage. Liberals love anything that isn’t normal and based on American Family Values. So what would Liberals love more than a interracial man involved in a homosexual relationship with a non-human demon Lucifer? The answer is nothing, this is the dream of every liberal.

Proud Americans, it is time to take a stand now. Reject the Satan-Obama marriage, say no to homosexuality, perversions, interracial marriage, woman’s suffrage, and socialism. Say yes instead to America and family Values!.

Thank you

Lonnie Childs.

About Lonnie Childs 39 Articles
Hello, my name is Lonald "Lonnie" Childs and I am the founder and president of the STOP Masturbation NOW anti-masturbation movement. Please visit my Facebook page here, and my unaccredited institution of higher learning here,
Contact: Website

44 Comments on Is Obama Secretly Married to Satan?

    • You have so little actual knowledge about the world that it would take an actual god and his miracles to make you understand how dense you are.

        • That wasn’t even a valid point, you’ve proved nothing. And since when does god tall about Obama? You just believe what others tell you at face value and do no actual research on the topic. So brainwashed.

          • brainwashed? sure. im proud to have washed my brain in lonnies golden shower of love. it made my brain clean and white and American. praise!

  1. This has to be the most stupidest thing I have ever read I don’t know if its a joke or what but I laughed pretty hard along with the anti masturbation cross like wtf is wrong with people like what’s wrong with masturbating? and homogay? Satans bride? Too all their own opinion but I definitely don’t agree.

      • Way to go after someone’s grammar in lieu of actually having any real points to back you up. Typical religious folks. Lol

        • Real points to back me up? I pointed out your attrocious grammar, which is My point. Consider it backed up. Praise! You’re right though – talking more smarter isn’t not importanter. Its only a primary form of communication.

          • I wasn’t even the one who originally posted, so it wasn’t MY ‘atrocious grammar’ lol. And if you thinking picking someone’s sentence apart is a good enough rebuttal to what the person was actually saying (and is still 100% readable and comprehensible) then I would love to see you in a court trial.

  2. This site has got to be a joke… Right? Everything I have seen on here is so unbelievably immoral and wrong. There is nothing Christ like about any of this. I’m so horrified.

    • Christ was anti-masturbation- so are we. We are the beacon of morality in an unsaved world- we follow the true teachings.

      • Calling us ‘unsaved’ because we do something that nature has given us is just too silly. Especially when these ‘teachings’ come from a book with no author and less citable sources than a Tolkien novel.

  3. It’s so sad how gullible people on the internet are. I’m going to go jerk it to take my mind off of the sheer stupidity of the people that take this seriously when it is quite obviously a comedy writer. Calling Obama a non-U.S. citizen in 2014 is so ludicrous I can’t even dignify it with an insult.

  4. I knew this guy was bad news when he told all the homeless people to ask for change. Now everywhere I go, some deadbeat is asking me for my spare change.

    • So what if something terrible were to happen to your job/company, and you were forced into homelessness? This comment is so uneducated and ignorant for someone claiming to listen to god, it’s just unbelievable. Way to take the Jesus route here! I’m sure he would tell you to ignore the homeless and tell you that anyone without a job is just a deadbeat. Hope you never lose yours, or Jesus will hate you!


      • First of all, I can’t become homeless because I don’t masturbate. Secondly, instead of giving them money that will be spent on Ellis Dee or pot bong injections, I offer them counseling by telling them to, “Get a Job!”
        So don’t tell my I’m out of touch with humanity. The only thing I’m out of touch with is my pee-pee.

        • Do you actually, honestly believe that being homeless is correlated to masturbating? That right there is just… so, so saddening to hear. And saying “get a job” to someone who may have been shit on by the system is literally the least Christ-like thing I’ve ever heard.

          You will surely go to hell for thinking that way.

          • 100% of homeless people masturbate. That’s a fact! If this country wasn’t full of pussies like you, we could have ended this plague back in the Reagan years.

  5. Wow. After reading through this page. I have lost all hope in humanity. I myself am NOT a obama fan, but this is just stupid. This page and its “followers” should find a nice big cliff and talk a walk off the edge.

  6. I don’t have a problem of people believing in a religion. But when I see this kind of stuff to do with religion I honestly wonder if some of you people have a brain.

  7. I just discovered this site and what a score! Funniest shit I’ve seen in ages, will be sharing with friends!

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