Self-Purity: The Newest Teenage Fad?

"Self-Celibacy is Cool!" - Lonnie Childs

It seems like every generation is more confused than the generation before it. In the 50’s it was “cool” to wear poodle skirts and comb your hair. In the 60’s, it was “hip” to dress like a homeless person and avoid soapy water while the sexual revolution introduced masturbation into the known world. The 70’s had everyone dancing to Freddie Mercury, lead singer of the Village People, while having sex in the YMCA. The 80’s gave us the first unscrambled pornographics channel on basic cable known as MTV. Today’s generation is picking fights with the Neighborhood Watch patrol and chanting Christmas slogans like “Black Friday Matters.”

Since the 1950s, the nation has been spiraling down the path of hedonism. Each decade, as masturbation becomes less taboo, teenage pregnancy rises and HIV-AIDS keeps spreading. If you were wondering which new teenage trend would come along and turn things around you may be seeing it now.

The Self-Abstinence Purity Pledge, or “SAPP” as the cool-kids call it, is an oath that young people are now taking that pledges a life of self-celibacy. The teenager in question pledges to avoid masturbation at all costs. The parents of said teenager also pledge to protect their teenage child from masturbation as well. Sometimes rings are exchanged which symbolizes the commitment made by all.

The SAPP pledge is hot right now in the states of Utah and Arizona, along with most of the bible-belt states. Even savage countries like Canada and England, where large populations of American descendants live, are seeing their young people take the SAPP pledge. Is this a fad or is the SAPP pledge here to stay? Only time will tell.

About Liam McKey 44 Articles
Liam McKey is a former combat veteran and owner of the only Vegan-Certified ranch in the United States. He has two normal teenage children with his same-race wife. Liam is active in the community of Safford, Arizona where he lives. Mr. McKey is an expert on teenage masturbation addiction and has many degrees from various non-accredited faith-based colleges.
Contact: Website

10 Comments on Self-Purity: The Newest Teenage Fad?

  1. Thank you for the astute and informative article, Brother Liam. Time will only tell if this fad catches on or becomes stamped out by the heathens from Big Masturbation and Hollywood.

  2. I just found this website now and I honestly can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. Either way it’s pretty hilarious.

  3. There’s no bible belt states and guess what self purity isn’t a teen fad now, I’m a teen, and I would know, going to a public school and being on the football team, I would, this article is all wrong, teens don’t give a flying damn if they masturbate or not, hell they do worst things for crying out loud, but some of these things I shouldn’t mention because some Christian moron will think otherwise, please get modern and realize that masturbation is here to stay forever

  4. And also look at the bio about the author, it says non-accredited faith based colleges so they aren’t even accredited schools, my gosh, these people are so dumb

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