It is a well-known fact that all successful school policies found in secular higher-education institutions come from religious schools. This has never been truer than now, as California Governor Jerry Brown signed into law the “Affirmative Consent” bill.
This new law eliminates the implied consent that was in-place previously. The excuses of “she never said no” or “he never stopped me” is no longer justified as consent within the California university system.
Instead, California law now requires BOTH parties to verbally consent to sex. This policy has been in-effect at the Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts*, since its founding. During that time, B.L.U.F.F. has never had a reported case of sexual assault. The school’s founder, Lonnie Childs, has lobbied various state education departments to enact the same laws on their campuses as are present at B.L.U.F.F.
In this bold step towards providing a more secure campus for all, the only sexual activity that is permissible is between two people who consent beyond a reasonable doubt. Without two consenting people, all sexual activity (such as masturbation) is now illegal.
As we all know, it is impossible for a single individual to obtain the consent of two people. This renders all forms of masturbation illegal and school officials are now required to investigate and prosecute all forms of same-person sex. This law also makes it a crime to expose yourself to someone without the consent of both parties.
*Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts is a for-profit, non-accredited institution of higher learning. All rights reserved.