Just one look at this netsite’s “Masturhaters” gallery or even just a quick glance at the comments on any given article show that there is an increasing problem with masturbators using the anonymity of the internet to spew hatred towards the followers of Lonnie Childs.
Thankfully, this will soon end as several conservative lawmakers have drafted a bill now weaving its way through the U.S. political system that would make such “hate speech” directed towards religious groups a violation of the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act. The bill, H.R. 3635, otherwise known as the Safe and Secure Federal Websites Act of 2013, now features a rider to further protect all faith-based netsites using the .org top-level domain from receiving hate speech comments and messages. H.R. 3635, introduced by Republican Representative Kerry Bentivolio, has currently been sent to committee.
The passage of this bill into law will allow the owners of certain family oriented netsites, like this very netsite, to report hate speech comments and messages to the Department of Homeland Security. Due to the “surveillance state” ushered in by the Obama Administration, the NSA will instantly know the domestic terrorist that send the message or comment and dispatch takedown teams to drag them off to Guantanamo Bay. While it would seem unlikely that the President would sign a bill that would help the Anti-Masturbation movement, the fact that savvy House Republicans got the rider attached to an essential security bill like H.R. 3635 will leave Obama little choice but to sign off on it. The Senate, led by staunch Faith and Family Values warrior, Senator August Weisz, will likely pass this bill immediately.
The Hate Speech Bill is unique insofar that first time offenders get treated the same as repeat offenders; a non-stop trip to a secret detention center. So, masturhaters, you’d better think twice before telling Lonnie to “Go F&^#” himself or calling him “racist” or any other number of “Trigger Words” that the DHS and NSA will be prowling this netsite, and others, for.