Yo Quiero, TX — Security agents from Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) have been sent to patrol the border and deal with a dangerous faction of illegal immigrants.
The announcement comes at a time when US Border Patrol Agents report an increase in masturbation terrorists crossing into the United States from Mexico. These particular cells are under orders to infiltrate American Society and promote a masturbatory lifestyle, polluting the minds and backsides of normal skin-toned children.
The specific group, Latino Self-Rapists Dedicated to the Destruction of Goodness, or LSDDOG, has grown in prevalence throughout the non-normal areas of world. Their La Raza view opposing American normalcy is a clear and present threat to law-abiding folk.
Having thrown up their collective hands at the failures of the US Border Patrol to stop this insurgency, the Eldership of B.L.U.F.F. has ordered security deployed to the border. Their task will be discovering illegal entrants to the US and holding suspects in custody until they can be turned over to proper deportation authorities.
“B.L.U.F.F. is dedicated to fighting the influence of Big Masturbation on society,” said Tom Downey, spokesperson for B.L.U.F.F. “We must make a dent in the plague of Big Masturbation because normal American culture is at high risk.”