In a shocking display of unprofessionalism, liberal House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, chased Republican Tom Marino across the House floor during a recent debate. Pelosi, allegedly offended by statements Marino made about her party’s lack of leadership lashed out at Marino, asserting that she did try to do something about the border issue while the liberals had majority control and that his statement was not true. “Yes it is true,” Marino replied directly to Pelosi. “I did the research on it. You might want to try it. You might want to try it, Madam Leader. Do the research on it. Do the research. I did it. That’s one thing that you don’t do.”
After Marino’s statements were met with thunderous applause, Pelosi snapped and ran at Marino, allegedly threatening him and pointing her finger at him aggressively. As Marino then tried to leave, Pelosi continued to follow him and several House Republicans had to step between Pelosi and Marino to get her to back down. After Friday’s outburst, there was much speculation as to the cause of Pelosi’s outburst. Is she overworked? Is she just stressed out? However, sources have leaked out the true cause of this Pelosi outburst and the cause of the many future outbursts we fear are to come.
As our confidential source close to Washington explains, “Nancy Pelosi is a hopeless masturbation addict. When she doesn’t get her ‘fix’, she goes into a nearly uncontrollable rage. The Democrats can typically keep her in line by allowing her time off to go masturbate when she’s showing signs of withdrawal. However late nights on the House floor, like last Friday, don’t always give her the ability to sneak away and do the deed. We saw the sad consequences of her affliction directed at the undeserving Rep. Tom Marino.”
It is quite common for habitual masturbators to fly into an uncontrolled rage for no reason as they fall deeper into their addiction. Apparently the rich and politically powerful are not exempt from being seduced by the masturbator lifestyle as evidenced not only by Pelosi, but the growing number of confirmed masturbators in sports and entertainment.
“I’m sure we’ll see this again before too long,” added our source. “With people like our current President in power, someone like Pelosi is not only surrounded by enablers, but also by fellow addicts. It’s really a shame. Pelosi claimed that Mr. Marino issued an apology, but, his chief of staff confirmed that he issued no such apology and would not issue one. Such delusions in the mind of the addict are unfortunately quite common.”