Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

Pelosi

In a shocking display of unprofessionalism, liberal House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, chased Republican Tom Marino across the House floor during a recent debate. Pelosi, allegedly offended by statements Marino made about her party’s lack of leadership lashed out at Marino, asserting that she did try to do something about the border issue while the liberals had majority control and that his statement was not true. “Yes it is true,” Marino replied directly to Pelosi. “I did the research on it. You might want to try it. You might want to try it, Madam Leader. Do the research on it. Do the research. I did it. That’s one thing that you don’t do.”

Tom Marino
An American who was just trying to do his job. Bless him. (source – Wikipedia)

After Marino’s statements were met with thunderous applause, Pelosi snapped and ran at Marino, allegedly threatening him and pointing her finger at him aggressively. As Marino then tried to leave, Pelosi continued to follow him and several House Republicans had to step between Pelosi and Marino to get her to back down. After Friday’s outburst, there was much speculation as to the cause of Pelosi’s outburst. Is she overworked? Is she just stressed out? However, sources have leaked out the true cause of this Pelosi outburst and the cause of the many future outbursts we fear are to come.

As our confidential source close to Washington explains, “Nancy Pelosi is a hopeless masturbation addict. When she doesn’t get her ‘fix’, she goes into a nearly uncontrollable rage. The Democrats can typically keep her in line by allowing her time off to go masturbate when she’s showing signs of withdrawal. However late nights on the House floor, like last Friday, don’t always give her the ability to sneak away and do the deed. We saw the sad consequences of her affliction directed at the undeserving Rep. Tom Marino.”

It is quite common for habitual masturbators to fly into an uncontrolled rage for no reason as they fall deeper into their addiction. Apparently the rich and politically powerful are not exempt from being seduced by the masturbator lifestyle as evidenced not only by Pelosi, but the growing number of confirmed masturbators in sports and entertainment.

“I’m sure we’ll see this again before too long,” added our source. “With people like our current President in power, someone like Pelosi is not only surrounded by enablers, but also by fellow addicts. It’s really a shame. Pelosi claimed that Mr. Marino issued an apology, but, his chief of staff confirmed that he issued no such apology and would not issue one. Such delusions in the mind of the addict are unfortunately quite common.”

About Cathy Redmond 104 Articles

Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.

14 Comments on Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

    • Alas, Foxy Follower, we do not get The Fox News at the campound as we do not have The Cable Television. But we have heard they have some good stories on there and we can always check their netsite during Internet time.

  1. I’m with Rev. Richard Tuggins and the good sister Connie Ling-Huis. What kind of shameless, Godless whore (Pelosi) would ever speak so spirited against a man? Its too bad Marino just didn’t reach out and slap the piss out of her there & then. And if the rest of the husbands in America would just do the same & start teaching their worthless heathen wives, half of whom are closeted diesel dykes anyway about Jesus’ love for them what a wonderful world indeed.
    ~
    By now we’ve all heard about how white people will be the minority sometime in the future in the U.S. The explanation is white women aren’t having babies these days. (Now you know the Catholics were right.)
    ~
    Contraceptives are the work of dark forces. Those condom companies are run by slaves who bow before their lord & master Satan. But the worst of them are the mouthy ones who spew their sick liberal garbage at everyone. These are truly the most repugnant, vile and hated creatures on the planet… the hippie-Democrat.
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    These twisted folks suffer from a cornucopia of different mental illnesses and already being severely mentally challenged anyway most are worthless & too stupid to live. If only white American women had just stuck to God’s plan of being faithful housewives, mothers and quietly went about doing their husband’s bidding we’d have plenty of white babies.
    ~
    Instead in a few years white America will witness their own extinction. What a bunch of selfish whores!

  2. *PS… I forgot to mention the hippie-Democrats bow before Satan like the slaves who work at contraceptive companies. Both recognize Lucifer as their wicked master, but its the hippie-Democrats who take it one step further. They bow before Satan and take worship on their hands & knees at the sphincter of Obama. Image that in your heads for a good minute.

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