BREAKING NEWS: BLUFF Discovers Cure for Ebola Virus

BLUFF Holy Water cures Ebola Virus

HomoGay Conversion Therapist Nikita Shalavin curing Ebola Viris Sufferers.

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins

SAFFORD, AZ (BLUFF Press, LLC) BLUFF Sexologist and lead HomoGay™ Conversion Therapist Nikita Shalavin has stumbled upon a cure for the Bad Ebola Zaire Virus using FiathFact™ proven methods that also cure HomoGayness™, The Bad AIDS, and Mental Retards.  Ebola virus disease (EVD) or Ebola hemorrhagic fever (EHF) is the human disease caused by the Ebola virus and causes those afflicted with it to die from organ failure and bleeding to death from all bodily orifices.  The Ebola virus was discovered in Zaire, Spear Mexico around the Ebola River Basin in 1939 by Missionary Lonnie “Lonald” Childs while during his missionary position there as lead BLUFF Anti-Masturbation Liaison to the UN. The honorable Reverend Doctor Lonnie Childs Esquire discovered that the virus only infected the Non-Normal Masturbation races, also that the Normal Non-Masturbation races have a natural immunity to the virus. Until today there was no known cure for Ebola, and the best prevention to catching the Bad Ebola virus is to Stop Masturbating Now.

The Cure is Discovered

Dr. Nikita Shalavin accidentally stumbled upon his cure while converting a a group of HomoGay™ masturbaters into Normals, he noticed that several of them were infected with The Bad Ebola virus before the holy conversion baptism immersion therapy in the Gila Rive.     Shalavin notes”(They) were not only cured of the HomoGay™ but their Bad Ebola Virus had been miraculously converted to The Good Ebola”  through my immersion therapy in the Holy Gila River. 

 

Brother Nikita emerging from the Holy Gila River after another successful HomoGay Conversion Baptism
Brother Nikita emerging from the Holy Gila River after another successful HomoGay Conversion Baptism

“I now have The Good Ebola”

Former HomoGay™ Masturbater & The Bad Ebola sufferer, Oliver Gentry, lamented; “I used to be a heavy masturbater and was arrested for inviting underage boys to my Start Masturbating Now events on Facebook, ever since my HomoGay™ conversion therapy I no longer suffer from masturbation palsy, satirical blindness, and I now have The Good Ebola.”

Oliver Gentry Cured
From HomoGay masturbater to man of Lonnie.

He goes on the say; “Since Nikita turned my life around, I have started a new venture where I take young pubescent boys into the wilderness and teach them to be ‘Macho Macho Man’ and no longer lead circle jerks for teen boys.”

Macho Mach Man Camp
Oliver’s Macho Macho Man wilderness experience for young boys.

 

BLUFF Holy Water Cure being flown to CDC

BLUFF Elders are en route to the CDC in Atlanta to share this miraculous cure for the Bad Ebola and soon this once deadly disease will be eradicated world wide. The official position of Stop Masturbation Now & The CDC is that prevention by not masturbating is still the best solution to this terrible plague.

 

God Bless,

TheRev Leroy Jenkins

TheRev Leory Jenkins is a Sr. Staff Writer for BLUFF Press, LLC.

785-274-0325 or TheRev@bluff.us.edu

About TheRev Leroy Jenkins 36 Articles

TheRev Leroy Jenkins was born the oldest of 13 children in a small farm town of Sweet Apple, Oh. While on the farm he learned to fear god, a woman’s place is in the kitchen, a mans place is to be the head of the household, and masturbation is a sin. At 18 TheRev left his small town and moved to Seattle to attend college, while there he was tempted by some filthy pot-weed injecting hippies to try masturbations, this led to a downward spiral of ellis dee bong hits, pot weed injections, listening to Milli Vanilli, and holding a sign saying “Will self rape for McNuggets.” He was at his lowest point in his life when he was saved by Lonnie Childs of the Stop Masturbation Now church, Lonnie took him in, bathed him in his Holy Golden Shower of Truth, and educated him in FaithFacts™ and Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts™ in Stafford, AZ. TheRev was an avid student and earned his PHD of FaithFacts™ from B.L.U.FF and was sent out on a Mission to spread Lonnie’s word to heathen Amish-Mexicans in rural Ohio. TheRev now resides in Ohio and runs the Ohio B.L.U.FF campus in Homersville, Oh with his 5 Same Race Assigned Spouses and his 23 Normal children. Brother Leroy is Senior Staff writer for B.L.U.FF Press LLC. In 2011 TheRev was awarded The Pulitzer Prize and Edward G. Murrow Award for his in depth expose’ on the Myth of the Female Orgasm.

Contact: Website

9 Comments on BREAKING NEWS: BLUFF Discovers Cure for Ebola Virus

  1. Was this an important story? Only, I found myself gazing upon the picture of Brother Nikita and before I knew it, my 1 hour interwebz allowance was over…

  2. This article is very misleading. Everyone who knows the Lord knows that Bad Ebola is a curse of Ham and Cheese left on Africa for those who ain’t white!!! READ THE BIBLE PEOPLE!!!!!

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