By Nigel J. Covington III
Reporting For SMN News
(SMN News) Today the U.S. Department of Education, (DOE) announced the Board of Education has approved a new Sex Education curriculum for all high school aged students who attend public high schools throughout the country.
Cynthia Castle-Coe, a spokesperson for the DOE, said, “Last week the board approved the BLUFF Sex Education Curriculum, submitted by BLUFF University. The new classes begin and will affect students enrolled for the 2017-18 school year.”
Castle-Coe continued, “The new course comes in response to parents from around the country who’ve demanded the Department of Education provide a Sex Ed. course which is based in traditional American values, which the BLUFF curriculum does.”
She added, “Parents can be assured we’ll have no repeat incidents like last year where a toxic Sex Ed. teacher thought strapping on a dildo and demonstrating its use for her 6th grade class was appropriate.”
BLUFF is an acronym for Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts, in Safford, AZ. She introduced Chancellor Lonnie Childs, founder and director of BLUFF University to provide additional details about what parents and students can expect in September.
Childs explained the new curriculum this way, ” The BLUFF curriculum is based on traditional American beliefs, that support family values, moral behavior and abstinence.
As such teens are taught about normal heterosexual relations between loving, same-race, opposite gender, married couples.”
He continued, “The new course will be run by our national Stop Masturbation Now, (SMN) program which teaches kids about the dangers, health risks and mental illnesses associated with masturbation. Students are also taught how to overcome peer pressure and how to control their own flagrant and unnatural urges to engage in vulgar acts of sexual self-abuse or self-rape.”
One reporter asked why the new course isn’t teaching teens that masturbation is both normal and healthy?
Childs replied, “Take for example these kids today who call themselves Emo’s. These students suffer from depression and suicidal ideation. They typically cut themselves to feel alive, they say. Cutting is one type of self-abuse and masturbation is another. Our goal for these kids is to encourage them to feel alive without having to touch themselves, down there. Hopefully we’ll keep our students from turning to the dangerous, semen drenched, fish-cave horrors of the Emosexual lifestyle.”
“Kids learn about God’s truth, not ‘alternative facts’ and why abstinence, marriage, family and the importance of living a normal life with a strong moral code is the fast track into Heaven. Kids learn to defend themselves from their peers who worship the devil. These little bastards will plant dirty thoughts in your child’s mind and often introduce them to free Internet porn where beastly and abhorrent images of human degradation and unnatural sex acts can be seen,” he added.
That’s when a young, brown, uppity, foul mouthed, 300 pound Mexican feminista & Social Justice Warrior-Retard (SJW-R) who we’ll call “Pig-Tits” emerged shirtless from the small group of about 15 reporters and their camera crews with four or five other rough looking Mexican broads intent on shutting down the interview by shouting obscenities and throwing objects such as used condoms, tampons and soft drinks at the chancellor.
Pig-Tits led the protestors shouting, “Fu@k you Lonnie Childs and fu@k your God!!! There’s no proof that teaching kids to be racist assholes like you makes them any safer than other kids. You Bigot, you faggot hater!” As Childs was being pelted the other protesters accused Childs of being a “racist child touch’r, and a fraud.”
Pig-Tits and her girlfriends then linked arms together creating a small human chain of manly looking diesel dykes who continued screaming “Lonnie smokes pole,” and “You will not divide us.” By then BLUFF Secret Service agents had moved Childs to a safe location in the building.
Additional agents successfully broke up and subdue the seething chain of hate-fueled Lesbos by employing excessive force techniques, whereupon they were aptly thrown out into the street.
Outside another 100 or more progressive-liberal, unemployed, welfare recipients too lazy to work were marching with signs protesting the new BLUFF curriculum and SMN program.
Pig-Tits fought with a true warrior spirit until a uniformed BLUFF officer slapped a choke hold on the bitch. Another plainclothes agent assisted the officer. When they passed me the ignorant Pig-Tits was blue in the face from lack of oxygen as the filthy Mexi-FemiNazi was thrown out into the street.
Sadly because today’s new progressive extremists in the Democratic Party are well known for their use of violence anytime someone questions their weak, pathetic and false narrative Childs had to be moved to an undisclosed location.