Bionic “Glov” Masturbator in Development

"Revolutionary" Sex Toy for Female Self Rapists Soon to Hit Store Shelves

SMN Labs-The newest threat from Big Masturbation is soon to become retail. A group of non-normal perverts in Tampa, FL have started “Glovin Life” to promote the sin delights females can acheive with a device named simply, ‘The Glov.”

Ladies with carpel tunnel pain can now experience dip-diddlings and pounding penetrations at the flick of the wrist. The device allows for a number of assorted phallic attachments to dampen the panties of the females under your family authority. One attachment is shaped like a space ship with a clitoral clip designed to arouse her worked up bean. Another is shaped exactly like a rigid male trouser rocket and can penetrate the female sin tunnel up to 10 inches with a ribbed texture designed to “get at” all those certain spots..

The devil is behind this and all sex toys. The sinners that con cocked this abhorrent sin apparatus call it “revolutionary.” My dear friends in Christ, aside from eating a forbidden apple, masturbation is the oldest of sins having been committed since man and woman first discovered the sinful sensations of self stimulation. Be not fooled or led astray by the enticements of self rape. And what is the modern day gratification for eating a piece of fruit? Masturbation is a much more dangerous sin.


WARNING: This video contains sickening displays of a devious sexual nature. Please remove all women, children, and other weak-minded individuals from the room before viewing.


About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O'Reily "No-Spin" Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.
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12 Comments on Bionic “Glov” Masturbator in Development

  1. There is no connection between religion and masturbation. I’m not a sinner. Using religion to manipulate people to stop masturbating is wrong. There is nothing wrong with this.

  2. I jerk off to fictitious erotic descriptions of cross dressers getting viciously fucked in every orifice feasible by tentacle monsters on a daily basis and there’s nothing your book can do to tell me otherwise. :^)

  3. I came here often to check new jerking stuff so i can masturbate even harder and more effectively.

    Keep up good work jerking brothers!

  4. Please don’t tell me your going to try and pass a law to stop cause u can’t stop something that most people do ow and btw this is the internet ur magic book and religion doesn’t matter here

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