Rejoice brothers and sisters! A moment of righteous vindication is upon us. After weeks of false accusations and liberal media criticism, Brother Lonnie’s Bleach Away The Sin therapy for children of dangerous minorities is exceeding all expectations!
Hours after an incentive program was introduced guaranteeing certain benefits for the parents of enrolled children, the phones were ringing non-stop! All available time slots for the next 7 weeks are now booked up!
The benefits varied depending on the applicants ethnicity. Mexican families were offered colorful second-hand clothing, lucrative employment positions at adequate compensation, and protection from government immigration agencies for the duration of their kid’s stay at the compound. Black families were offered interest free cash advances against their monthly EBT payments.
The overwhelming interest in our services from the local community of non-normals, clearly illustrates that God’s love is truly color-blind. Together we will defeat racism, bigotry, and masturbation! Praise!
This message of hope was brought to you by the Homogay Conversion Therapy offices of Nikita Shalavin.