“Our prayers will heal the damage to your soul from life of masturbation, but only time will heal your vagina.” – Brother Doug Pinnic
The fact that masturbation gives you the Gay, is basic Faith Science. And if we learned anything from Tom Cruise’s movie “Philadelphia”, is that unlike famous basketball players, Gays usually get the bad AIDS.
Furthermore, chronic masturbators often resort to drug use in order to cope with guilt and shame associated with trauma of repeated self-rape cycles. It won’t take long before you catch bad AIDS from sharing dirty condoms with homeless junkies of questionable ethnicity.
I once kept a bad AIDS patient alive for almost a year, sustained on nothing but cat milk and religious prayer. You may not be so lucky.
Together, we can prevent the impending bad AIDS epidemic, child molestation and inter-racial fornication. Stop masturbation. Now.
This message of hope was brought to you by the Homogay Conversion Offices of Nikita Shalavin