The Foundation For a Better Tomorrow in association with B.L.U.F.F. has confirmed that a new super strain of Ebola is passed to hosts through masturbation. The virus clings to the outer skin palettes and is launched airborne at the moment of masturbatory climactic release, becoming airborne and susceptible to transmission to anyone breathing in the tainted air.
The virus is strengthened by the humid and grimy climates common to the maturbationist’s environment. The virus is transferred to the hands by coughing and in turn, to the genitalia when self rape occurs.
When the subject tenses his or her pelvis in anticipation of masturbatory release, the virus becomes active, as petri dish studies have shown. As the mind and body is overcome by hand-to-shaft, or finger-to-button genitalia strokes, the virus, in insidious fashion, becomes ionically charged by the rush of warmth and blood to the private area. When the climatic pulses of release are spewed airborne after vigiorous self rape, the virus concurrently expands and disburses in the air creating a highly contagious cloud of masturbatory particulate matter that is infected with ebola.
It is suspected that the last outbreak of ebola in Western Africa is the result of the new self-rape super strain.
The scientists at the FfaBT plead with citizens to remain calm and restrain from self rape, especially if experiencing flu-like symptoms. Never diddle your pathetic around small children or cuddly animals. Prayer services for normals infected with the newest ebola super strain can be issued or paticipated with by tuning to channel 4.561-18 of the S.M.N. Prayer App, available for iPhones or Android.