Have You Been Touched By The Hand of God?

God works for you while you sleep!


We here at Stop Masturbation Now Ministries often hear the dribble from masturbators that “Too much build-up of sperm in your system is un-healthy.” While that is partially true, it is not entirely true.

Have you ever wondered why nobody dies from too much build-up? After all, people die if they have too many marijuannas in their system. Why don’t they die if they have too much sperm in their system? The answer is simple. If you have too much seminal fluid built up in your body, God will relieve you of it.

You heard me correctly. If your levels of seminal fluid are dangerously high, God himself will touch your soul in such a way that your body releases its seminal fluid. This is a spiritual experience that happens during your dreams. Afterwards, you wake up and find that your fluid has been released from your body.

Because God is touching your soul, there is nothing homogay about the experience. While you may work your body like a two-stroke motor for release of your fluid, God simply pushes a button on your soul and the job is done. Nobody touches your sin-stick, not you, not God, not some other guy. Most non-masturbators who experience this often report dreaming of beautiful and alluring same-race women, during these dreams.

If you are considering masturbation, I encourage you to consider allowing the hand of God to do what comes naturally.

About Liam McKey 44 Articles
Liam McKey is a former combat veteran and owner of the only Vegan-Certified ranch in the United States. He has two normal teenage children with his same-race wife. Liam is active in the community of Safford, Arizona where he lives. Mr. McKey is an expert on teenage masturbation addiction and has many degrees from various non-accredited faith-based colleges.
Contact: Website

16 Comments on Have You Been Touched By The Hand of God?

  1. Dear Mr. McKey, I’m very pleased to see you cover this subject matter. Not many journalists today are willing to cover such a sensitive topic. As I’m sure you no doubt remember from the days of your youth before marriage, maintaining one’s abstinence until after being wed to your same race / opposite gender Christian wife is at times very difficult. I’ve known a few good Christian friends from my college days who’s build up of God’s holy seminal procreation fluid proved to be so overwhelming that they lowered themselves to self-rape. A couple of these friends who felt they could confide in me told me of their degrading and self-destructive behavior. I told them the only way to conquer the demons Satan had sent to possess their hands was to expose their utter shame by confessing to loved ones and their pastor their vile sins and to pray for God’s forgiveness. Overcome by their own shame they couldn’t do it. One died later that evening having dinner with family, he went out the same way as Mama Cass Elliot. The other became a hopeless marijuana addict who killed himself a month or so later after learning I had informed his parents, friends and pastor of his unforgivable sins. Thank you brother hopefully your story touches many who suffer.

  2. Lemmy (liam), please stop the charade. We all know that you are a world famous sin stick masseuse. Take off that silly, jism stain encrusted cowboy hat, shave and come on over and suckle my sin stick. Hopefully we can get cathy REDMOUND to clean up and truffle to revive my flaccid sin stick. Once that’s done, I’m going to want to explore your sin cave. Also, you need to work on your kagels, you been loosening up quite a bit lately…

    • You really need to get a grip on life and stop living in a dream world. You talk complete and utter bullshit. Who gives a shit. We are animals created by evolution. We live to eat sleep and breed. Part of breeding is self masturbation. We have raised above our urges to some extend the main one being racist sexist homophones that we used to be, well some of us have anyway. They are the people that need to change not the people who fight for equal rights and same sex marriages and interacial couples. They are the people I will preach for them any day over the lowlife scum that you are. And self rape. That just makes me feel angry and abhorrent for the people who are raped. That is just degrading to the word and should never be used like that. Go fuck you self. Pun intended

  3. Whilst it is true that nobody has died from ‘build up’ is certainly isn’t the Lord that takes it away. It actually gets recycled by the body and absorbed and reused. I despise this for two main reasons. Firstly you are preaching something completely fake and secondly it could have serious effects on someone’s mental state. What’s to say someone hasn’t read this and felt disgusted and horrified with themselves, so much so it makes them spiral into depression so bad that they end up doing something Un thinkable. Thinking in your ridiculous and frankly abhorrent frame of mind surely it’s a good thing. As it allows someone to help them ‘abstain from sex’ till their married. And to call it self rape is just unjustifying the word itself. Rape is forced contact and therefore impossible to connect with self masturbation. Now unfortunately I cannot have you removed from the Internet. However I can quite easily report this site to all of the major search engine and advertising websites and have you removed from any and all listings. Which has already been done. Good luck preaching your stupid and frankly pathetic attempt to make up the numbers in your dwindling cult.

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