Ocean Water and Semen
Ocean water is salty. Semen is salty. You should never swallow ocean water while swimming. You should never masturbate, NOR should you swallow your own semen after masturbating. Lonnie Childs’ Law of Conservation of Mass states in faith :
“Matter is neither created nor destroyed as such, seminal fluids last forever.”
– Saint Lonnie Childs
When a man masturbates, his ejaculate is procured and then either flushed out to sea or thrown into the trash to be reabsorbed into the earths crust and then leaked into aquifers and groundwater. All of the earths oceans, especially the 5 Mexican Oceans, and unfortunately the Lonvidian Sea, are 90% seminal and 9% precum (+/- 1% of #faithflaw™). Have you noticed that both semen and ocean water are both wet? That, is evidence of an irrefutable #faithfact™.
Caves and Vaginas
Caves are defined in the King Lonald Holy Unabridged Dictionary as:
“A large underground chamber, typically of sinful origin, in the apex of a hillside or cliff.”
-Saint Lonald Chils, Founder of the Lonnie Childs Private Library
Vaginas are large chambers of sin at the apex of a woman’s thighs. Caves have bats that suck blood, therefore caves are underground bordellos of blood. Vaginas, during their most filthy time of the month are also filled with demonic, Satan calling menstrual blood. Wet, musty, moist, humid, smelly, unclean, spooky. Just a few words that describe vaginas and also describe caves. Have you noticed that geographers always wash their hands after exploring the inside of a cave? Well, so do gynecologists after exploring a woman’s sin cave to check for contamination, viruses, HPV, sickle cell, yeast, and The Bad AIDS.
Vienna Sausages and Wieners of Young Boys who Masturbate
Vienna sausages are short, fat, pink, covered in a gelatinous goo. Vienna sausages are also, like ocean water, salty and have a distinct smell. The weiners of young boys are… well… I don’t really know exactly as I have never been a young masturbating boy. But it has been said under good authority, that those same characteristics can assigned to the small smelly sin stick of a masturbating male child. You would never put a male child’s wiener in your mouth, do not put Vienna Sausages in your mouth either (as they will both produce a feeling of self loathing and cause an increase in blood pressure).
Skunks and Pubic Hair
Both skunks and pubic hairs are fluffy, furry, black and smell atrociously. No one wants to look at a bald skunk, no one wants to look at a bald penis. The smell of a skunk can clear a room. The smell of a vagina (especially during summer) can do the same. Skunk hair makes Willow Smith look ugly. Pubic hair makes Bettie Page look ugly. Skunks are also known as polecats. Strippers rub their pussies on poles. Skunks range in length from 8-19 inches. Penises range in length from 8-19 inches. The oily musk that skunks emit comes from anal glands under their tail. The Reverend Leroy Jenkins has pubic hair around his anus.
I hope you all have learned something, and I pray that you will share your newly found knowledge with those you love.
Have a Blessed Day!