New Downs Discovered, Masturbation To Blame


A shocking statistic released by the U.K.B.L.U.F.F.B.C revealed the results of the extensive several pages of data collected by myself, and various other SMN Deacons and Elders, such as Cassidy Penn, show a direct link between Juggalo Gay Bowel Disease and chromosomal damage, resulting in Neo-The Downs.


It has long been known that the Satanic and violent atheist perversity cult of Juggalos was infected with a terrible viral disease, long ago having muted from the common Viral Masturbator’s Palsy. For an untold number of years, all of humanity was potentially at risk to be infected with J.G.B.D, but then the disease specialized, and began to infect only Juggalos, being virulent and proficient masturbators, Juggalos had already begun down the inevitable path of God’s plan of becoming a lesser species.


Only within the last few days, was it speculated that J.G.B.D could cause chromosomal damage, but now it has also been assumed it can cause a form of The Downs, called Neo-The Downs, that could result in an En-Downsing at a level far in excess of 75,000 Downs. Such a Downs would surely require an untold amount of hugging, and due to it’s freakish strength, would kill many innocent people.

Due to the extremely disgusting and barbaric practice of Juggalo breeding, it is highly possible that the entire Detroit Metropolitan Area could be en-Downsed at any moment, and will certain be so, if it is not already, in no more than six weeks!


Do not, under any circumstance, have anything to do with these disease ridden, monstrosities! Instead, view them from afar, and use their images to remind your offspring of what exactly it is that we are fighting so diligently for!

About Thomas Kelly 62 Articles
Thomas Kelly, SMN Faithscience Editor, is the Dean of several B.L.U.F.F's, as well as the preeminent authority on Faithscience. In addition these lofty titles, he is also a powerful wizard, and holds over fifty non-secular PHDs.

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