SMNNN- (B.L.U.F.F PRODUCT RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT)
Hello Faithfriends, Chosen Normals and Pledged Self-Chastes, and our allies! Today we are pleased to present the answer to all your portable anti-masturbation needs, the newly unveiled Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™, the collapsible restraint system designed by the same people who designed the Anti-Masturbation Cross ™.
In these dark, masturbation laden times, we at B.L.U.F.F R&D heard the requests of parents who bought our extremely successful Anti-Masturbation Cross ™, and their requests for a more portable, easier to take on-the-go version of our fine product, to help prevent publicly awkward situations that often occur in today’s heavily tarded youth. So we stepped up, and using space-aged polymers, denier rip-stop nylon, and 2″ thick teflon-coated graphite reinforced strapping, and military grade Velcro ™, we have done our best to deliver! Able to restrain even the most savage tard, and resist the highest amounts of freakish tard strength.
Our new Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™ is ready to go! The Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™, because your life shouldn’t have to wait for a masturbator! ™
Available at the B.L.U.F.F store for 6 easy payments of $89.99! Get yours today! Praise!