A Fourth of July Faithfact!
by Lonnie Childs — July 3, 2014
Author: Lonnie Childs
Heaveno! My name is Lonald "Lonnie" Childs and I am the founder and president of the STOP Masturbation NOW anti-masturbation movement. Please visit my Facebook page here, https://www.facebook.com/LonnieSMN and my unaccredited institution of higher learning here, https://www.facebook.com/brotherlonnie
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Praise Lonnie Childs. Praise.
Bless you, Bishop
Really?!?
Yes, it’s true! All faithfacts are.
No fucking shit
Please, no cuss words. This is a family-oriented netsite.
Fuck masturbating, I wanna fuck her right in the pussy
Thank for you taking the time out of your busy schedule to enlighten us this on this America Day. Praise Lonnie!
click the “pray for button” if you like masturbation
You all are retarded religious idiots, your worse than the Mormons and that is pretty hard to beat! Congrats dummies!!
Do not put us in the same category as those LIEberals. Praise!
with a name like Bronco_lover I bet you’ve fooled around with larger animals before, even committing acts of self-rape upon yourself while thinking of horses. It is wrong and hurts the animals soul. My you find peace my friend. Praise!
These people are clearly high off something real strong to actually believe this shit, and no it’s not GOD it’s most likely drugs, or there being drugged.
These people are geniuses. The people who run this site are the biggest trolls in the world. Please teach me your ways of trolling.
Either they are the worlds greatest trolls or they are just plain retarded
Let us know when you figure it out, masturbator.
Hello and I am the real Lonnie Childs. This is all a hoax and am a dumb dumb poopy head, i do masturbate all the time because I’m a hypocrite, durrrr I touch myself and hail satan derp derp derpity derp I’m a smelly poopy head
Silly masturbator.
This website has got to be one of the best trolls I’ve ever seen. Wow. Congratulations guys, this took some real time and effort. Had me going for a good 20 minutes.
It hurts my spirit to know that you’ve been self-raping others for 20 minutes. Is that before or after you had an affair with yourself? This is the agenda of BIG MASTURBATION. Let us pray..
Uh… yeah, actually, you can masturbate with both hands holding the flag. Just, make sure you do the washing after.
why even wash its just an american flag…directly into the waste pls
Jokes on you, I’m jacking it so hard to the chick with the American flag. Thanks!
ur gr8
America, birth place of Jesus. Happy Birthday Jesus #FaithFact
actually Jesus was born in Bethlehem. Read the Bible.
I live in New Zealand, can you suggest a place where I can order an American flag to hold in order to avoid masturbating please? Praying for a masturbation free world!
I would try looking in various tourist ‘hot spots’ around your capital’s CBD. The reason I say this is because Christ-fearing moral Americans are rarely comfortable purchasing another country’s flag, much less holding one – and so there is bound to be a goodly quantity of the old stars and stripes so that American tourists can purchase American flags in order to display their patriotism while in your foreign country. 🙂
China. That’s where we get ’em.
can’t masturbate with both hands while holding the flag? challenge accepted
This has got to be a troll. This whole website is extremely discriminatory. All it is, is a bunch of sexist, homophobic, racist pigs coming together to find validation for their beliefs
Welcome to America
Is this real? This is the funniest thing i have seen in a long while. Lonnie, you are a genius. Thanks.
i just don’t understand why they use pictures of naked girls covered up by the american flag to stop people from pleasuring themselves…
I’m sure quite a few people have jacked off to those pics
Thanks for providing two quality pictures to fap over ^_^
Yes, yes you can… in fact it’s not (well IT is hard) hard to do… in fact, it catches the mess and saves on tissues/toilet paper… so here’s to another ridiculous post from the religious zealots.
so… this is a joke website right? For trolls?
You add poll on the flag then you hold it in 1 hand and you masturbate.
For a site that claims to be against masturbation, these women sure do make me want to masturbate. On an American Flag.
While abstaining from self-rape, my mind is open to so much more meaningful blessings the Lord provides. Instead of giving into the dark pleasures of Satan while listening to my Samsung iPod, I realize that Faithfacts are a fun way to teach self-molestors the true calling intended by our Savior on the America day! Praise Lonnie, Halleluerr!
Praise!
I’d like to have my daily bread now
it’s because of dumb people like you that the human race stopped evolving . get a brain for christ’s sake ! (i’m an atheist but okay) people like you died centuries ago . would you guys mind leaving the world be and let us continue evolving ?
Evolving does not mean listanin to your stupid Samsung iPods givin in to some self-incest. Evolvin means that that you purify yourself, and I reckan that you Cathie did not have a superior male to tell you your role. I pray for you and your molested holy parts. Praise!
1 – samsung ipod ? 2 – i dont ”listan” to it and masturbate . 3 – its not self-incest . 4 – it does not mean you purify yourself . 5 – i did have a superior male , so shut up before saying shit 6 – ”telling me my role” has nothing to do with this . this is non sense -.-
oh and its CATHERINE , not cathie , learn to read dumbass
Hey, I’m not American. I see no reason why I should be holding the American flag. So I’ll just go ahead and rape myself. Aren’t Christians supposed to not judge. I thought that was up to Saint Peter? Oh, and you know other countries believe in God too, right? Self-righteous American douchebags.. Every time I read about God online, it’s like you guys think you have monopoly on the guy. God bless America. Dumbest shit I ever heard.