Morals / Self-Rape Prevention

A Fourth of July Faithfact!

Have a safe and masturbation free Fourth. flag-girls-500-38

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Bishop Smith
Bishop Smith
9 years ago

Praise Lonnie Childs. Praise.

Uncle
9 years ago

Really?!?

Vince
Vince
9 years ago

No fucking shit

aceman24
aceman24
9 years ago

Fuck masturbating, I wanna fuck her right in the pussy

Cathy Redmond
9 years ago

Thank for you taking the time out of your busy schedule to enlighten us this on this America Day. Praise Lonnie!

Orgon
Orgon
9 years ago

click the “pray for button” if you like masturbation

Bronco_lover
Bronco_lover
9 years ago

You all are retarded religious idiots, your worse than the Mormons and that is pretty hard to beat! Congrats dummies!!

Truffle
9 years ago
Reply to  Bronco_lover

Do not put us in the same category as those LIEberals. Praise!

Bishop Smith
Bishop Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Bronco_lover

with a name like Bronco_lover I bet you’ve fooled around with larger animals before, even committing acts of self-rape upon yourself while thinking of horses. It is wrong and hurts the animals soul. My you find peace my friend. Praise!

Dani
Dani
9 years ago
Reply to  Bronco_lover

These people are clearly high off something real strong to actually believe this shit, and no it’s not GOD it’s most likely drugs, or there being drugged.

Derp Trollington
Derp Trollington
9 years ago

These people are geniuses. The people who run this site are the biggest trolls in the world. Please teach me your ways of trolling.

Bronco_lover
Bronco_lover
9 years ago

Either they are the worlds greatest trolls or they are just plain retarded

Lonnie Childs
Lonnie Childs
9 years ago

Hello and I am the real Lonnie Childs. This is all a hoax and am a dumb dumb poopy head, i do masturbate all the time because I’m a hypocrite, durrrr I touch myself and hail satan derp derp derpity derp I’m a smelly poopy head

Truffle
9 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Silly masturbator.

Mrs. WoW
Mrs. WoW
9 years ago

This website has got to be one of the best trolls I’ve ever seen. Wow. Congratulations guys, this took some real time and effort. Had me going for a good 20 minutes.

Bishop Smith
Bishop Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Mrs. WoW

It hurts my spirit to know that you’ve been self-raping others for 20 minutes. Is that before or after you had an affair with yourself? This is the agenda of BIG MASTURBATION. Let us pray..

hmm
hmm
9 years ago

Uh… yeah, actually, you can masturbate with both hands holding the flag. Just, make sure you do the washing after.

JustCameHere
JustCameHere
9 years ago
Reply to  hmm

why even wash its just an american flag…directly into the waste pls

Huge Schlong
Huge Schlong
9 years ago

Jokes on you, I’m jacking it so hard to the chick with the American flag. Thanks!

hhhh
hhhh
9 years ago
Reply to  Huge Schlong

ur gr8

Truffle
9 years ago

America, birth place of Jesus. Happy Birthday Jesus #FaithFact

Dani
Dani
9 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

actually Jesus was born in Bethlehem. Read the Bible.

Joneypops
Joneypops
9 years ago

I live in New Zealand, can you suggest a place where I can order an American flag to hold in order to avoid masturbating please? Praying for a masturbation free world!

Julian Taylor
9 years ago
Reply to  Joneypops

I would try looking in various tourist ‘hot spots’ around your capital’s CBD. The reason I say this is because Christ-fearing moral Americans are rarely comfortable purchasing another country’s flag, much less holding one – and so there is bound to be a goodly quantity of the old stars and stripes so that American tourists can purchase American flags in order to display their patriotism while in your foreign country. 🙂

Katt Möw
9 years ago
Reply to  Joneypops

China. That’s where we get ’em.

Yara
Yara
9 years ago

can’t masturbate with both hands while holding the flag? challenge accepted

Anonymous
Anonymous
9 years ago

This has got to be a troll. This whole website is extremely discriminatory. All it is, is a bunch of sexist, homophobic, racist pigs coming together to find validation for their beliefs

Kevin
9 years ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Welcome to America

Mikkel
9 years ago

Is this real? This is the funniest thing i have seen in a long while. Lonnie, you are a genius. Thanks.

bob
bob
9 years ago

i just don’t understand why they use pictures of naked girls covered up by the american flag to stop people from pleasuring themselves…
I’m sure quite a few people have jacked off to those pics

Kevin
9 years ago

Thanks for providing two quality pictures to fap over ^_^

Danny
9 years ago

Yes, yes you can… in fact it’s not (well IT is hard) hard to do… in fact, it catches the mess and saves on tissues/toilet paper… so here’s to another ridiculous post from the religious zealots.

k
k
9 years ago

so… this is a joke website right? For trolls?

Alex
Alex
9 years ago

You add poll on the flag then you hold it in 1 hand and you masturbate.

Katt Möw
9 years ago

For a site that claims to be against masturbation, these women sure do make me want to masturbate. On an American Flag.

Phil
9 years ago

While abstaining from self-rape, my mind is open to so much more meaningful blessings the Lord provides. Instead of giving into the dark pleasures of Satan while listening to my Samsung iPod, I realize that Faithfacts are a fun way to teach self-molestors the true calling intended by our Savior on the America day! Praise Lonnie, Halleluerr!

Bishop Smith
Bishop Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Phil

Praise!

joop
joop
9 years ago

I’d like to have my daily bread now

Catherine
Catherine
9 years ago

it’s because of dumb people like you that the human race stopped evolving . get a brain for christ’s sake ! (i’m an atheist but okay) people like you died centuries ago . would you guys mind leaving the world be and let us continue evolving ?

Sophie Silders
Sophie Silders
9 years ago

Evolving does not mean listanin to your stupid Samsung iPods givin in to some self-incest. Evolvin means that that you purify yourself, and I reckan that you Cathie did not have a superior male to tell you your role. I pray for you and your molested holy parts. Praise!

Catherine
Catherine
9 years ago
Reply to  Sophie Silders

1 – samsung ipod ? 2 – i dont ”listan” to it and masturbate . 3 – its not self-incest . 4 – it does not mean you purify yourself . 5 – i did have a superior male , so shut up before saying shit 6 – ”telling me my role” has nothing to do with this . this is non sense -.-

Catherine
Catherine
9 years ago
Reply to  Sophie Silders

oh and its CATHERINE , not cathie , learn to read dumbass

donkeyhigh
9 years ago

Hey, I’m not American. I see no reason why I should be holding the American flag. So I’ll just go ahead and rape myself. Aren’t Christians supposed to not judge. I thought that was up to Saint Peter? Oh, and you know other countries believe in God too, right? Self-righteous American douchebags.. Every time I read about God online, it’s like you guys think you have monopoly on the guy. God bless America. Dumbest shit I ever heard.