B.L.U.F.F. Female Masturbation Detection

Guidelines in Detecting Masturbation in Females

SMN -My dear friends in Christ. As you are well aware, the fight against the sin of self rape is an ongoing process, one that is never finished. The holy bible, being the first and only needed reference on the topic of morality, contains certain instructions and responsibilities that Christian parents are expected to abide by. The first and foremost of these responsibilities is to protect your precious children from sin.

The masculine parent is under just such an obligation, to protect his children from masturbation sin.

It is very important that self rape be nipped in the bud as quickly as possible. One such method to detect masturbatory sin in your female offspring is a nightly inspection and finger sniff.

Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F), in association with the Foundation for a Better Tomorrow (FFBT), has researched and developed these helpful guidelines to perform safe and effective female masturbation detection measures. Brother August Weisz took the lead in finalizing this study. It takes only a few seconds a night to detect female masturbation.

B.L.U.F.F. / FFBT Female Self Rape Detection

  • Females masturbate with their fingers by inserting and rubbing areas in and around their vaginal crotch areas causing foul and noxious juices to be expelled. Be on the lookout for localized stains on your daughter’s bedsheets or pajama bottoms.
  • Do not allow your female offspring to bring phallic or oblong toys to bed. Even a crayon or barbee doll can be used for self rape. Check these items for signs of friction wear. Suspect the worst if paint or labels appear to be worn.
  • A Christian child should never go to bed naked. The temptation of self gratification sodomy is too great for the prepubescent child’s mind, especially when exposed to the many occasions for sin presented by modern life. Always inspect your children before bed to verify they are wearing proper sleepwear.
  • When the girl is sleeping, her fingers may be sniffed for signs of masturbation. Females will normally masturbate with fingers on the hand they write with, but reports and behavioral science has concluded that young girls will switch hands for variety or to hide evidence of sin. If you suspect your daughter is self raping, it is wise to sniff the fingers of both her hands.
  • Fingers of recent bean flicking will have an acrid musty smell similar to an ethnic fish market.
  • Use caution. Female masturbation juices are very strong and will irritate your nasal passage and may cause nausea or allergic reactions. Use the 12-6-3 method when sniffing her fingers. The first sniff should be with your nose 12 inches away, then move closer to 6 inches, and then 3.
  • A positive self-rape detection occurs when you smell masturbation juices at any time during these steps.
  • Self-rape Discovery (SRD) can cause emotional distress. Exercise restraint upon a positive SRD. Retreat to your favorite easy chair or place of quiet contemplation and pour yourself a stiff drink to calm yourself down. Think through your next steps with a positive outlook. Rash action could make an already serious problem worse.
  • In the event of SRD, please take the appropriate steps as outlined in the B.L.U.F.F. Reference Manual under the chapter entitled, “My Offspring Masturbates-What Do I Do Next?” It is imperative that your child receive the proper counseling and reprogramming B.L.U.F.F. provides through Brother Lonnie’s mandate. B.L.U.F.F. also provides counseling for parents and siblings of youth self rapists.

As stated earlier, these simple steps take only seconds to accomplish, but they should be taken each night to ease the mind in the knowledge that your daughter’s soul is pure. Remember that your God-given responsibilities are for the greater good. One self rapist is a rightful cause of tremendous shame affecting each member of the entire family unit. Little Billy will certainly feel ashamed when he hears the snickers and whispers about sins committed by Little Sister, Jenny and vice versa just the same.

Myself and all members of B.L.U.F.F. and the SMN Ministry pray that your daughter is self-rape free.

About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O'Reily "No-Spin" Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.
Contact: Website

30 Comments on B.L.U.F.F. Female Masturbation Detection

  1. I apply a healthy dose of hot-sauce to my daughter’s fingers before bed each night. Not only does it prevent masturbation, it also prevents nose picking and crying.

    • Those are mythical creatures that live beneath bridges in Shadynavia. Maybe you should seriously consider giving up the ellisdee injections and STOP MASTURBATING NOW!

  2. I have noticed the hair on my daughters barbie doll is always standing on end and all sticky. Looks like I’ll be needing another no wankie blankie. Thank you brother Cassidy for this very informative article. Praise be with you.

    • Excellent, and thank you, Brother Faithgasming! Also, a quick reminder to head to the stream after drinking milk and look at your reflection. I know how a beard can get encumbered from food and spills. My sras is a great cook and I too can get sloppy when I feast on her prepared delights.

  3. Smelling your daughters fingers for her vaginal juices is sick beyond belief…sounds like the beginning stages of a child molester, you disgusting fucks.

    • How can a person reasonably go down this logical slope of fallacy when I specifically noted that these steps are to be taken to PREVENT self rape? Now I know you’re joking (and probably choking, too).

  4. oh my god!!! are you joking???
    This is so stupid , PREVENT self rape?
    you must to live in the prehistory!
    you must be an asexual!!!
    you are so sick!!!!
    All this page is a stupid and offensive thing,
    Smelling your daughters fingers for her vaginal juices sounds like a child molester.

  5. Masturbators are stupid? I’m a young female have a law degree (graduated with honours) and also have degree in literary studies, am a good Christian I read the bible and go to Church, I volunteer with the disabled and needy, have no debt, own my own car, support my family and have saved up enough to put a deposit on a house. I masturbate twice a week and have done for many many years you dumb ignorant fuck. The female body is beautiful and has both a clitoris and g-spot made solely for orgasm and guess what? God made me! Take it up with him if you have a problem with it

  6. Any females 18 and over in the San Diego area, who are having problems with the sin of clubbing the clam? Someone understands! I am an ordained minister and can help you overcome!

    As a woman, your nature is weak, and sometimes when your little girl stands up and pokes you in the panties, it gets hard. Your female sin nature takes over and you must give in and knead your cookie; Jesus and I know. But we can make sure you self-do in a Godly way! When you get that urge to strum your sin-buddy, come unto Reverend Mike! As you peel off your panties, I will watch you lift one leg and slowly begin to rub the nub. That way, when your hips buck and gyrate into your furiously drumming fingers, and you moan in pleasure as you sinfully bring yourself to a shattering orgasm of self-abuse, I can make sure you do so in a proper spirit of repentance. Then I can help in your deliverance by doing Lonnie’s smell test on every part of you that participated in your sinful act of girl-pleasure. I can tell by the smell whether you masturbated in a Godly way or not.

    Hallelujah! I think I need some time alone in my prayer closet.

  7. Hey whatcha doing in your prayer closet mike? Oh and there’s a hole in the wall. Is that a glory hole? Let me just put my sin stick in there and let you baptize it with your spit. Mmm…mmm that’s it mike, clean it off with your tongue, why yes, there is a reason why my sin stick smells like lonnie childs, i was just exploring his anus with it…


    • Maybe the Supreme Court said it was OK, but God says your gherkin’s for ferkin’ not jerkin’ with other dudes, can I get a Amen?

  8. You seemed awfully eager when i put my dick in that hole in your prayer closet mike. If you’re not ready to come out of the closet, i understand…

  9. The Fuck…. this is retarded stop believing this crap people…if god e costed he would not punish u for masturbating ..m.he made u to enjoy sex and masturbation….and there is nothing wtong with that.Open ur eyes ignorant people.

  10. HAHAHAH omg now for real, kidding aside, is this shit for real? I mean if this shit is real I feel so terribly sorry for the kids of all this “people”, they must feel so confused and if they are teens they must feel so embarrassed, also guys, when you have this kind of attitudes and you try to control your kids this way there is a big chance one day they will really do something bad and sick because you never allowed them to see the real world, maybe even rape somebody so just chill and fap a little, I think that’s what fucking cassidy pen needs.

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