Self-Rape Prevention

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin seen here speaking to children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin seen here at Westview Elementary School in Apple Valley, Minnesota while on his 31-city nationwide anti-masturbation school tour.

Phoenix, AZ — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is 35-year-old Paul Horner, was arrested on Sunday at Metta Yoga in Phoenix after employees notified police about a man with no pants on peering through office windows.

Tom Downey with the Phoenix Police Department, who took Horner into custody, spoke with Arizona news station ABC 15 about the arrest. “We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about children and how deadly it is for them to masturbate. Telling us he was in town with a Christian organization aimed at talking with children about the dangers of masturbation. Saying things like, ‘They need to stop playing on the Devil’s playground, stop pounding their Devil stick or ringing the Devil’s doorbell’,” Downey said. “Things got very odd when Horner broke down crying in the back of my cruiser and began making noises, kind of like a fish, saying that he believed himself to be an actual dolphin. It was really strange.”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now spoke with reporters about the future of the organization after this recent setback. “Thanks to your tax dollars, Fappy has helped tens of thousands of adults and children learn to live a masturbation-free lifestyle. During his visits to schools around the world, Fappy has collected thousands of signatures from children promising to never masturbate; he has done great things,” Childs said. “It’s a shame how the media is portraying Fappy right now. Paul Horner is a great man. He’s passionate about his work, he loves being Fappy, he loves the kids. They even have a nickname for him, they call him the tickle monster. But now, all of that is possibly ruined by some trumped-up charges by the Phoenix five-oh, such a shame. I have activated my prayer app and I ask each and every one of you to keep Fappy in your prayers until this incident is resolved. Praise Fappy!”

Horner told CNN by phone that he plans to make the most of his imprisonment. “I want to apologize to all my amazing fans out there, I love and miss you all,” Horner said. “You have my word that I will make the most of this bad situation. Jail is just a hotbed for self-rape and immoral acts. I plan to do everything in my power to stop the masturbation currently happening in this jail.”

On the group’s Facebook page this morning, news was posted of the arrest.

I have some bad news everyone. I want you to hear it here first before the media outlets spread their lies about the incident. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is Paul Horner, was arrested yesterday by Phoenix police. Our lawyers tell us he is being charged with public masturbation, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. He is currently being held at the 4th Avenue Jail in Phoenix, Arizona until a bond is set by a judge, this happening hopefully soon. Please don’t jump to any conclusions about this until we have all the evidence. Please keep Fappy in your prayers during this difficult time.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and Stop Masturbation Now are federally funded programs designed to teach both children and adults about the dangers and consequences of masturbation. For more information or if you would like the group to visit your child’s school call (785) 273-0325.

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leonni sucks dickGasboyDexter Battygarten iiiI am God and so are YouPasty Recent comment authors
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Truffle
Member

Praying AT Fappy!

June
Guest
June

I’m glad someone has the decency to self-rape in public. This makes it less likely that people will be doing it at home, thus reducing the need to masturbate often. 😉
I hope that Fappy really enjoyed his fap. 8=========D

Carlos Danger
Member

I knew before I read the article this took place in LIEberal Arizona. Paul Horner is a white skinned, God fearing Christian man and I smell a set-up by our enemies. Big Masturbation has overplayed their hand.

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[…] Aquí teneis el artículo original en inglés […]

Pasty
Guest
Pasty

Praying for Fappy, who is a hero to my son. He has Fappy stuffed animals, action figures and posters in his room. Praying against Big Porn and Big Masturbation for framing Fappy like this.

No.
Guest
No.

Hehe penis.

iMasturbateAndAmAGirl
Guest
iMasturbateAndAmAGirl

Don’t you retarded bible humping cross fuckers know that ‘fap’ means masturbation!

On the internet fap = masturbation.
Naming your mascot “Fappy” is basically you morons shooting yourself in the foot.

Fappy promotes masturbation!
And, damn!
Does masturbation feel WONDERFUL!!!

Pasty
Guest
Pasty

Wrong again, slut. “FAP” means “Forgoing Animal Pleasures.” If you weren’t so busy rubbing yourself raw you’d realize this.

Dexter Battygarten iii
Guest
Dexter Battygarten iii

double praise, brother, tell it like it is!! keep fapping! I too will be fapping till I die and go to Jesus. praise , praise and triple praise.

iMasturbateAndAmAGirl
Guest
iMasturbateAndAmAGirl

“He loves being Fappy, he loves the kids.”

He loves FAPPING and thinking about the KIDS!

Dexter Battygarten iii
Guest
Dexter Battygarten iii

we can only hope so. praise!

iMasturbateAndAmAGirl
Guest
iMasturbateAndAmAGirl

Can I ask an actual question?

How is is self-rape if the “child” or in my case “teen” is doing it willingly.
I mean, I love masturbating.
It feels good.
It keeps me calm, helps me sleep, is a great source of exercise.

It relieves stress!

Pasty
Guest
Pasty

Wrong again, slut. “FAP” means “Forgoing Animal Pleasures.” If you weren’t so busy rubbing yourself raw you’d realize this.

I am God and so are You
Guest
I am God and so are You

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! This is too hilarious! I love “Pasty” who calls everyone a Slut when he is given the real meaning of FAP. Wow buddy, how Christian of you! Fappy the Dolphin, you can’t make this shit up! hahahahahahaha

You just made my day!
Well, I guess Fappy can stop masturbation in prison as they will be pounding that sweet sweet dolphin meat all night. Good Work Fappy!!! What prison is he in? I’ll do the Christian thing and “ease his pain” with a package of Lube. hahahahahaha!

I am God and so are You
Guest
I am God and so are You

hahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!

Dexter Battygarten iii
Guest
Dexter Battygarten iii

oh dear, this homogay has gone hysterical. it begins with self rape and ends in interspecies coupling. one things for sure he’ll be in prison soon. He will find lots of use for “Lonnies Unclean Bongweeder Exorcism” package there though. Perhaps he will be able to help fappy after all?

Gasboy
Guest
Gasboy

Thanx Paul Boner !!! 😀

leonni sucks dick
Guest
leonni sucks dick

Milton grits looks like the guy who masterbates at the park while staring a little boys