Morals / Self-Rape Prevention

Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross: Safely Train Your Children To Keep Their Hands Off Their Dangerous Sin-Zones

Parents, have you ever imagined your child masturbating? Do you worry what they do when your back is turned? Do you fear that they will fall into the grip of Satan?

Worry no more! Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross®! Designed by STOP Masturbation NOW engineers, this wondrous restraining device allows you to go about your day without the nagging suspicion that your offspring are treating their bodies like some kind of perverted amusement park.

Now discounted at $199.99, this miracle of modern Christian science is available at www.stopmasturbationnow.org
One size fits all, appropriate for children ages 5-16.

Praise!

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Horny Mctouchmyslef
Horny Mctouchmyslef
6 years ago

THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN, AND I WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE OF JERSEY SHORE.

Black Lip Nigga
Black Lip Nigga
6 years ago

Amen nigga

Dick Boner
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Masturbation rage? I for one feel relaxed after.

Jimmy Cho
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

How am I lying? And why on earth why would I rub one out in front of the police? I’m not an animal. Just a human being with an IQ above 75 (unlike yourself unfortunately).I think, you sir need to get laid. Give a shot. Marijuana too.

Jimmy Cho
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Yeah. Damdest thing, huh? Who would have guessed a pot smoking masturbator could ever be so successful?

Zachary
Zachary
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Hahahaha, guys just look at Erich, he is as dumb as it gets, seems like he is devoid of any form of critical thinking, yet he is still clueless about the fact that it doesnt stop him from talking through his ass.

Pete
Pete
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

I masturbate, and I’ve smoked pot, and I’m also a high flying estate agent with a lovely family and more money than you could dream of. Oh, and god is about as real as the Easter Bunny 🙂

Chen-Pang He
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Why don’t you fuck your wife in front of some cops?

SatanJudasDevilLucifer
SatanJudasDevilLucifer
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Uuuuuhh, I’m pretty sure masturbation is consensual, as it is between one person and him(or her)self. Therefore, “selfrape” isn’t even close to a valid description. Also, the dude isn’t lying. Masturbation feels good and doesn’t make you angry. Deal with it. If you think otherwise, then nobody with any sliver of intelligence or the ability to think for themselves has any reason to listen to anything you say.

alex
alex
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

daft cunt.

Josh
Josh
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

You can’t self rape the willing.

Nathaniel
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Erich, are you, like, actually for real? I mean, I know you could be, but I’m really hoping somebody couldn’t be as stupid as you. I’m a Christian, but you give us a bad name. This whole website gives Christians a bad name, and the only reason I’m on here is to ridicule it. It’s like a Westboro Baptist Church homepage. Anyway, if you’re serious, your stupidity is really funny, to me. Keep up the laughs, my friends think you’re funny, too. P.S.: I self-love constantly.

Johnny
Johnny
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

I hope you burn in hell you sick demented bitch, go fuck your self with a parsnip

dejmoss
dejmoss
5 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Go get laid, dude!

Jackin off
2 months ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Your mom asked me to masturbate her last night. It’s a sin to forcefully restrain a child in a fucking straight jacket 😂

Robert Umberto Covello
Reply to  Dick Boner

Dude he’s trolling you. This is obviously a satire site.

Peter
Peter
6 years ago

Unfortunately, it isn’t!!!

jonghyun
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

I’m jacking off to your pic right now as we speak. You look like one of those little bitch boys who enjoys having his sinful entrance stretched and welcomes the warn hard glory into his glory hole.

jessica
jessica
6 years ago
Reply to  jonghyun

Me too

cunnunglingual
cunnunglingual
6 years ago
Reply to  jonghyun

Praying at you. Self-rape is a serious sin!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago
Reply to  cunnunglingual

It’s not rape if it’s willingly done

Tafranklin
Tafranklin
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

What you’ve been saying is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. Everyone on this site is now dumber for having read it. May He call down a plague of pornography and flying penises upon you, and may He have mercy on your child abusing soul.

Anthony
Anthony
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Umm your just dumb, masterbation is like kissing a god!

Craig Canale
Craig Canale
5 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

U are a depressed individual

Stephen Gerard
5 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

by your physical appearance you should masterbate, good luck at getting a girl you might want to turn gay men are easier! you look like a little boy maybe you will fit on one of those boards! lol ha ha

marjan393
6 years ago

This is freakin’ hillarious. In my country we call it child abuse

Ivan Strogenov
Ivan Strogenov
6 years ago
Reply to  marjan393

In my country, joke doesn’t get YOU

graciebauman
6 years ago
Reply to  marjan393

You must be from Mexico then where the worst type of people on this planet come from. Only a Mexican would laugh about child abuse. May Saint Lonnie bless you with his Golden Shower of Enlightenment and turn you into a more normal person. Praise!

lalo
lalo
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

I’m from Mexico and we don’t laugh about child abuse, you’re really misinformed. I’m sad for your judgmental attitude. We don’t even think of using this “blessed” thing.

Marta
Marta
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

I’m Mexican and I don’t laugh about it. So many people, mainly caucasians, come up with all these dumb things about what Mexicans do & what not & it’s so stupid. I’ve gotten bullied many times before & called all these names for being Mexican. So you’re irrelevant. Have a great day 🙂

brad
brad
6 years ago
Reply to  Marta

Marta, I’m from California, and I’m white, and I for one love Mexicans… love their culture, their dedication to family, and their hard work. And I love a nice latina accent… damn sexy…

goldenshowerpower
goldenshowerpower
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

Um, first that’s racist and “god” is suppose to “love all his children” that includes the WHOLE WORLD and second you don’t ever feel enlightened after a golden shower…probably more sticky :/

Arianna Grande
Arianna Grande
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

A golden shower….? Does he pee on you…?

Nathaniel
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

Gracie, I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not. If you are, you’re one of the stupidest people I’ve ever met, and on par with your buddies, on this website. They’re not laughing about child abuse, you fucking racist(by the way, how is THAT not some great sin?), they’re pointing out that this fucking immobilization torture device IS child abuse.

Paul Rosales
Paul Rosales
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

I think you guys are so set against masturbation because lame asses such as yourselves would probably never get the chance to reproduce. You know in the back of your head, though not willing to admit even to yourselves, that’s all you’d be doing and you and your dimwitted kind would eventually fade away from existence from lack of effort on trying to get laid. Oh and now your racist God fearing people as well, huh? I am willing to bet not a single person involved with website are half the person I am. I am of Mexican descent and… Read more »

Milton Grits
6 years ago
Reply to  Paul Rosales

I guess you schooled us then. Laughing out loud on the Internet!

Craig Canale
Craig Canale
5 years ago
Reply to  Paul Rosales

I agree I am a borderline genius (that’s what my I.Q says) who is a Christian who lives an a beautiful home and im 13. he reason you guys on Stop Masturbation fear masturbation is because you overlook the possibility that masturbation is what humans have the desire to do and there is sin in it but if I were a predator I would by this for the sake of torture and I hope this website is a joke if it isn’t than lord save us

Jesus
Jesus
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

Somebody is racist!

Fap4Life
Fap4Life
5 years ago
Reply to  Jesus

You’re 13, and you browse this fucking website? That is a fucking sin.

Elohim
Elohim
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

I’m jacking off while looking at your pics.

Michelle
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

no surprise you are a racist given the fact that you are fucking retarded

Iloveto"selfrape"
Iloveto"selfrape"
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

I for one love to Self love to some latina pornography.

masturbationisfun
masturbationisfun
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

lol you’re an idiot

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

In my country(US) I called the cops on my neighbor when she used this and I heard the kid screaming, now you have 3 guesses to see who’s facing child abuse charges

phraug
phraug
6 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

haha, you said golden shower //snicker//

Oz
Oz
5 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

Golden shower, huh ? Saint Lonnie seems a bit deviant.

ob1
ob1
5 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

Wow! That as some racist Shit. You need help.

YourMother
5 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

*sniggers* Golden shower, eh?

PENIS COCK
2 years ago
Reply to  graciebauman

*golden shower xD

gracie ur a bitch pls go stick a dildo up your christian ass
go to pornhub.com or youporn.com today!

Jackie Treehorn
Jackie Treehorn
6 years ago
Reply to  marjan393

you’re obviously a chronic masturbator

Common sense
Common sense
6 years ago

I don’t understand the Pray For and Pray Against buttons they both sound like they are disproving no matter what. When people say I’ll pray for you something horrible is happening and praying against you sounds like you want something horrible to happen to them so you can pray for them instead. Plus masturbation improves mental and immune functions. So people who are against it keep doing what your doing you’ll die before the rest of us and give us sane people some peace and quiet.

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  Common sense

Praying AT you!

Skyy Fox
6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

youre praying at someone instead of god? arent you just the best christian ever

Dan
Dan
6 years ago

This is child abuse

this site is a fucking joke
this site is a fucking joke
6 years ago

shit like this is why we have school shootings and shit, all you motherfuckers are fucked im the head, lmfao

The fuck is this site.
The fuck is this site.
3 years ago

Haha laughed my fucking ass off. As an Aussie, it’s nearly impossible for me to comprehend that this isn’t a satirical site. Sadly, I know some evangelicals who are actually this crazily retarded. FUCK HUMANITY. END IT.

joe fireman
joe fireman
6 years ago

amen

Not Erich Sean
Not Erich Sean
6 years ago

‘ERICH SEAN’ lol

Limp Dicked Jesus
Limp Dicked Jesus
6 years ago

Everyone calm down! I’m pretty sure this site is a joke…It is right? I almost lost my mind when I read this shit. The fact that I’m not 100% sure it’s a joke is almost more infuriating. Fuck it I’m burning down a church and beating off in the ashes. Watch me beat my meat God, Strike me in my lightning rod, and if you don’t like what I do, I’ll shoot my sticky load at you!

Randy Wood
Randy Wood
6 years ago

You do sound like a chronic self-rapist. Most masturbators are highly violent people, and your threats to burn down a church are not surprising in the least. I hope that someday you will see the light, and realize self-rape doesn’t just hurt you, it’s hurts your family, too. I’ll be praying at you.

bridgetbrown
bridgetbrown
6 years ago
Reply to  Randy Wood

Never will understand ur dumb ass sayings wtf how tf is it self rape do u even know the definition of rape -__- rape is unwilling wtf is unwilling n shit about masterbaiteing when it’s normal u guys are basically saying anything tht is not, hat. U like is unnatural and wrong and we will go to hell for our “sins” if there really I’s a God he would probably send u dumb asses to he’ll Cuz I’m pretty sure he’d be embarrassed of u hell even the devil would be wtf all of this shit better be a joke… Read more »

Lucas
Lucas
5 years ago
Reply to  Randy Wood

Randy Wood must be the best name for an anti-masturbation activist anyone could come up with.

The fuck is this site.
The fuck is this site.
3 years ago
Reply to  Lucas

Can’t decide if they’re trolling or not. This is the greatest game of troll or not a troll ever.

Notbrandon
Notbrandon
6 years ago

Does this come in adult sizes? And is there a way to lock in yourself?

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  Notbrandon

Seriously? If this is what one needs, or desires for better behavior, why not?

Kerr
Kerr
6 years ago

FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

AFTER I TOUCH MY SINZONE

Kill yourself
6 years ago

Fuck Erich, you’re a gay cunt, listen to yourself! Find a bridge and jump off please, you worthless piece of shit, seriously you’re depriving oxygen from people that could benefit from it unlike yourself and your zealous little buddies. As a religious person myself I find this whole website a fucking joke, what sane person would use this on their child? I wouldn’t wish this on “normal” people but none of you are, so I hope (fingers crossed) that maybe you can all actually be raped, so you can see what rape really is. I would spit on you, you’re… Read more »

Jesus
Jesus
6 years ago
Reply to  Kill yourself

No man. Even if this site is a complete joke; you don’t wish rape on anybody. If you knew a victim you would know it’s not funny. Self rape, sure thats hilarious… it doesn’t exist. You’re religious huh? What would your god say to you if he heard that? Way to kill the vibe with your profane hate. Jackass.

Masturbation
Masturbation
6 years ago

I know why they wanna forbid masturbation!
YOU SHALL NOT WASTE TIME TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHERS AND BECOME PARENTS AT VERY YOUNG AGE!
Let them become more and more…

Devout Worshipper of Jesus Christ. Amen
Devout Worshipper of Jesus Christ. Amen
6 years ago

As a happily married man of 15 years, my wife and I felt an overwhelming desire to express their gratitude of the creation of this God-sent product. However, since I only allow myself and my male children access the internet ( since women are too vulnerable left alone without male supervision ) , my wife will not be commenting on this video and instead my views will also express her views. As I was saying, since the production of this decency device my wife and I no longer fear the the lustful grip of Satan perverting the innocent thoughts of… Read more »

me
me
6 years ago

You keep proclaiming your children no longer have sinful thoughts due to this device…no device can take away those thoughts, only physical actions.
Your thinking is delusional & perverse.

Devout Worshipper of Jesus Christ. Amen
Devout Worshipper of Jesus Christ. Amen
6 years ago
Reply to  me

After praying long and hard on your comment, I have found your advice enlightening. I will no longer just strap my beautiful children to this holy device, I will also commence the expulsion of Satan from the innocent bodies of my offspring through the “physical actions” that you have suggested. I hope that you are proud of me O Dear Commenter as I now employ routine beatings and burnings to aid in my childrens absolvation in God’s eyes. I especially enjoy employing the burning method as I find it really scares my children from falling from God’s favour and into… Read more »

The fuck is this site.
The fuck is this site.
3 years ago

Why is everyone so butthurt over Christopher’s comments? He’s clearly a well educated, literate troll. Fucking beautiful work, sir.

Jaclyn
Jaclyn
5 years ago
Reply to  me

Whoa! I don’t even know where to start. First, I understand you trying to teach your children to obstain. However, this isn’t teaching. It is forcing. And leaving them in that for hours on end without providing their essential needs, is neglect and abuse. Second, if your children have entered puberty, they masturbate. Period. When you are not looking, they find a way. It’s a natural thing to explore your own body and to feel sexual pleasure. It should be about teaching them why they should obstain and teaching them how to. Because they won’t always be in your house.… Read more »

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  Jaclyn

Well Jaclyn, those must be two cents of pure gold and at a diameter of one foot! One of the few sincere comments here. You are right about the relationship with Christ and God, but this harness might be what somebody needs. The important thing is that the parents understand their children’s needs instead of jumping into the wrong solution. This harness might be the right solution for some, and trying it on yourself is a good way to understand what it does. I also prayed for you.

bridgetbrown
bridgetbrown
6 years ago

O.K ur extremely sick and should have ur kids taken away from u God damn how the fuck are u even allowed to have custody of your kids and wife when u obviously abuse ur wife saying that all women are to weak minded for the. internet and also abuse ur kids God they must hateeeeee you same with your wife unless she is completely brainwashed to thing ur more powerful then her smh sad sad human being

Devout Worshipper of Jesus Christ. Amen
Devout Worshipper of Jesus Christ. Amen
6 years ago
Reply to  bridgetbrown

Dear Commenter, You assault my eyes with such Satan Speak ! I furthermore do not appreciate the insults given to me when, each day, I toil and trouble to ensure my beautiful children follow the Path to God’s Palace. You seek to belittle my actions through your Stinging Slander but need I remind you I am merely God’s Vessel for which his Sacred Sentience is being channeled through. And in relation to my ” brainwashed” wife, I am happy to say she is grateful for my recommendation that she give up her job in favour of devoting every single waking… Read more »

Respectfullcommunist
Respectfullcommunist
5 years ago

1. If you thought that what somebody told you that the only way to expell pervurse ideas from a child was through beatings and BURNINGS you are no better than the people who put jesus on a cross and whipped him. 2. If you could tell me your full name i would like to report domestic abuse and child abuse. 3. The averege male thinks about sex every seven seconds you cant stop your son and just because he looks at his penis doesnt mean he is gay.

Fap4Life
Fap4Life
5 years ago

Did you read the bible? Because if Satan didn’t exist, humans would be one-minded, brainwashed creatures. Satan is the reason humans can think critically. I don’t worship any god, or Satan for that matter.

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  bridgetbrown

Bridgetbrown I must agree with you. Although women are weak in some respects, as a man I am more ashamed of the weaker minds of men, who have assaulted me more, insulted, stolen from, lied, and led me, yes, to sin more. Weak mindedness is what leads us to sin, and women are mostly on the stray path because my fellow MEN, upon whom WOMEN DEPEND, lead them astray and into sin! Thank you.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago

Hey my neighbor did that too, I heard her kid yelling something about not wanting to be locked up, being beat up by his father and being starved by the mother. Now guess who’s facing child abuse charges?

That One Guy
That One Guy
5 years ago

The joke went over so many people’s heads, it’s staggering…

That Guy
That Guy
5 years ago
Reply to  That One Guy

You’re probably the smartest guy here lol 😉

Alfons
6 years ago

comment image

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  Alfons

Alfons, can you give another link? Government doesn’t like that site.

Pavel Kozák
6 years ago

I will buy it for my 50th anniversary of my masturbatory CV.

stopmemalkuth
stopmemalkuth
6 years ago

*Side efects: A small portion of the teenagers that used this product developed a Bondage Fetish when they grow up

Randy Bstard
Randy Bstard
5 years ago

I don’t often masturbate. But when I do I beat that motherfucker like it owes me money 🙂

Elaine
Elaine
5 years ago

THIS IS NOT WHAT THIS BOARD IS USED FOR! THIS IS USED IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM TO WHEN DOING PROCEDURES ON YOUNG CHILDREN WHO MUST REMAIN STILL….COME ON PEOPLE…GET REAL

Dian Xue
Dian Xue
5 years ago

This… is perhaps the greatest comment in the history of the internet.

Attila
Attila
5 years ago

I was just masturbating while reading this. And it was soooo good!!

Rick
Rick
5 years ago

I can’t believe at how evil the Christians are to non christians and themselves. STUPID RELIGION FOR STUPID PEOPLE!!!

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  Rick

Christians are not a religion. Neither is Christ. Nor Christianity. He is the one true first Son of God but we are all children of God too. It is a relation between you, Christ and God. Nobody can tell you what to do or be. Only God.

This dirty hoe wants your dick and white delight
This dirty hoe wants your dick and white delight
5 years ago

True shit smfh

marjan393
5 years ago

we should report this website to the FBI

mightypoo
5 years ago

you people are sick

cunt gobbler
cunt gobbler
5 years ago

Why is the world filled with fucking idiots? How do you not realize that this is all satire, including what Erich Sean is saying? Are you all really THAT thick?

MaxXx
MaxXx
5 years ago

Why is there a “Pray Against” button?

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  MaxXx

Exactly Maxxxx! Aren’t we supposed to pray for all of God’s children? Even those who hurt us, blame us, lie to us, steal our belongings and belittle us?
Amen!

Jigglytata89
Jigglytata89
5 years ago

Why is it called self rape lol that’s funny and Jesus is a lie go fuck yourself

margarita
margarita
5 years ago

masturbation is natural and a wonderful form of relaxation. this gadget is a form of child abuse!
God will punish you!
this is a Satanic device!
you will all rot in hell!

Ted
Ted
6 years ago

1. Rape is non-consensual sex. If the kid choose to do it to himself then it’s not rape. This trivializes true rape.
2. Putting a kid in this thing is child abuse.

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  Ted

Consensual sex requires two or more people to consent. Rape only requires one person (the rapist) to consent. By masturbating, you are the only one consenting, hence, you are raping yourself.

Jimmy Cho
6 years ago

Masturbating is not sex. It’s masturbating.

Christina Mcierncock Rubright
Reply to  Jimmy Cho

If there is a sexual organ involved, its sex. And If its only one person involved, and that person is yourself, its incest. And unless your genitals have vocal cords and can give consent, its RAPE!

Jimmy Cho
6 years ago

Well by that rock solid logic, sex of any kind would be rape too because my Penis didn’t vocally approve this. No. That is easily the dumbest thing I’ve read all day. My (and everyone else s intelligence has been decreased by reading what you have posted. Congratulations.

Barry Wiseman
6 years ago

I urinate using my penis, a sexual organ. Are you implying I can get laid just by pissing? Wow…I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time.

Old sophist
Old sophist
6 years ago

“If there is a sexual organ involved, its sex.” Can’t disagree.

“If its only one person involved, and that person is yourself, its incest.”
Not at all. Please review the definition of incest.

“And unless your genitals have vocal cords and can give consent, its RAPE!”

In fact, it’s the other way round: my genitals demand and I consent or don’t consent.

jonghyun
6 years ago

So when you procreate with someone you got married to its still rape since your genitals don’t have a voice. And here I thought the Westboro Baptist Church was bad.

michelle d
michelle d
6 years ago

did i…am i….is this real life???

fiddlestix
6 years ago

Ok so by that logic washing your sexual organs is raping them and you wouldn’t want to do that right?

remind me not to stand too close to you !!!

Gabe Athouse
Gabe Athouse
6 years ago

LOL @ Jimmy.
The Joke
——————-
Your head
Do you guys get angry when the Onion hits too close to home also?

Peter
Peter
6 years ago

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

JC
JC
6 years ago

Whilst washing my genitals I realise I may have just water boarded them by your logic and they didn’t even make a sound.

darnel slapcock
darnel slapcock
6 years ago

Mrs rubright. My name is darnel slapcock. We should pray together all night.

LOLwut
LOLwut
6 years ago

OMG, you are so right! I never thought about it in that way. And what about the innocent hands? Aren’t they victims of this evil ploy as well? Come to think of it, is that what they mean by idle hands?

alex
alex
6 years ago

im self raping myself all over your face right now.

Dann
Dann
6 years ago

So by your logic all sex is rape, your can’t and never will be able to consent to anything so by your logic every human, every time they fuck, it’s rape.

Nathaniel
6 years ago

Christina, first off, you’re an idiot, and second off, you look more like a rapist, than anybody I’ve ever seen.

Respectfullcommunist
Respectfullcommunist
5 years ago

Your name of a sexual organ in your surname according to your logic my penis and anybody elses didnt consent so you are raping

mightypoo
5 years ago

You are retarded.

Peter
Peter
6 years ago
Reply to  Jimmy Cho

Er, I’d say: masturbation IS sex, but I don’t see how sex with yourself could be wrong!

Bo_strangles
Bo_strangles
6 years ago
Reply to  Jimmy Cho

Do they make these in adult sizes? I love bondage.

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  Bo_strangles

Bo, wonderful thought!
If you are a girl (adult) and want a partner, I’m here.

Lala
Lala
6 years ago

That was so stupid. You people are the ones that make religion seem a massive contagion of ignorance…. GOSH
Did you check what psychologist say? This is simply basic. Goddammit! Always fomenting intolerance and hatred among human beings

fiddlestix
6 years ago

No rape requires one or more person(s) to NOT consent

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  fiddlestix

Really hard to understand this sentence, but at the end, agree.
Please use better English.

David Hartley
David Hartley
6 years ago

With twisted logic like this, it is useless trying to point out your abuse of the English language

Bitchy
Bitchy
6 years ago

Nikita you seem to be a very intelligent person. How you look, what you write… I might rape myself later thinking of you….

Free Thinker.
Free Thinker.
6 years ago

Good thing I don’t choose to press charges on this dashingly good looking rapist of mine, I’m not sure if this site is pure satire or you’re all a bunch of bible-thumping numskulls. I’m praying to my lord and savior Lucifer to wipe your deadhead mind from this earth so that one day everyone may “self-rape”,be married to the same sex, or follow whatever path in life they may choose without a false deity following cult to tell them otherwise.

mightypoo
5 years ago
Reply to  Ted

yes, it is child abuse. if i ever seen a kid in one of these im calling the cops.

kiddie mcfiddlie
kiddie mcfiddlie
1 month ago
Reply to  Ted

but they look so happy, how could you deny such a wonderful experience to a child?

P
P
6 years ago

Hahhaa this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, fucking stupid ass Christians. LOL sex is fantastic.

Christina Mcierncock Rubright
Reply to  P

This is not about sex. It is about child rape molestation. Which is illegal in all 48 states!

Timothy Bruns
6 years ago

48 states? Might I ask the name of your Geography teacher so I can pray her soul never has to know of your ignorance.

Serj the Selftoucher
Serj the Selftoucher
6 years ago
Reply to  Timothy Bruns

It’s legal in the other two….duh!

synthphyle
6 years ago

Wow. Did we LOSE two states when I wasn’t looking? Was it like when scientists decided that Pluto was no longer a planet? Pluto probably shrunk because of Galactic Warming due to all the friction generated by all the masturbating going on!

Nick Tamere
5 years ago
Reply to  synthphyle

Pluto shrunk because of the wickedness on earth and so many evil childres masturbating and abusing themselves.

Lala
Lala
6 years ago

Would you agree that ‘child molestation’ is stopping and frustrating the normal course of the sexual discovery of a child? Or would you call stopping the normal course in name of goddamn prejuices, which will later cause REAL sexual deviations?’

laughing at stupid people
laughing at stupid people
6 years ago

Wow. You are a true troll, teach me in your arts

Katie Redelinghuys
Katie Redelinghuys
6 years ago

You are so ignorant; you need to go back to school because clearly you have no idea of what sex is.Crawl back under the rock you came from, you’d do us all a huge favour.

Johnny C
Johnny C
6 years ago

Yes, this makes sense. Let’s immobilize our children to “prevent” rape. Ever seen silence of the lambs? This is how the red dragon is born. You people are sick, twisted fucks.

franzgaul
6 years ago

Dear Christina, I’m jacking off to your pic right now as we speak.
Kind regards

Oscar Otero  (@oaotero)

Christina rub me, right?

Person26
Person26
6 years ago

Wow… im an European and even i know that the United States of America has 50 states… you are freaking pathetic.

Danny Featherstone
6 years ago

Im finding very hard to keep my hands of my sin stick while looking at your profile pic Christina…. I need help

Korean Jesus
Korean Jesus
6 years ago

Jacking off to your pic right now!

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago

What two states are those? I want to know NOW!

Sarah
Sarah
6 years ago
Reply to  P

All this thing needs is a gag across the mouth and those good Christians can use this device to molest children. Are they marketing it to priests for the alter boys?

jhonny
jhonny
6 years ago

wow, you are a special kind of stupid, aren’t you?….

yolo butt swaggington
yolo butt swaggington
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Jesus was a alcoholic and people that jerk the gerkin are! Logic! What about his prostitute friends

Jimmy Rustler
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Just #rustlemyjimmies. Happy? Your a special kind of special kind of idiot

the President
the President
6 years ago
Reply to  Jimmy Rustler

Im the president and I approve this message

Jesus H. Christ
6 years ago

I’m masturbating to this website right now. True story. I’m gonna blow my load all over a pic of the Virgin Mary too. Give her the ole Divine Money shot.

God
God
6 years ago

That’s how I made you Jesus! I could not taint marys little virgin pussy with my massive, throbbing god cock; so I did the right thing and just fucked her titties while I watched Mohammed fuck her ass; and than blew the cum into her dirty middle-world hair canyon to save everyone. Come to think of it, after you left she turned into a total whore. I would materialize into a new animal every weekend; and she would fuck me like the rapture just ended. Even took a barbed lion shaft for forty five minutes once. That woman was… one… Read more »

clearly smarter than you fools.
clearly smarter than you fools.
6 years ago

The fact that this exists is appalling. The fact that people actually support the use of this is so mind boggling, I think I am now dumber for having visited a website that people like this frequent. I’m horrified. Any parent who puts a child in a restraint like this deserves to have their children removed by CPS.

the President
the President
6 years ago

Im the president and I approve this message!

Cathy Redmond
6 years ago

This going to be this year’s “Tickle Me Elmo” at Christmas time. You may think this is “appalling” or “dumb” but you won’t think it’s very dumb when your children are literally begging for one this November and Brother Lonnie is sold out until 2015. Way to ruin Christmas for your kids.

Praise.

fiddlestix
6 years ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

Tell me what kind of gifts do your children normally get that they would be begging for this instead?

the President
the President
6 years ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

Im the president, and this bitch needs jesus

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

Cathy, love you, pray for you.

SIXOFHEARTS22
SIXOFHEARTS22
6 years ago

I am currently masturbating and worshipping my dark lord; satan while also listening to black death metal. Also, this weed is strong, man.

synthphyle
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Sorry, Erich, but Satan BOTTOMS to me. And he LOVES being sodomized by me!

wwjd
wwjd
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

comment image brother look at this photo of our savior jesus Christ and pray with me

darren
darren
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Oh ok your a christan yet you wish hell to people ok. Where the fuck does it say you cant masturbate

fiddlestix
6 years ago
Reply to  darren

great point, just searched the new and old testaments and couldn’t find any mention of it

Milton Grits
6 years ago
Reply to  fiddlestix

Bro do u evn Bible? It’s called the sin of Onan

Didde
Didde
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

I’m going to enjoy it so hard that even you will feel it

Gregzinoo
Gregzinoo
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

Your actually a Skank… You Useless Cunt Go Rape a Cat You Fucking Weird Jahova Slag, Go Out and Have a Laugh And Have Fun with your life instead of pretending Your the one making the rules here and Telling people they are raping themselves, Go and Actually Get some Friends…

derpyrabbit
derpyrabbit
6 years ago
Reply to  Gregzinoo

I aM a FaGgOt WhO cApItAlLiZeS lEtTeRs RaNdOmLy FoR nO oThEr ReAsOn ThAn BeCaUsE i Am A sKaNkY wHoRe WhO wAnTs To WaTcH sOmE sKaNkY cLoSeT hOmOsExUaL fUnDiE rAeP a CaT iN tHe AsS aNd CuM iN iTs BuTtHoLe LiKe In SoMe ShItTy YiFf MoViE tHaT i FaP tO rEgUlArLy WhIlE ShOvInG a ViBrAtInG BuTtPlUg Up My AsS aNd I aLsO wRiTe FuCkInG bOrInG rUn On SeNtAnCeS tHe SiZe Of LoNg MaThEmAtIcAl PrOoFs AnD cOuLdNt ReCoGnIsE a GaY tRoLl On A sAtIrE WeBsItE tO sAvE mY oWn MaNgY aSs AnD aLsO cAnT uSe ThE pUnCtUaTiOn Erich probably has fundie parents… Read more »

Jdjsbusjsbsjsm
Jdjsbusjsbsjsm
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

I guess you’re the reason why bin laden bombs peoble

the President
the President
6 years ago
Reply to  Jdjsbusjsbsjsm

Im the president and I take blame for that, but he is the reason I gave the orders!

D051327D
D051327D
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

YOU, and all the other extreme religious people on this forum are the reason people turn from, or hate religion! God had two absolute rules “LOVE people, LOVE God”. If you want to live in good morals, and really want to change the world for the better, perhaps you should knock off the high-&-mighty, holy-art-thou, I’m-better-then-every-person-who-isn’t-me attitude, and try being more accepting of people, not to say you have to accept their choices. Jesus was friendly to EVERYONE, He loved EVERYONE!!!! No matter what people’s choices are YOU have NO right to judge or condem people to Hell!! Leave that… Read more »

Jackson
Jackson
3 years ago
Reply to  D051327D

Even if you leave them alone, they do not leave you alone.

Julian Taylor
6 years ago
Reply to  SIXOFHEARTS22

You sure showed us by coming here to confess your current ungodly pursuits – that’s a very original sentiment btw, your masturbating while reading our holy netsite. I sure wouldn’t have thought to type that! 🙂

Carlos Danger
6 years ago

I’m getting one for my non same race wife. Who knows what tomfoolery she’s up to while I’m at work. I don’t trust anyone with darker skin than me.

notsaying
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

pouhaha this website is the funniest thing I have ever read! You guys should show this in a comedy club you would make millions!!! Especially this retarded Erich Sean guy!!! Wow really I just cant stop laughing when reading this idiot! Keep on the retarded comments you are just proving the world that you sir are one hell of an idiot! On a side note by looking at his ugly ass face I can imagine that he must really need this shit if I where as ugly as him I sure as hell would be masturbating all the time and… Read more »

God
God
6 years ago
Reply to  notsaying

I completely agree

Me
Me
6 years ago
Reply to  God

Sorry, I just had to pray against you god. I hope you understand.

Satan
Satan
6 years ago
Reply to  Erich Sean

this has to be a fucking joke right?..pls tell me this is satire

Katie Redelinghuys
Katie Redelinghuys
6 years ago
Reply to  Carlos Danger

Hahaha you’re being sarcastic, right??

jonghyun
6 years ago
Reply to  Carlos Danger

Bahahabababab

darren
darren
6 years ago
Reply to  Carlos Danger

You racist. How can you not trust them just becaues the complexion is different. Really your not a good person. And if you cant trust your one wif we than why are you mareied and why does it matter there color

Mikkel Jürs
Mikkel Jürs
6 years ago
Reply to  darren

Clearly, you didn’t get it Darren. LOL

David Hartley
David Hartley
6 years ago
Reply to  darren

I’ve got nothing against black people. Every white family should be permitted to own two

clearly smarter than you fools.
clearly smarter than you fools.
6 years ago

I can’t tell if Cathy is joking and making fun of this, or if she’s drinking the kool-aid and likes it, but I’m going to go with joking, because that’s the only way I can seriously take any comparison of this contraption to Elmo, LOL! So, cheers, Cathy. well played. 🙂

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
6 years ago

Damn Christians are fucking stupid.

Ifsatanhadamistress
Ifsatanhadamistress
6 years ago

But the guy that thinks this website is real is really intelligent

WankingWithKids
WankingWithKids
6 years ago

For real… The only thing that continues to surprise me about this website is the number of absolute full retards getting their panties all in a bunch because they don’t realize it’s a joke.

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago

Prostate cancer and other masturbation related STDs are hardly a joking matter.

philip
philip
6 years ago

Cancer is an STD? Really? And how exactly can a disease be transmitted through masturbation? Transmittion can only happen when two or more people are involved.. You are not even trying to think are you

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  philip

Chronic masturbators often resort to drug use in order to cope with guilt and shame associated with trauma of repeated self-rape cycles. It won’t take long before you catch the AIDS from sharing dirty condoms with your roommates under the bridge.

Julian Taylor
6 years ago

Masturbation is the gateway drug to homosexuality, and brother Nikita has had heartbreaking first hand experience in attempting to nurse homogay masturbaters back to spiritual health. When the soul is unhealthy it is not long before the body becomes equally unhealthy, and this is most frequently evident with the big C and the AIDS penance.

Bless.

HolyMotherOfStupidness
HolyMotherOfStupidness
6 years ago

Ejaculating frequently actually helps preventing prostate cancer, There’s a REAL research on the matter, look for it.

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago

Wrong, pervert. Once the masturbation has made you a gay, you will be spending most of your free time having rough unprotected anal with complete strangers. It’s only a matter of time before you catch prostate cancer in a dirty bathroom stall.

Matt
Matt
6 years ago

Pretty sure masturbation is the only true way to be sure not to get an STD. Thank you your ignorance knows no bounds

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  Matt

Chronic masturbators often resort to drug use in order to cope with guilt and shame associated with trauma of repeated self-rape cycles. It won’t take long before you catch the AIDS from sharing dirty condoms with your roommates under the bridge.

David
David
6 years ago

Says the man with a nude picture of him on his profile

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  David

David, I can’t help it if I look great because I eat smart and never masturbate. Maybe you can stop player hating, let go of your penis, and get a gym membership.

AikoNight
AikoNight
6 years ago

STD= Sexually Transmitted Disease.. 0.o How do you get an STD from masturbating? Oh right YOU CAN’T!! lol

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  AikoNight

Chronic masturbators often resort to drug use in order to cope with guilt and shame associated with trauma of repeated self-rape cycles. It won’t take long before you catch the AIDS from sharing dirty condoms with your roommates under the bridge.

McVitas
McVitas
6 years ago

No, people just stop masturbating or do it much less when they mature. Simply because it stops being that good as it was before! There is no reason to be ashamed, because everybody does it or have been.

AikoNight
AikoNight
6 years ago

No no no, you got it all wrong. Would you like me to draw a picture, so you understand? Anyone have any markers, this little boy Nikita needs to learn the basic 101 of sex, and masturbation.

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  AikoNight

Will this picture involve a penis? You strike me as someone who likes to draw penis. And look at penis. Penis.

The chronic masturbator
The chronic masturbator
6 years ago

Are you fucking retarded? Cancer isn’t an std you fucktard,you can’t get cancer from having sex you moronic assplunger.And how can masturbation turn you gay you moronic dipshit? I’m straight and i have a girlfriend, and i’ve masturbated before,where is your cold hard evidence ranger dick.

the President
the President
6 years ago

The only thing nikita be shalavin is dick down his throat. He hates when u masterbate because that takes from the cum loads he gets to guzzle.
Im the president and he sucked my slong ryin to get me to stop masterbating. Just sayin, my hand works so much better. Trim the goatee. We dont like bush

Peter
Peter
6 years ago

I wish it were a joke, but I don’t have the feeling it is! Did you read the comments of this Nikita-fucker and this Erich-moron?

Peter
Peter
6 years ago
Reply to  Peter

How do I get 40 “pray against” within the 5 sex… sorry: secs I posted it?

McVitas
McVitas
6 years ago
Reply to  Peter

this counter is somehow fucked up. You get exactly 32 pray against immediately. Is there a contact directly to webmaster so he can fix it?

Mr. Bates
Mr. Bates
6 years ago
Reply to  Peter

I know! And his name: Eric Sean? Sounds like “Erection”! What a self-raper. Hail Satan.

Katie Redelinghuys
Katie Redelinghuys
6 years ago

Not all of us 🙁 I think this is the biggest load of bull I have ever seen, too, and I’m Christian. But this… It’s just ridiculous. It’s no wonder we are constantly viewed as idiots. I’m still trying to decide if this website is a joke or if they are being serious. If it’s the latter, I feel very, very sorry for them. Honestly. To live with such hate and prejudice… I have no words haha

Grell Sutcliff
Grell Sutcliff
6 years ago

Ok, that thing is basically restraining a child and therefore it is child abuse. Masturbation is NOT rape. Rape is if your are forced to do it against your will! Why would someone even make this. Yes, I respect your religion but this is going way far. Masturbation is actually considered healthy and natural, especially for teenagers. Here’s some links proving my point. Educate your self!

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/masturbation-facts
http://www.menshealth.com/health/health-and-sexual-benefits-masturbation
http://teenadvice.about.com/library/bl10thingsmasturbation.htm

Ifsatanhadamistress
Ifsatanhadamistress
6 years ago
Reply to  Grell Sutcliff

Calm down you idiot the whole website is a joke.

Timothy Bruns
6 years ago

Considering some of the billboard signs actually payed for by Christian interest groups…

Still not sure how many of the commenters are trolling… and how many are serious…

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  Timothy Bruns

Let us know once you get to the bottom of this mystery. Let’s not take any chances.

i just sprayed my load on your face

if you are serious then miss you need real help!!! Try holding you breath for a few minutes and letting some of your brain matter die you may become smarter that way… You are clearly not on the right path at this moment. Masturbation leads to std and drug use wow… What leads to drug use and masturbation is idiots like you that dont have a real clue of how things work in life! Use this on one of your kids and your sure to bring a serial rapist or murder with huge drug abuse problems. Masturbation is normal as… Read more »

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago

Dear Masturbator,

You’re not making ANY sense, which is typical of a chronic self-rapist. Please try to calm down and explain what is it that you are really trying to say.

the President
the President
6 years ago

Dear niki. And yes I remember u loved when I called u niki when u tried to show me masterbation wasnt right, u know exactly what hes talking about.
Im the president and I approve my message

McVitas
McVitas
6 years ago

This comment is usefull for all those who take it seriously although the website is a joke 😉

Peter
Peter
6 years ago
Reply to  McVitas

It’s not a joke, I’m afraid, though I’d wish it were! Read their stupid comments, you’ll see!

areyoufaqin'serious?
areyoufaqin'serious?
6 years ago

Nikita, are you serious? If you are, I am sorry for your ignorance. Raping requires two people. If all of the people involved agree to have sex it is not rape. Masturbarion involves 1 person.

Peter
Peter
6 years ago
Reply to  Grell Sutcliff

Masturbation Masturbation is not evil, dirty or harmful – it will not make you go blind, drive you insane, turn you in to a pervert, stunt your growth, give you an STD, make you sterile or get you pregnant. Both guys and girls masturbate, it is a normal and healthy part of sexual development. Masturbation is a very personal thing and should not be done in public places or around people who are not willing partners (think safer sex activity). You are normal if you masturbate, normal if you wonder about it but don’t do it, and normal if you… Read more »

Jesus
6 years ago

Dear sweet me this has to be some kind of joke. You do realize that if you don’t let your kid whack it at night, he’s just going to find other, less safe places to spank his little monkey. Hell, I rub on out in the bathroom stall at work on occasion.

Squirrel
Squirrel
6 years ago

Wait. This is a joke, right? Come on, it’s gotta be…. That’s fuckin’ child abuse! Let a fucking kid be a kid, for fucks sake. All this Christianity bullshit is what is what drives children to kill kids and go insane!

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  Squirrel

Masturbating children is funny to you? What are you? Some kind of pedophile comedian?

McVitas
McVitas
6 years ago

funny or not. Disallowing children to explore their body only leads to sexual dysfunctions and traumas in maturity and THAT is not funny!

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago
Reply to  McVitas

Masturbation is the biggest sexual dysfunction of all. If we can stop masturbation, we will stop prostate cancer, AIDS and Homogayness!

you offend me
you offend me
6 years ago

Oh dear, you’re a special kind of Stupid aren’t you. You think AIDS is a result of masturbation? Really? You’re the same kind of idiot who back in the 80’s thought it was something that only affected the homosexual community. Not that i’ve checked the facts (though obviously, niether have you), but if anything, masturbation, and therefore a regular release of semen can possibly avert prostate cancer – not cause it.