It’s never too early to save their soul

The FaithFact Engineers have finally solved the age old dilemma of how to teach your infant not to masturbate. With this effective, yet stylishly functional centerpiece, you can proudly display your self-rape free Christian values and keep an eye on your little ones while keeping Satan from tempting them to Shake their little SinSticks or go Spelunking in their tiny SinCaves.

Each handsome centerpiece is lovingly handcrafted by our Normal Same Race Branch Lonvidian craftsmen, hand finished by our lesser gendered female members, and made in the USA.

Only $199 and comes with a Stop Masturbation Now seal of approval.

Order Now 785-273-0325

God Bless, TheRev Leroy Jenkins

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TheRev Leroy Jenkins
About TheRev Leroy Jenkins 36 Articles
TheRev Leroy Jenkins was born the oldest of 13 children in a small farm town of Sweet Apple, Oh. While on the farm he learned to fear god, a woman's place is in the kitchen, a mans place is to be the head of the household, and masturbation is a sin. At 18 TheRev left his small town and moved to Seattle to attend college, while there he was tempted by some filthy pot-weed injecting hippies to try masturbations, this led to a downward spiral of ellis dee bong hits, pot weed injections, listening to Milli Vanilli, and holding a sign saying "Will self rape for McNuggets." He was at his lowest point in his life when he was saved by Lonnie Childs of the Stop Masturbation Now church, Lonnie took him in, bathed him in his Holy Golden Shower of Truth, and educated him in FaithFacts™ and Brother Lonnie's University of FaithFacts™ in Stafford, AZ. TheRev was an avid student and earned his PHD of FaithFacts™ from B.L.U.FF and was sent out on a Mission to spread Lonnie's word to heathen Amish-Mexicans in rural Ohio. TheRev now resides in Ohio and runs the Ohio B.L.U.FF campus in Homersville, Oh with his 5 Same Race Assigned Spouses and his 23 Normal children. Brother Leroy is Senior Staff writer for B.L.U.FF Press LLC. In 2011 TheRev was awarded The Pulitzer Prize and Edward G. Murrow Award for his in depth expose' on the Myth of the Female Orgasm.
Contact: Website

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