We must be ever vigilant in the war against Big Masturbation. They want to turn our children into self-rapists any chance they get. Well, now there is a program designed to strengthen their bodies, minds and souls. Karate Khrist & Kids is a Lonnie Childs approved program, which will not only help you save your children from self-rape, but help save America from the Liberals and fake Christians out there. If you have a child that you think might be raping themselves, this program is for you. Not only will they be too tired from all the karate, but their minds will be inspired by the Holy Bible, so there is 99.9% chance that their desires to self-rape will be gone. For those of you that are concerned about karate being a communist Japanese sport of Devil worshiping, have no fear. Lonnie has completely vetted this organization, and made sure that there is zero commie Jap brainwashing involved. Regular karate is a slippery Slope(no pun intended) to communism and anime pornography, but this is Holy Karate. Join now!
Always remember to think about your kids before you masturbate. It might save their life and soul. May God and Lonnie bless most of you.