Karate Khrist and Kids: A New Program to Keep Your Kids Off Self-Rape

The best way to keep your kid's hands busy is reading the Bible, or karate.

We must be ever vigilant in the war against Big Masturbation. They want to turn our children into self-rapists any chance they get. Well, now there is a program designed to strengthen their bodies, minds and souls. Karate Khrist & Kids is a Lonnie Childs approved program, which will not only help you save your children from self-rape, but help save America from the Liberals and fake Christians out there. If you have a child that you think might be raping themselves, this program is for you. Not only will they be too tired from all the karate, but their minds will be inspired by the Holy Bible, so there is 99.9% chance that their desires to self-rape will be gone. For those of you that are concerned about karate being a communist Japanese sport of Devil worshiping, have no fear. Lonnie has completely vetted this organization, and made sure that there is zero commie Jap brainwashing involved. Regular karate is a slippery Slope(no pun intended) to communism and anime pornography, but this is Holy Karate. Join now!

Always remember to think about your kids before you masturbate. It might save their life and soul. May God and Lonnie bless most of you.

About Bruce Danus 14 Articles
Bruce Danus is a lifelong lover of Jesus and different types of cheeses. He has saved thousands of souls from burning in Hell, by riding public transportation and preaching the word of God and Lonnie Childs. He has traveled to many Third World Countries like Detroit and East L.A. to save masturbators from Double Hell, and bring them clean water.
Contact: Website

26 Comments on Karate Khrist and Kids: A New Program to Keep Your Kids Off Self-Rape

      • None of this is fake. Lonnie has no reason to lie to you or anyone else. There is entirely zero motive for him to post anything but 100% Faith Fact here on his site.

        • “Dr.” Tightanus and his faith facts… So what are you people? Some kind of ultra-perverted ass-lovers with a fetish for bullshit or are you just plain stupid?

      • I saw photos of Bruce’s black belt online. He could prove it too if that was even worth his precious time, sinner. Because he hasn’t linked you to the photographic proof just means he already knows it would be a waste of bandwidth.

        • I won’t believe it until I see him in action, because then he could just get a pic from the Internet, or borrow one from a friend, so unless I see him do black belt style moves in person, with DNA science labatories proving its him, I’ll believe him

        • Give your mail-adress and i will show you my big love-stick! BTW, EVERYTHING that is on the internet is true… witch pretty much sums up your own eternal stupidity! Keep on the good work, laughin my ass of!

    • Oh yes, also Japan isn’t communist, it has a capitalist market, and a constitutional monarchy, but seeing how you are uneducated, a constitutional monarchy is a government system that has a king, queen, or emperor in Japan’s case, but their position is for show and the real power is democratically elected body similar to the U.S. Congress or British Parliment

      • For a “Smart Guy”, you are pretty stupid. Japan is a state in the Communist Country of China, along with Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia and the Philippines. You can see it with your own eyes, everyone from those places are the same sub-species, which is why they all look similar.

        • Japan is it’s own independent country, it’s waters are polluted due to a leak in nuclear power plants from the tsunamis a couple years ago, but I think they cleaned that up, I don’t remember, I should check…

        • DING DING DING!!!! WE HAVE A WINNER! Please don´t have children, ok? But i think with this face you ain´t gonna get laid anyway….

      • As proven on this very site, Japan has contaminated their ocean due to the vast amounts of masturbator semen that continually flows outward from their country towards America. It really doesn’t matter if they are communist or a socialist like Obama – either way they are on a selfish path of destruction that will harm people in normal places soon if they haven’t already.

  1. I am loving those KKK moves. Oh Lord, yes indeed. Praise! Looks like something I could accomplish even while wearing my BLUFF approved, loose linen white smock.

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