MASTURBATION ALERT! Bert Strips Pose a Clear and Present Self-Rape Threat

B.L.U.F.F. Members and SMN Oath Takers Urged to take Proper Masturbation Prevention Precautions

B.L.U.F.F. (Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts) has raised the overall self rape level to Orange-Imminent Threat of Self-Rape detected.

The Facebook Rise of the Butthurt has published a series of “Bertstrips.” These crude cartoons pose an imminent threat of self rape!

The following is official information from the B.L.U.F.F. Self-Rape Emergency Broadcast System:

Self-rape activity has been detected and confirmed as a result of exposure to this facebook.

Please use caution. Place proper software locks on the facebook to prevent females, children, minorities, and other weak-minded individuals from viewing the content. Remove them from the room before viewing the content below.

bertstrips

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Cassidy Pen
About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O'Reily "No-Spin" Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.
Contact: Website

6 Comments on MASTURBATION ALERT! Bert Strips Pose a Clear and Present Self-Rape Threat

  1. Thank you, Brother Cassidy, my Holy timeline has now been adjusted to prevent these lewd images from appearing on it.

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  2. Thanks for the heads up, Brother Cassidy! I contacted Children's Workshop and PBS and filed formal complaints about these strips they're posting on Facebook. They tried to play off that they weren't behind the Butthurt Facebook page but I think they were really sweating that I was on to the scheme they were trying to pull.

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  3. Brother Ken Day,
    Its great men like yourself sir who consistently take a stand against the Godless sodomites behind Children's Workshop and PBS. Several months ago I was looking into this facebook page... "Rise of the Butthurt," to determine who runs this factory of illegal porn that daily disseminates its filth on facebook as I was considering doing an investigative piece on these perverts for the National Report. The story was never run mostly because I spent 6 weeks trying to confirm who runs this page with very little success. When I first began my search for the owner I quickly was put in touch with "Carlos" who I later learned was part of a Mexican drug cartel. From there I was put through the ringer after Carlos emailed me the name "Sockdawg" with an address in Arizona. I went to the address, a private residence in Phoenix and from there was passed around to a dozen shifty go-betweens who were clearly involved in the Phoenix underground world of drugs, prostitution and kiddy porn. Eventually I was put in touch with some dirty gook in China who claimed to be the owner of the Butthurt page. We'd agreed to do an online interview the next day. But I learned the Chinaman had been killed by an assassin within hours of my contacting him. I'm sure the FB page is run by some pretty dark people who are willing to kill to protect the Butthurt page. If you continue your quest to lean more about them due caution is well advised. I posted the link to the Butthurt page here so all your readers at SMN came familiar themselves with the URL in order to avoid it.
    https://www.facebook.com/RiseoftheButthurt

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