Masturbation Prevention

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19 NAS

Today’s culture loves to promote the lie that we own our body and God is cool with us misusing it. However, in the Bible, God says our body is His temple and He’s not cool with us misusing it. Unfortunately, most people disobey God and trespass on and vandalize His temple by treating it like a carnival bumper car, recklessly crashing into things while laughing and hollering, “whoo-hoo!”

A carnival bumper car? That sounds extreme. Can you prove it?

To prove this point do an image/video Google search of the following: people laying in tanning beds, burning tattoos into skin, smoking cigarettes, self-cutting, binging and purging, jamming dirty needles into veins, engaging in premarital sex, doing bestiality, performing necrophilia, and hardcore masturbating. By viewing these pics/videos you’ll see that people actually do these things for fun. And as you might have guessed, God is not a fan of any of those behaviors and prefers you not do them.

Can’t I just do like two or three of those every now and then?

Sure. If you like, you can do them all – everyday. Of course, that decision would make God frown. But since He created us with free-will, you can do whatever you want. However, God dishes out severe consequences to those who do things He doesn’t like.

Why does God dislike those behaviors?  

God answers this question in 1 Corinthians 3:17 NIV, “If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.” As you can see, God doesn’t like those behaviors because they damage His temple, your body. Tanning beds cause peeling skin,  tattoos cause infection, cigarettes discolor teeth, binging and purging causes a sore throat, premarital sex spreads licebestiality spreads rabies, necrophilia spreads gastroenteritis, and masturbation causes the following (according to research done by Christian Courtship):

Masturbation effects list

A Few of the Many Effects of Masturbation on the Body (according to research done by Christian Courtship)

This study along with personal experience proves masturbation is a direct attack on God’s temple. And since God says He’ll destroy those who harm His temple (your body), it’s important to not masturbate.

But how do I not masturbate?

It’s impossible to prevent any harmful behavior without guidelines. For instance, before speed limits were imposed, the number one killer was high speed car crashes. To solve this problem the police invented speed limit signs. Within years, the vehicle fatality rate dropped to 9th place. However, the government refuses to enforce laws to prevent masturbation. So, if you want to obey God by respecting His temple then you must impose the guidelines.

What do you mean by guidelines? 

Over the years, my mom and I discovered guidelines, which, if followed, guarantee you a life free of masturbation. We’ve saved you the hard work so there’s no need to reinvent the wheel. So if you’re thinking, You know what? I want to obey God by respecting His temple. Plus, I don’t want insomnia or rheumatism or fluid retention or any of the other consequences God gives to masturbators. If that’s you, then adhere to the following guidelines:

(I created the left column, my mom created the middle column, and together we created the right column)

(Print a copy to tape on your bathroom mirror and a copy to store in your wallet or purse)

Well, that seems easy enough. Can I start tomorrow?

Procrastination is Satan’s favorite tool. So, I suggest you immediately print out and enforce the guidelines.

But what if my printer is broken?

If that’s the case, email the table to a friend/relative/coworker and ask them to print it then you can drive over and pick it up.

That’s a great idea! I’ll do that.

Excellent. And please email me your testimony and tell me how abstaining from yourself has changed your life. In the meantime, check out the video (below) by my buddy, Big Tony – he plays the hardcore anti-masturbation song, “The Big M” by the Christian punk band, Lust Control.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtSYOvotta8]

 

22 Comments on Masturbation Prevention

  1. 2 things:
    1. I’ve masturbated for years and never had any side effects
    2. Why do you believe in the Bible. It’s the 21st century. You don’t need a 2000 year old books for answers.

    • Hey, thanks for taking the time to check my post. I’ll try my best to address your concerns.

      So, you say you’ve masturbated for years without any side effects. First off, are you aware that your comment is published online for the whole world to see? How embarrassing. But maybe you don’t care. It’s common for sinners to brag about their destructive behavior and maybe that’s what you’re doing. You sounds like my friend, Greg, who is currently strung out on crack cocaine and heroin. The other day he was telling me how much he loved to shoot heroin then smoke crack then walk around town with his sleeves rolled up so he could show-off his track-marks. I then suggested it’d be a good idea to quit the drugs. His response to me was, “I’ve been smoking crack and shooting heroin for years and never had any side effects.” Sound familiar? It’s called denial and it all sounds the same.

      So, although Greg is blind to the harm he’s causing himself, I can see it clearly. Since he took up drugs he started smelling really bad – it’s gross. But he didn’t notice it till I started telling him that every time I saw him. It takes a good friend to shoot straight with you.

      I do believe that you think you haven’t experienced any side effects from masturbating. But that doesn’t mean you haven’t had any side effects. To find out the truth you need to ask your family/friends/co-workers if/what negative effects they have seen/smelled since you started masturbating. But be prepared to be shocked.

      Oh yeah, and your second point about the Bible. I’m not much of a scholar so I’d have to ask my pastor to answer that one. If you give me your email address I can have him message you a rebuttal to your statement.

      And lastly, I think you clicking on a post titled, Masturbation Prevention, then reading it and commenting on it – I think it’s a cry for help. Please tell me if I’m wrong.

      Thanks again and have a Happy Black Friday – I hope you found some great deals today!

      In His grip,

      Jake Zimmermann
      saveportlandfromhell.com

      • Ok, masturbation has only good effects, no bad ones and is perfectly healthy. I’m married, my wife would’ve said something if I had any of these “side effects”. Also, I’m not crying for help, and I didn’t go Black Friday shopping, I detest it. My nephew was trampled to death 2 1/2 years ago when he was working at target, he was only 19.

        • A Smart Guy [does not masturbate],

          You made some interesting (and alarming) comments and I’ll address them but first I want to say one quick thing.

          I’m very passionate about masturbation prevention because I’ve seen masturbation destroy lives.

          For instance, my friend, Stuart began masturbating when he was 19. Before this he was a normal, happy kid with friends, a good job at the local ice cream parlor and healthy hobbies like tossing a ball back and forth with a friend. Everyone liked him because he was nice, happy and he gave out free ice cream. But then one day he overheard some of the older boys talking about masturbation and how “fun” and “thrilling” it was. This sparked his curiosity so he went home and tried it out for the first time. He liked it so much. He began masturbating once a month, then once a week, then thrice a week, then once a day, then twice a day. Eventually, he got to the point where he was sexually attacking himself 3-4 times a day.

          Over the course of the two years this took place, he was fired from his job, lost all his friends, stopped tossing the ball, put on 65 lbs, turned pale, his fingers became claw-like, and he accrued thousands of dollars of debt by racking up credit cards with charges from some sick online pornography, which he watched everyday by himself while he was locked in his room in the basement of his mom’s house. He told me all this one night when he broke down crying as we spoke over the phone. At that stage in his addiction he was so gross and smelly that no one wanted to be around him. I don’t even know why I answered his phone call that night.

          Anyhow, a week after that phone call Sturat died . . . alone with his pornography and masturbation toys next/inside him. His mom found him and was so grossed out and ashamed that she lost her mind and burned down the house.

          So that’s the quick thing I wanted to say. It’s a sad story because if he had followed my masturbation prevention guidelines he’d be alive today still serving ice cream and tossing a ball.

          So the reason I take your case so seriously is because I don’t want you to end up like Stuart. And from what I hear, you’re heading down the same sick, twisted, and gross path. My hope is that you still have friends and that one or more of them will stage an intervention on you. Maybe get you into a treatment facility.

          Unfortunately, it sounds like your wife is unable to support you as she is caught in the same destructive behavior that you are. This would be the only explanation for why she hasn’t noticed the negative effects masturbation has had on you.

          It’s no different then the story about my friend Greg – the guy who smokes crack and shoots heroin. See, his girlfriend also smokes crack and shoots heroin. One time she crashed out on my bedroom couch in my mom’s house. The next morning I woke her up and told her that we should pick up Greg and drop him off at a drug rehab facility. I told her that Greg was a jerk, he looked like a strung-out zombie and that he probably had diseases and stuff. She said, “no way, he has never had any negative side effects from crack or heroin. Only good effects. It is perfectly healthy and we are both in good shape.” Sound familiar? It’s called denial and it all sounds the same. And if your wife is in denial about her situation then she is in denial about your situation. And it’s obvious you are in denial or else you could recognize and admit that yes, you are crying out for help – it’s OK – in fact, it’s crucial if you want to live. And if you don’t believe that masturbation is deadly, just Google the name, Zheng Gang – and you’ll see what I mean.

          Masturbation is nothing to joke about. It is dead serious. And we never even discussed the negative effects masturbation has on your mind and soul. We’ll save that for another post.

          I hope this message helps put you face to face with the reality of your situation. And I hope you decide to get help or follow my masturbation prevention guidelines. Please keep me informed on your progress or descent.

          In His Grip,

          Jake Z

          p.s. And I’m sorry you had a bad Black Friday experience. I’m guessing you didn’t start till the afternoon, in which you probably had a hard time finding parking and lost out on all the good deals. Where time did you start? And where did you go?

          p.p.s. And sorry to hear about your nephew – that sucks.

          p.p.p.s. And thanks for warning me about the dangers of shopping at Target on a Black Friday. But I hate Target and would never shop there. But thanks for the heads up anyways. I pass the word around for next year.

          • No I don’t go at all. And masturbation is perfectly healthy. I’ve taken courses in biology in high school, and my wife (used to be) a doctor. She can confirm it, she took human anatomy classes in college.

  2. God is an illusion invented to cause believers to become so annoying that get their brains blown out by people who know better.

  3. I think the funniest thing I have read today was ” I have seen masturbation ruin lives.” And I read the bible today, some really funny stuff in there. Note I also really like the video you guys provided had a very red neck looking guy with a CONFEDERATE FLAG in the background. I guess it is cool to know a Christian site uses a persons video who supports a flag that was a symbol supporting slavery.

    • Bobbies,

      Your first statement really scares me. To help you understand the severity or your comment let’s do a little experiment. Lets replace the word, masturbation, with other equally destructive behaviors. Hopefully, this gets you to think a little bit.

      I think the funniest thing I have read today was “I have seen texting and driving ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was “I have seen marijuana ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was “I have seen ouija boards ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was “I have seen time bombs ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was “I have seen bathtub meth ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was “I have seen magic the gathering ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was, “I have seen rocket launchers ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was, “I have seen necromancy ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was, “I have seen kidnappers ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was, “I have seen poison ruin lives”
      I think the funniest thing I have read today was, “I have seen forks in wall sockets ruin lives”

      Now tell me how this sounds:

      I think the funniest thing I have read today was, “I have seen masturbation ruin lives”

      Having an Aha!.Moment?

      Masturbation is dangerous. Anyone who thinks it’s funny has a sick sense of humor.

      In His Grip,

      Jake Z

      p.s. I’m glad you think Big Tony’s flag is cool. I gave it to him as a gift a few years ago to celebrate his baptism.

      • You know whats the funniest thing I’ve read today was Jake? Masturbation is dangerous.
        I also find it funny how much effort you put in to your trolling

  4. Your idiots, God says don’t lie or judge yet that’s what your doing. God also gave us free will yet you try to take it away. I can’t scratch my testicles for more the 2 seconds or I’m harming God’s temple. Your fanatics I’ve masturbated for over ten years, I’ve done it with other people, yet my sex drive is high, strong erections, and I can’t see how the he’ll does touching myself cause cancer. Who ever made this site is a complete fool, for instance if a person feels the need for a release is it better to touch yourself or touch someone else. Cutting masturbation outta peoples lives force them to find different way. You don’t get stds, stis, herpes, or aids from masturbation. God ave us a sex drive to breed and be able to connect with people on a whole new level. At this I’m done because I know I’m a hypocrite with a few things I’ve said but I’m honest and I won’t bow down for a God that a group of liars say exists. The church has lied and killed more people throughout history then any country, tyrant, or group of people. The moment the church is honest and asks the world for forgiveness is the moment I’ll drop to my knees and pray. Till then stop spreading your lies like butter across bread for your publicity.

    • Bradley,

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post, Masturbation Prevention. And although, I appreciate your brutal honesty, I was shocked by the content. It’s obvious there are some major issues which need to be addressed. And since others can see in us what we can’t see in ourselves, I’ll hold up a mirror, with the hope that you’ll see your reflection clearly.

      1. You have been sexually assaulting yourself for “over ten years”
      2. You masturbate with groups of people
      3. Your sex drive is sky “high”
      4. Your erections are so “strong”
      5. You believe your two choices are to “touch yourself” or “touch someone else”
      6. You don’t believe there are any negative physical, emotional, and spiritual effects caused by your masturbation lifestyle
      5. You refuse to bow to God, the creator of you, me, everyone else along with the entire universe
      6. You insult me by saying that my writing is like spreading butter onto a piece of toast.

      My question to you is in regards to your last statement, number six. I’m a little confused. Did you mean that my writing is like the butter or did you mean that my writing is like the toast or did you mean that my writing is like a buttered up piece of toast or did you mean that my writing is like the process of spreading butter onto a piece of toast?

      Please clarify.

      In His Grip,

      Jake Z

      p,s, And how does your reflection look in the mirror?

  5. Wow, you seem to have a few friends with some bad habits, they seem like losers.
    Perhaps if you get your head out of your bible you may realise you Arendt like them.

  6. masturbation supports your ego;which is the cause of all human misery;and anything that supports your ego must be stopped

  7. Ok here’s the deal bro, God gave us a free will to do whatever we want. So don’t bother these people and leave them to suffer the eternal pain of hell. Their level of ignorance is too high.

    P.S. I only did this to stop the argument and I don’t believe in all this stuff. I am a literary skills teacher so I do know a thing or two about persuading.

  8. You’re a very smart person, a great writer, way appart from the shamy standards of the newspapers. But there is only one problem with your article, you asume there is a god called Yahweh, that’s wrong, the only god is The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    God bless you
    Yours
    Virtuoso

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