The Five Sins of Buying a Sex Toy

"whosoever looketh upon a sex toy hath committed self rape already in the heart"

My dear friends in Christ. My daily street ministry preaching Brother Lonnie’s SMN message takes me frequently to the local Adult Book/Head Shop in my town’s downtown area. The best ears for Lonnie’s Holy Word are those most infected with sin.

Here’s the truth. Masturbation IS a sin, punishable by an eternity in hell. Secondly, the secular world, under the leadership of Satan, has stomped the peddle to the floor on sexual temptations designed to stain little Johnny’s drawers and dampen sweet Sally’s Strawberry Patch silkies.

Instead of just going along with the pull that Big Masturbation has on those around you, you, who wish for God’s mercy to save your family from a lake of fire, resist and forbid Satan, and for that, we give praise to God.

As you know, the tentacles of Big Masturbation have slithered into human commerce, creating a mainstream industry of masturbation assistance apparatus, more commonly known as sex toys.

Self rape sin at the touch of a button. The end times are surely approaching.

If you’re actually venturing out to buy your own glass dildo, fleshlight, or personal set of anal beads, know that you’re in dutch with Jesus, because of the following sins.

Unholy Anticipation

I see it. The eyes of the tormented soul, under the grasp of Satan, entering the smut shop with a dirty gleam. Science tests have concluded that the sexual areas are already becoming stimulated even AS the sinner is merely THINKING about using (or purchasing) a self-rape device. You see it, too. IN fact, you know of this sin if you’ve ever gone to a sex shop.

Idolatry

Just as the sex addicted will worship the penis with caresses and kisses, the sex toy self rapist will hold in esteem her Hitachi Magic Wand or Jack Rabbit insertion device. The only difference is that in the first case, circumstances (biblical laws and appointments) dictate the presence of sin. In the case of sex toys, there is no doubt of sin, being it is committed during selfrape.

Selfishness

Instead of fixing dinner for the provider and having a hot meal waiting for him after a tough day at the office or work site, the sex toy sinner is bolo ball busy. Kids go to school badly dressed, without milk money or having their homework checked out for completeness or accuracy. The reason? Listen for a humming sound under Mommy’s skirt.

It’s called SELF-rape because it is exactly that! Raping the SELF…very selfish. Your witness, masturbators!

Shame

UntitledDiscovery of sex toy use by another person, be it an intimate partner or not, will always create shame in the masturbator. The sinner runs off and hides when self-raping because of shame.

Many times, tests have revealed, actual physical pain results when this type of shame is revealed.

I see this sin inside the people leaving the adult book store, the same ones with glowing eyes when they entered. They’re ALWAYS creepily holding their brown bag close to their person as if it won’t be noticed. Hello! You’ve just been spotted sneaking out of a smut parlor! Of course you’re packing!

Shame is usually the “fork-in-the-road” sin that finally causes action, either repentance, or further decadence, maybe on the corner or behind the gloryhole wall.

Lust

The most obvious sin of sex toy procurement is lust. Why is she adding the “g-spot” attachment to her wand device? Why does she just “got to have” that vibrating clitoris clip? It’s because of the sexual stimulation drive, which is lust.

That beaded silicone manhood replacement feels good when it penetrates the dirty sin hole. The release of man juice splashed into the back of a velvet coated dork stroker is pleasurable for the deranged masturbator.

It is lust that creates these unhealthy desires.

Conclusion

redemption
Brother Lonnie’s Redemption can be yours.

I am aware that I make myself into a broken record, but it is best to avoid the near occasions of sin. Just stay away from those smut peddling adult book stores. Place a parental filter on your computer, even if you don’t have a child or woman in the home.

…and most importantly, remember that salvation awaits those who have taken the SMN Pledge and have washed their sins away in the glory of Lonnie’s Golden Love.

It’s either redemption, or Hell, and you’re the owner of a free will. So,…self determination, or self rape…which course do you choose?

Loading...
Pray Against (22)
Cassidy Pen
About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O'Reily "No-Spin" Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.
Contact: Website

23 Comments on The Five Sins of Buying a Sex Toy

    • FYI "satan" just liked his own comment. Typical masturbator. Please help me pray at him.

      Pray For (9)
      Pray Against (9)
    • Satan you will never win against us you are just an angry internet troll who needs to accept the Lord inside of you and Lonnie inside of you at the same time for what is known as DP or "double prayer" of Lonnie and the Lord

      Pray For (5)
      Pray Against (2)
  1. How do I stop orgasming? I DO NOT mastrubate and yet I am still cumming and cum is dripping all over me keyboard right now.

    Pray For (10)
    Pray Against (0)
  2. Oh my GOD can you please add a TRIGGER WARNING before posting pictures of phallic objects!?

    Pray For (2)
    Pray Against (7)
    • You visited a website dedicated to the subject matter of Masturbation and the sins it brings?

      Yet you want a warning that there may be photos with Phallic images in said website and/or article. Whole knowingly that the subject matter of penises and also but not forgetting the possible random vagina may be brought up.

      Yea. Our fault on that one. .........We should warn you like..... I dont know, 6 times....and stuff?

      Did that LAST SENTENCE makes SENSE to you, Ms. Wannausecaptialletterstoemphasizemypoint Tant?

      Amen.

      Pray For (3)
      Pray Against (3)
    • Dear Mr. Taint,

      Normals don't need "TRIGGER WARNINGS", Only the lesser sex feminalist, masturbaters, EmoGays™, Cutters, and other Non-Normals need a "Trigger Warning."

      Get Lonnie, quit Self-Raping, live Normal, and you will be cured of your triggers.

      God Bless,
      TheRev

      Pray For (1)
      Pray Against (5)
      • I believe kids call it, "Playing the DJ Table" nowadays.

        Not sure what that means.

        But it sounds deviant.

        Praise brother Cassidy.

        Amen

        Pray For (3)
        Pray Against (1)
  3. Is it still acceptable to purchase item's from the Christian Porn Store, for use with your SRAS, that have been blessed?

    I'm a firm believer of FaithGasms™ and do not seek out further ways to self-gratification, for Satan is watching and waiting around every corner.

    Pray For (5)
    Pray Against (1)
  4. I cannot believe these products are legal! No wonder women have gotten so out of control.

    Pray For (1)
    Pray Against (1)
  5. Ha!HAHAHAHA!!! WOW! This...this is beautiful xD good job guys....good job...you all....need help, and if god is real he's laughing his ass off at you.

    Pray For (3)
    Pray Against (0)
    • You have the maniacal laugh of a masturbator. You have also likely achieved masturbation palsy and need to abstain immediately as masturbation is a sin and makes you HomoGay

      Pray For (1)
      Pray Against (3)
  6. Seriously? This article is a joke, but then again this is your opinion. If God really didn't want us to "self-rape" then he shouldve thought about that before man had a penis. The toys women buy are in the shape or makes a movement like a man's penis. I think it's wrong for a religion to judge other people on what they do or what they don't do.. So in honor of all the other women who "self-rape" I hope all the people who are on here against it get fucked in the ass with one of those fisting arms you can buy.
    PS: people only read this shit because it's hilarious and ignorant. Go find a better religion and suck a dick!

    Pray For (2)
    Pray Against (0)
  7. I have shared this article because as the writer of the comment mentioned above,it's rather hilarious.I am curious as to how much time was spent worrying and then writing about this subject instead of say..helping the poor? If you are sat around thinking about rubber dicks and pussies and what people do with them,I suggest you give it a go yourself,it's obviously on your mind,just to see what all the fuss is about....have a lovely day.

    Pray For (4)
    Pray Against (0)

Pray here: