Morals / Self-Rape Prevention

[UNCOVERED]: The Big Masturbation Plot to Self-Rape Our Children

 

They want to turn our kids into perverts!

They want to turn our kids into perverts!

The launch of Stop Masturbation Now’s Anti-Masturbation Cross™ has met with unqualified success over the past twenty-four hours, crashing our holy netsite with pre-orders and projecting our bold design to seemingly every corner of the internet.  Alas, no good turn goes unpunished – as it seems that the forces of Big Masturbation have already infringed upon our designs for the Anti-Masturbation Cross™ by producing several knock-off prototypes of the device which have been altered in order to encourage the very injuries that we sought to prevent.

The device in question has been tentatively named the Poopoose™, and has been altered in such a way as to ensure that the child’s hands will be forcibly held within the general region of their genitalia in order to promote self-rape. This turn of events has been very concerning to Lonnie Childs and our holy netsite community, as it threatens to cause an epidemic of self-rape in the name of anti-masturbation, while at the same time discrediting our own potentially lifesaving device.

3 2 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
114 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
dan
dan
6 years ago

you guys are fucked

jimmyt
jimmyt
6 years ago
Reply to  dan

Time to rub one off! Gonna beat my dick like it owes me money!

MASTURBATE
1 month ago
Reply to  jimmyt

Penis used harden.

iMasturbate
iMasturbate
6 years ago

The kid’s grinning because they’ve figured out a way to touch themselves anyway. So now they get to spend all night doing so. 🙂

Nancy Bootz
6 years ago

I feel like crying, reading the news has become too upsetting. I would prefer not to know the evil that is spread beyond our compound gates. Please Lonnie, do something!!!!!!

just your average guy
just your average guy
6 years ago
Reply to  Nancy Bootz

You’re a cult just like Waco, and religious extremists like the Taliban and al-Qaeda! Groups like YOURS are the problems in this world! Unfortunately you’re brainwashed so you can’t even see the truth. I know I’m wasting my time but there is no god! You’re only torturing children, and who says they don’t masturbate while they poop….. most people can get off in a few mins if they choose. You can’t watch them every second of the day. besides masturbation is one of the best anti depressants we have at our disposal. Hopefully you won’t meet the same demise as… Read more »

Nancy Bootz
6 years ago

Please Lonnie, our father, make these evil sinners burn in pain for eternity. Amen.

Ultime
Ultime
6 years ago
Reply to  Nancy Bootz

We shall never burn, still waiting to climax.

Pipo
Pipo
6 years ago
Reply to  Ultime

If it burns, you probably got herpes.

KnuckleDeep
KnuckleDeep
6 years ago
Reply to  Nancy Bootz

God’s name is Lonnie?

Bitchy
Bitchy
6 years ago
Reply to  Nancy Bootz

You pray God and you wish people would die ??? Are you serious ?

MASTURBATE.cum
1 month ago
Reply to  Nancy Bootz

MASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATEMASTURBATE

GOD
GOD
6 years ago

St. Peter just told me he masturbates daily, i mean he gets to see all these young stupid virgins pass his doorway to heaven and he cant stop touching himself.

GoodSin
GoodSin
2 months ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

God I just love to masturbate! It’s amazing!!

Erich Sean
Admin
6 years ago

Nothing pleases the nefarious agents of Big Masturbation more than the thought of children raping themselves.

soulfire
soulfire
6 years ago

This is a joke right? I mean no one would think torturing a child in this way has anything to do with God or Christ.

Erich Sean
Admin
6 years ago
Reply to  soulfire

Sadly, it’s not a joke, Brother soulfire. This product is very real, and the agents of Big Masturbation want to torture our children with it!

alex
alex
6 years ago

if a kid want to jerk off let the poor kid do it. its not ganna make him transform into a devil and rape every thing he sees

Chmmr
Chmmr
6 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

No it really won’t.

T Baich
6 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

What are you like five years old. Would explain your way of thinking.

God is Lurve
God is Lurve
6 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

Praying at brother Baich, so he may gain true understanding.

GoodSin
GoodSin
2 months ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

How?

billy bob
6 years ago

What is up with you guys? Why are you brainwashing these poor people? There is no such thing as self rape. Rape is defined by a sexual act forced upon someone. The decision of someone to choke their chicken is in no way an act of rape. It was a decision made by that person, for their reasons. Not yours. The very idea of putting a child in a straight jacket every night is frightening. Can you imagine if child services were to find out that you were imprisoning a child in its own home? You people are sick. I… Read more »

alex
alex
6 years ago
Reply to  billy bob

fuck yea man!!! 😀

GoodSin
GoodSin
2 months ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

MASTURFIEND 🤣

yourmom
6 years ago

What the hell is ya’lls issues? Yall are some sick weird fuckers. Strapping kids into a device before bed, wishing pain and suffering on others that do not see your views, and acting like your views are the only ones that make sense. It’s people like yall that cause ppl to hate religion and Christianity. All of you should be flogged. Keep up the good work of creatinga more insane and uncooperative world. P.S. that was sarcasm for those that are too damn stupid to catch it!

alex
alex
6 years ago
Reply to  yourmom

this is why my friend I am an atheist my name used to be jebus christler but these dip shits drove me to change my name to alex

Ana L. Rumpus
6 years ago

I am a victim of Self Rape, I rape myself hard in the vagina and anus. I cannot stop raping myself. Sometimes I buy myself a drinking and wait until I am not looking and sprinkle GHB in there. Then I drink it unknowingly. Often times I wake up in my own bed not knowing where I am because of the vicious Self Rape I just administered to myself, unintentionally. I have even become a victim of Self Gang Rape, where my feet get involved, please pray for me to avoid being self raped, i have stopped wearing spaghetti strap… Read more »

oh really?
oh really?
6 years ago
Reply to  Ana L. Rumpus

video or didn’t happen

Bitchy
Bitchy
6 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

Anal

GoodSin
GoodSin
2 months ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

Julian you’re a stupid motherfucker

Willy Fisterbottom
Willy Fisterbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  Ana L. Rumpus

“Ana L. Rumpus” no one sees that they’ve been had? Really? You do nothing for the cause when people say religious people lack intelligence.

Groose
Groose
5 years ago
Reply to  Ana L. Rumpus

Do you have a video cause that sounds hot

Emo_Lesbian_Homosexual
4 months ago
Reply to  Ana L. Rumpus

Yo, yo got a video? I wanna self-rape myself to that. y’know preform that homosexual, self-rape, sin my dude.

JC
JC
6 years ago

Can you do a BDSM version too please ?

alex
alex
6 years ago
Reply to  JC
jesus
jesus
6 years ago

I am a victom of self rape one morning I woke up with my penis in my asshole and I hade to get it cut off and the seeman removed from my rectom and now I am a woman with no tits

darren
darren
6 years ago
Reply to  jesus

Becaues logic lol

Satan
6 years ago

I raped myself last night and this morning . Was good man. I can feel a rely rape cumming right now brb

jimmyt
jimmyt
6 years ago
Reply to  Satan

Relay Rape!!! That’s fucking great man!!!!

Youshould'ntneedmyemailformetocomment
Youshould'ntneedmyemailformetocomment
6 years ago

One question… of god didn’t want you to touch yourself… why would he give guys wood in the morning and so often? And why would girls get horny and tingly ‘down there’? “Satan causes it.” is not a response… I’m pretty sure (if he does exist) that he would be far too busy trying to cause America to nuke Iraq than to ‘force’ people to touch themselves… all I’m saying is… try it… and don’t feel guilty. It’s perfectly healthy. If you know a man who is a virgin at the age of 25 or so and has ‘never masturbated’…… Read more »

Chmmr
Chmmr
6 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

If they choose to fail that test, it’s up to them, not you. Regardless of age. This is just a torture device.

GoodSin
GoodSin
2 months ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

You got mega blue balls

fada maka
fada maka
6 years ago

this cant be real. in Finland you would be convicted for doing something like that to a child.

GoodSin
GoodSin
2 months ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

I feel like youre a pedophile.

micheal
6 years ago

there is no such thing as rape yourself that’s impossible so sad your teaching people nonsense I been raped before by men real rape hurts and is forced by someone else its not welling its not free choice its someone forcing you to have sex its not of love or of light of god . there is nouthing wrong with giving self love to yourself masturbation is a act of loving your self in the highest way it duse not hurt you at all think of it you love yourself you have needs your in a human body your a… Read more »

Master Bait
Master Bait
6 years ago

Peeps.. this is a fake Troll site. Hilarious though.

Didde
Didde
6 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

God isn’t real -everyone knows that! How old are you?

Satan's Official Twitter
Satan's Official Twitter
6 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

I have trolls, they are real, don’t believe, come visit! we offer a comprehensive travel package as well as free SPF 5000 for you lighter skin dudes. Like the smell of roasting chicken? get ready to smell that 24/7 as you BURN FOR ETERNITY your next vacation!

micheal
6 years ago

ohhh I see some fake bullcrap site hmmm

RH
RH
6 years ago

most kids jerk off at school during the day anyways.

penis
penis
6 years ago

I have masturbated in public 103 times in one week and I have sucked some dudes dick for $13

The dude
The dude
6 years ago

Same here

penis
penis
6 years ago
Reply to  The dude

yo man we should meet up and have a few outher black guys to have hardcore gay sex with us and jizz on our bodys 😉

The dude
The dude
6 years ago

Oh yea totally 😉 I’m up for that

penis
penis
6 years ago
Reply to  The dude

im rubbing my penis on the screen for you 😉

The dude
The dude
6 years ago

Oh I’m licking the screen as we speak 😉

penis
penis
6 years ago
Reply to  The dude

oh god make me sin all on the screen 😉

The dude
The dude
6 years ago

Oh Yess who’s your daddy 😉

Expand Dong
Expand Dong
6 years ago

Oh god i can feel the sin running down my pants right now <3

The dude
The dude
6 years ago

Ohhhhhh jerbuus

yolo butt swaggington
yolo butt swaggington
6 years ago

Your helping the molesters with this if the kid cant get out a pedo wil snatch dat fool and he will have semon and a demon in him

Leonard Chimball, Jr.
Leonard Chimball, Jr.
6 years ago

This is terrible and I pray to Lonnie that Big Masturbation is stopped. The comments on this page are ridiculous as well. You people need some serious help. masturbation is a top 10 cause of disease as well as incest and a homogay act. Disgusting.

Leonard Chimball, Jr.
Leonard Chimball, Jr.
6 years ago

I’ll tell you why it is rape- your body has no say! And, you are having sex with yourself- same gender, same family. Gay and incest. Disgusting.

Leonard Chimball, Jr.
6 years ago

I pray at all of you. May you find the redemption of Lonnie Childs

Erich Sean
Admin
6 years ago

Great to see you, Leonard! Praise!

sin in my bun
sin in my bun
6 years ago

tie me to the cross and fuck my ass

Lauren
6 years ago

Is this some kind of sick joke? Who the hell is Lonnie childs? This is the most sickening shit I’ve seen in years. There is no such thing as self rape. Stop trying to make money off of people’s stupidity and ignorance! Sadly, people can be easily persuaded… Especially on the internet. Being against sex before marriage is one thing, but telling people to strap their kid to a [torture] device where they can’t move? That seems ok to you? And you ignorant assholes that are planning on using this on your child, spread the word! That way, someone can… Read more »

Anonymous Mouse
Anonymous Mouse
6 years ago

this

is so fucking funny.

I found the ‘anti-masturbation cross’ in a photo of collegehumor. Oh my god, you sick fucks honestly think masturbation is evil?

Seriously, where in the bible does it say masturbation is evil? Spilling your seed, maybe, but you can bottle that shit or donate it to a sperm-bank, bitches!

asshole
asshole
6 years ago

After reading Ana L. Rumpus’s comment, I had to go and self rape for awhile.. was fucking great! would be better though, if she made a video of it and told me which porn site to find it.

Josh Sammuel Arnold
6 years ago

It’s okay guys. If they are strapped in there and a fire breaks out. God will magically unstrap the child to run for his life.

sponge
sponge
6 years ago

Absolutely nothing wrong with a crafty wank. But these devices are full on child abuse. Want to fuck your child’s head up for life? Get one of these. Mental bastards

bob
bob
6 years ago

After seeing that there are religious fanatics that are this fucked up, i’m gonna go in a church and wank-off till i cum on the floor.

sadf
sadf
6 years ago

w

Satan's Official Twitter
Satan's Official Twitter
6 years ago

Seriously guys, just stop. You are literally effecting my bottom line with all this sin saving material. If you do not cease work now I will be forced to take legal action! Trust me, I have millions and millions of best Lawyers in my dominion and won’t hesitate to make you BURN FOR ALL ETERNITY.

Kurt
Kurt
6 years ago

bloody hell this is ridiculouse on both sides! i saw a pic of this anti masturbation cross and couldnt belive it was am actual thing and thats not because i activly encourage masturbation but just because the concept is ridiculouse. you can agree or disagree with masturbation but what is simple fact is that it is a completly natural thing especialy in children who are mearly exploring there own world. humans are not the only species to participate in masturbation for example most primeates obviously including humans masturbate and its just another natural instinct givin to us (and i say… Read more »

Isaiah
Isaiah
6 years ago

It’s things like this that make non-religious people dislike religious people. People like this give Christians like me a bad name. I’m 16 and masturbate all the time.

Kurt
Kurt
6 years ago

meanwhile back in reality my previouse coment will be abused by those who have closed minds. maybe its not the people out sid of your odd compound that need to be prayed for.

Kurt
Kurt
6 years ago

and now take a step back and i do see this is an awsomly planed joke. cant belive i didnt spot that 🙂

Satan.
Satan.
6 years ago

This is such absolute horseshit…. Makes me glad I’m an Atheist.

luke
luke
6 years ago

I’m a Christian but I’m not praying for this comment. Julian Taylor you are one messed up guy, you don’t have the right to put kids in this neither do there parents. Grow the fuck up. Your parent’s didn’t stop you playing with yourself. This is FUCKING WEIRD! GET A LIFE AND A JOB !

T Baich
6 years ago

It is obvious that most of you never made it past the third grade. I am embarrassed for you all.

Jackie TS
Jackie TS
6 years ago

SHAME on you who put your child in this! Maybe this is what you need! You should be slapped for even creating this

No no no
No no no
6 years ago

Is this for real? Self rape? This is a joke right?

This web is really stupid
This web is really stupid
6 years ago

hahaha I’ve been comming to this site just to lmao hahaha I actually got a chubby from some comments u kinky bastards