(Stop Masturbation Now)—Free and open radio is an often overlooked part of Americana, a thing that makes America better than its socialist neighbors. However, even in today’s liberal culture, occasionally a radio program rises above the rest to shine. Today we would like to honor the Dan Le Batard show on ESPN radio with the 2014 Fappy award for best sports radio show.
Dan Le Batard is a shining star on an otherwise ridiculous lineup of radio shows. Mike and Mike is on at like 2:00AM disrespecting the conservative western part of America. Collin Cowherd is homogay for the Dallas Cowboys and Tony Romo and spends 2 hours per show talking about himself and his wine company. Scott Van Pelt is okay but that heathen Ryan Russillo drags him down constantly. We don’t even want to tell you what Sedano and Stink are into. And Freddie Coleman is like a cult preacher preaching the wrong thing. However Dan Le Batard is a shining example of what family values and American freedom are all about.
Dan Le Batard was conceived in March 1968. He then attended the prestigious University of Miami and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism and politics. Dan is renowned for his work with minorities, taking the lesser gendered Stu Gotz under his wing as his mentor. Le Batard this year exposed the hypocritical voting of the BBWAA and in doing so made the world a slightly better place. He then was suspended by ESPN for an innocent act of buying billboard space in Akron Ohio that thanked Lebron James for his time in Miami. That billboard helped to contribute to the struggling Akron Economy.
Stop Masturbation Now and leader Lonnie Childs would like to thank Dan Le Batard for his contributions to American family values and to the continued freedom of speech.
Praise Le Batard!
The Dan Le Batard show can be found on ESPN Radio 1:00-4:00 Pacific time. Channel 83 SiriusXM Satellite Radio and on 790am Miami.