TheRev Leroy Jenkins was born the oldest of 13 children in a small farm town of Sweet Apple, Oh. While on the farm he learned to fear god, a woman's place is in the kitchen, a mans place is to be the head of the household, and masturbation is a sin. At 18 TheRev left his small town and moved to Seattle to attend college, while there he was tempted by some filthy pot-weed injecting hippies to try masturbations, this led to a downward spiral of ellis dee bong hits, pot weed injections, listening to Milli Vanilli, and holding a sign saying "Will self rape for McNuggets." He was at his lowest point in his life when he was saved by Lonnie Childs of the Stop Masturbation Now church, Lonnie took him in, bathed him in his Holy Golden Shower of Truth, and educated him in FaithFacts™ and Brother Lonnie's University of FaithFacts™ in Stafford, AZ. TheRev was an avid student and earned his PHD of FaithFacts™ from B.L.U.FF and was sent out on a Mission to spread Lonnie's word to heathen Amish-Mexicans in rural Ohio. TheRev now resides in Ohio and runs the Ohio B.L.U.FF campus in Homersville, Oh with his 5 Same Race Assigned Spouses and his 23 Normal children. Brother Leroy is Senior Staff writer for B.L.U.FF Press LLC. In 2011 TheRev was awarded The Pulitzer Prize and Edward G. Murrow Award for his in depth expose' on the Myth of the Female Orgasm.
I regret that I used to Diddle and Drive. My friends and I all did it. We’d self-rape while driving to places to hang out and then share our experiences self-raping.
My wake-up call came when one of my friends was Diddling and Driving and drove straight into a school bus full of kids on a field trip. The bus exploded instantly, killing all the kids without pain. My friend slowly burned to death. Apparently he was too busy self-raping that he didn’t realize anything bad had happened until the fire started burning his Sin Stick. By then he was trapped.
I repented from my sinful ways after that. I tried to get my friends to see the light, but they refused. I found new friends. My old “friends” all ended up dying in various car wrecks all caused by Diddling and Driving.
I hope this is a listen for everyone reading this. Don’t Diddle and Drive or you’ll Diddle and DIE.
Dude I’m just laughing so much. I wasn’t sure if this site was populated by people with a good sense of humor or lunatics, but now I know. I mean, who would fap while driving? It’s all to apparent that you guys arn’t serious.
We are serious but we do like to joke around and have a good time. Masturbators are very, very easy to make fun of, and we do have fun doing it.
A truly inspirational story. I would encourage you to take the SMN pledge, just to prove to everyone here, how serious you are about this matter.
I’m Pretty sure that you mean to not use a phone and drive at the same time, because if someone were to fap while driving I’m sure that they have some problems, just you have a problem with being obnoxious trolls who just wont just do everyone a favor and fuck off.