Mexi-FemiNazi’s Attack Chancellor Lonnie Childs During Press Conference!

February 4, 2017 1

Mexi-FemiNazi turns blue in the face from lack of oxygen as BLUFF agents threw her out into the street. /AP Photo

By Nigel J. Covington III

Reporting For SMN News

(SMN News) Today the U.S. Department of Education, (DOE) announced the Board of Education has approved a new Sex Education curriculum for all high school aged students who attend public high schools throughout the country.

Cynthia Castle-Coe, a spokesperson for the DOE, said, “Last week the board approved the BLUFF Sex Education Curriculum, submitted […]

Research Shows These Seven Hobbies Will Prevent Self-Rape

August 31, 2015 17

For a long time, it was believed that God gave people a given level of abstinence and there was nothing anyone could to to prevent the sinful lust impulses that lead to masturbation.

Scientists at Brother Lonnie University or Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) through a grant awarded by the Foundation for a Better Tomorrow have now proven that we can actually increase our abstinence potential and enjoy ourselves without handling our filthy sex organs in the process.

Here is a list of seven […]

Sign the Purity Pledge

March 4, 2015 25

“It’s always interesting to me when people say, ‘I’m not gonna’ have sex until I really love the person.’ To me that’s kinda’ like saying ‘I’m not gonna’ rob the bank until I really need money.’”
-Amber Haskew, Day of Purity coordinator

I hate this time of year for two reasons:
1. I’ve never had a girlfriend.
2. People bombard me with the same question: “Jake, are you really still a virgin?”

That question sucks because I’ve always had to give the same […]

Ways To Abstain From The Sin of Masturbation

July 6, 2014 20

It is a known fact that masturbation is a top-ten cause of serious disease, as well as an act of incest and a act of homosexuality. As dictated by the Lord’s prophet on earth Lonald “Lonnie” Childs, we must not only abstain completely from masturbation, we much preach abstinence to all and illuminate them to the dangers of it and save their souls from this terrible affliction. As we go about our missions, we must abstain ourselves and to this […]

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