Is the “Halo” gaming franchise promoting Self-Rape?

January 20, 2015 24

A screenshot from the “Halo” gaming franchise. This one comes from “Mass Effect 2”.

Here is what the Liberal lies claim about this “game” on Wikipedia(a known Communist site):
“In the distant past, a powerful race called the Forerunners fought an alien parasite known as the Flood. The Flood, which spread through infestation of sentient life, overran much of the Milky Way Galaxy. One of the races affected was humanity, who came into conflict with the Forerunners. Exhausted by their war […]

Bruce Danus Saves Top Gear from the KOK River

November 23, 2014 7

The crew of Top Gear, before being saved by me.

A British show about bad motor vehicles, called “Top Gear”, recently traveled to my favorite Third World Country, Thailand/Burma. They ran into many issues, because Jeremy Clarkson is a racist. We all need to pray at Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May.

While I hate these 3 humans, mainly due to their Britishness, I love the Television moving picture show, because they only show gas guzzling amazing vehicles. They seem to […]

Masturbation is Russian Roulette!

October 20, 2014 11

Heart attacks, blindness and ligament damage (Devil’s Elbow) are all diseases associated with self-rape.  Whenever you masturbate you’re playing Russian Roulette!  Your next stroke of the sin-sword or ringing of the Devil’s Doorbell could be your last!  Do you really want to go out like British rocker Michael Hutchinson or Oriental Kung-Fu fighter David

Brother Lonnie Announces Efforts to Repeal 19th Amendment

September 17, 2014 11

When Barak Obama signed the 19th Amendment into law few could have seen the unintended disastrous consequences.  LIEberal activist judges have taken liberties with this new law imbuing it with rights that were never intended.  The 19th Amendment was designed to make female circumcision legal and somehow these hactivist judges have decided it also gives unattractive women the right to masturbate, vote, drive, own property and have sexual congress with other unattractive women.  As preached by Brother Lonnie, women are […]

BLUFF Librarian Publishes Book, Library Burns To The Ground

August 30, 2014 11

Stafford, AZ – The Lonnie Childs Private Library, operated and managed by Alicia Stephenhopper, has burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances. The state of the art facility, offering the latest dial-up internet access and dozens of books and publications to the members of the BLUFF compound, will be closed indefinitely pending a decision by the Normal Council of Men to rebuild the facility.

“I honestly don’t know who would do this. I’m just heartbroken about the whole thing. […]

Michael Hutchinson, Lead Singer of British Band INXS, Suffers Humiliating Masturbation Death

August 10, 2014 29

Hear that sound?  That’s the sound of Satan accepting a new victim into his realm.  Michael Hutchinson, lead singer of British death metal band INXS, died recently due to masturbation-related complications.  From an outsider’s perspective Michael seemed to have a fulfilling yet wild life.  He had money, fame and respect.  He had sold out concerts and hit records.  Unfortunately, however, Michael had a devil inside him.  A devil that seduced him with the irresistible song of self-rape.  Over the years, […]

Sharp Rise in Deaths As Sharks Attack and Eat Masturbators

July 28, 2014 33


An unprecedented increase in various species of sharks attacking and eating people, is most likely caused by masturbation, Faithscientists say.

This year, dozens of people on the East Coast have been attacked and/or eaten by sharks, and until recently, nobody had even the slightest clue why. A team of elite anti-masturbation Faithmarinebiologists spent weeks baiting sharks and experimenting on their corpses. They have concluded that all people consumed by ravenous sharks were masturbating.

Sharks, which are already agitated, are […]

Girl Killed by Meteor Strike While Masturbating

July 25, 2014 43

Chelyabinsk, Russian Communist C.C.C.P (SMNN)

Thanks to a huge out-pouring of public information, B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow’s informational staff have found evidence that a 16-year-old female was killed by a meteorite impact, while masturbating outside, during the Chelyabinsk Meteor Incident in February of 2013.

Magda Leshniac had been forbidden from masturbating within her home by her father Gregorz, who is a devout Ukrainian Orthodox Lonnistian, and was banished from her home, and sent to live outside.

Said Mr. Leshniac, […]

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