B.L.U.F.F. Male Masturbation Detection

November 21, 2016 12

SMN -My dear friends in Christ through the Lonaldian Way. As you are well aware, the fight against the sin of self rape is an ongoing process, one that is never finished. The holy bible, being the most important reference on the topic of morality, contains certain instructions and responsibilities that Christian parents are expected to abide by. The first and foremost of these responsibilities is to protect your precious children from sin.

The masculine parent is under just such an […]

Youth Caught Self Raping

June 23, 2016 64

When Dana Pridemore of Evanston, IL climbed the stairs of her family’s two-story suburban home to  retire for the evening, all she had on her mind was her Harper’s Magazine and a few segments of the Tonight Show before turning in.

She visited her daughter Sarah, who at the tender age of eleven, had never failed the SMN Finger Sniff. Tonight was no different. Sarah’s fingers were clean and fresh smelling. There were no signs of vaginal syrup or pungent odor to […]

BLUFF Calls for a Boycott of the New Star Wars Movie

January 5, 2016 15

Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (BLUFF), along with the N.A.A.W.P., has announced a boycott and will schedule protests of the new Star Wars movie on the grounds that it discriminates against Self Celibate Normals.

In a press release issued by the B.L.U.F.F. Legal Action Foundation (BLUFF-LAF), Brother Lonnie Childs’ words were made public:

“We at BLUFF have announced a boycott of the new Star Wars Movie.

“Strange and peculiar skin toned individuals, who by definition self rape frequently and with tremendous vigour, are […]

B.L.U.F.F. Safford Campus Announces Big Game Safari to Zimbabwe

July 31, 2015 4

Safford, Arizona – Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts (B.L.U.F.F.) has announced a special safari and big game hunting excursion to the African Nation of Zimbabwe. Special Services Recreational Director and long-time B.L.U.F.F. elder Thomas Downey announced the trip during a closed question-and-answer session between the B.L.U.F.F. Eldership and SMN Pledges in high standing at the Safford, AZ Campus.

A contingent of B.L.U.F.F. Superior Gendered Normals will depart on a chartered flight from Phoenix International Airport on Monday, September 7 and arrive […]

Masturbation Warning: Dear Abby

July 29, 2015 19

Jeanne Phillips, who writes the “Dear Abby” column, has come out as a self-rapist and proponent of the Satanic lifestyle as pushed on society by agents of Big Masturbation.

In her latest column, Ms. Phillips comforted a despondent, guilt riddled masturbator, Her advice included the statement, “…masturbation is normal. It is not depraved, a crime, or harmful to your health.” Just look at the filthy advice she gives this poor lost soul in the illustration below. (I won’t even go into […]

Study: Masturbation Residues found on 99.7% of Discarded iPhones

June 26, 2015 3

B.L.U.F.F. SAFFORD AZ – Mobile phones and devices have become an increasing fixture in American life during the last decade or two. It seems that a person can go nowhere without finding citizens fiddling away with their noses in a cellular phone or tablet electronic device. Pastors and Ministers have even reported that parishioners will be surfed up during Sunday church services.

But these sins pale in comparison to the most deadly of sins, that of masturbation. At Brother Lonnie’s University […]

New Zealand, the World’s Self Rape Hell

June 20, 2015 15

New Zealand is a volcanic mass in the middle of the sea lying east of the Island nation of Austria. It has been proven that the earthquake and natural disasters which formed New Zealand were the point from which devils burst through the earth in the demonic ascension, one of Satanism’s blackest unholy days.

The Holy Bible contains countless references to this event. Ezekiel 16.3 speaks of “great rumblings of darkness where no souls care to tread” and the book of […]

SMN Self Rape Alert: Mad Max Fury Road

May 20, 2015 11

SMN Safford, AZ-As kids flock to the latest Hollywood Blockbuster, Mad Max-Fury Road, a disturbing parental alert has been issued by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information and Liturgical Foundation (FAPMILF), the anti-masturbation in media arm of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.).

Various hidden pro masturbation messages have been uncovered in the film which has earned a FAPMILF color code rating of red, or nearly %100 danger of masturbation sin to minors and the weak-minded. This SMN Self Rape […]

Masturbation: Offensive Across All Seven Deadly Sins

April 28, 2015 20

Safford, AZ – For years, the Stop Masturbation Now! Ministries has warned of and demonstrated the evils of Masturbation. The absolute harm done when one inflicts self rape activity on his or her soul when finger dancing the skin flute or spelunking the sin cave is incontrovertible, but still, agents of Big Masturbation have implanted seeds of doubt within the minds of the gullible and non-normal populations of God’s earth.

A shocking study performed at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts […]

MASTURBATION ALERT! Bert Strips Pose a Clear and Present Self-Rape Threat

March 23, 2015 6

B.L.U.F.F. (Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts) has raised the overall self rape level to Orange-Imminent Threat of Self-Rape detected.

The Facebook Rise of the Butthurt has published a series of “Bertstrips.” These crude cartoons pose an imminent threat of self rape!

The following is official information from the B.L.U.F.F. Self-Rape Emergency Broadcast System:

Self-rape activity has been detected and confirmed as a result of exposure to this facebook.

Please use caution. Place proper software locks on the facebook to prevent females, children, minorities, […]

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