Proper Pumpkin Carving

October 1, 2014 11

My dear friends in Christ. To avoid the near occasion of self rape sin, B.L.U.F.F. recommends individuals take up a hobby or seasonal pursuit. One such endeavour is pumpkin carving. The above chart illustrates just […]

B.L.U.F.F. Libary Re-Opens, Receives New Tank

September 27, 2014 10

Safford AZ-(SMNNN) B.L.U.F.F. library officially re-open, under great ceremony, last evening. The library, having been destroyed in a raging spontaneous fire that had nothing to do with any wizards whatsoever, has been newly renovated, and […]

The Menstrual Hut

September 23, 2014 20

The Menstrual Hut Procedures and Guidelines *Note: The following is a living document subject to refinement, adjustment, and reinterpretation by Brother Lonnie in conjunction with the B.L.U.F.F. Council of Elders (Eldership). Revisions may occur without […]

A Button-down Appointed Spouse…

September 15, 2014 6

Brother Lonald explains to his followers, The need for Christianity to be at the forefront of preventing self-rape and other flesh sins is apparent. The devil seeks to destroy your soul by breaking down your […]

Masturbator Caught! Blames Solar Flares!

September 11, 2014 3

NEWBERRY PALMS, CA – Earlier today, 15 year old Cindy Saccapelli committed the sin of masturbation at her Catholic place of learning. When first responding school officials questioned her, she claimed the stains on her […]

Masturbation Triggered Japasian Landslides

August 25, 2014 26

HIROSHIMA, Japasia – The devastating landslides that rocked Japasia and caused numerous deaths and billions of yen worth of property damage were determined to have been triggered by massive and furious masturbation, according to scientists […]

The Temptations of the Camel Toe

August 20, 2014 12

Indeed, the camel toe is Satan’s powerful weapon in his war to destroy your soul. A camel toe is a slang used to describe the shape and appearance of certain female boxes. When a woman […]

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